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Am I crazy?

Joined
14 December 2003
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NSXPO '05, '10 & '15
I'd like to ask those of you with some experience your feedback please.

I currently have a job that requires a lot of travel, anywhere from 50-80% of travel. It varies constantly, since what I do is sales related.

I have been doing this for several years, and lately it's become more difficult to do since it requires time away from my family, and I've become some what burned out on the travel. I am in my 30's.

I am investigating another position (may or may not be with the same employer) that requires very little travel, and is not sales related.

However, I would probably have to relocate (which would be paid for), and take a paycut. I would lose about $10-$20k in base pay, and probably about $30-$70k in bonuses. The new position still will pay well over $50k (the amount that is a threshhold for maximum money happiness, according to the 20/20 TV article).

So basically I am looking at forfeiting quite a bit of income to have stability in my life. I would spend more time at home and with the family, and hardly ever have to live out of a suit case again.

In addition, I feel that the sales job has become routine for me. At first it was a challenge, and required that I learn new skills, such as sales & technical skills, as well as people skills - learning how to speak in front of small and large groups of people. I feel like I have mastered this. The opportunity for my personal growth in terms of skills is some what limited, I feel like.

The new position will offer a whole new set of skills and challenges for me. I will learn to manage other people, learn to develop a team, and really work as a team towards common goals. That in itself is very appealing, since it will boost my resume with management skills, in addition to the sales, technical, and communication skills that I've already picked up.

So the bottom line is: am I crazy to seriously think about transition to a new life - a new place for my family to move to, and a new job that will result in a big pay cut, but allow me to spend more time with my family as well as help me develop new skills?
 
NSXMAS:

You are absolutely not crazy to want to spend more time with your family and less time with JW Marriott. I travel for work too, and have for 10 years. I used to be on the road from Sunday evening until Thursday night every week, with 2 daughters and a wife who might as well have been a single mom. I made the conscious decision to change companies and relocate, simply so I could be home more. I was more than willing to make less $$ if it meant an improvement in the quality of my family's life, which it absolutely did.

What is interesting is that I ended up making more $$ (my job is primarily commission based), because I didn't feel burned out all the time. There is a point when you begin to resent your job, and that carries over into how you present yourself, which will lead to less sales and hence less $$$. Once I made the change, I had an entirely different attitude, and I felt refreshed and ready to get to work.

Even if I made significantly less as a result, it would still have been the right choice. My daughters don't have any idea how much I make, and they couldn't care less about my job...all they want is for me to be at home with them as much as possible. No amount of money can ever make up for that lost opportunity.

Long post, I know, but this is something I believe in pretty strongly, and I for one encourage you to do what you know is right in your heart. The money will always follow if you do what you love and take care to balance out your life. BTW, I'm in my 30s also, so there is plenty of time ahead of us to make money, but if you blink too long, your kids are gone (and your wife might be too).

Good luck!

Todd
 
Obviously you already know every intelligent answer you are likely to get here. But if hearing (reading) them helps, then no, you aren't crazy. I know people who have done just what you are contemplating. Some were very happy and adjusted to make it work, while others worked hard to move up the ladder in the new position and eventually recoup some of the lost income. Still others went back on the road after awhile and in some cases still bounce back and forth as opportunities arise. (those are the weird ones) So, if you really are good at what you do and are confident that the move could be reversed, then do what feels right if you have the blessing of your family.

Edit: I see that I've been beat to the draw again. But like I said, you know all this anyway. ;)
 
I hope you young guys out there that read this see what's going on here. I to am in my 30's and feel the same way as NsXMas.
The message here for those in their 20's is SAVE SAVE SAVE. Working long hours in your 30's is not as easy as it is when your in your 20's, mentally or physically. If you spend your 20's setting yourself up for the rest of your life you wont need to spend the rest of your life paying for your 20's.
 
Family is the only thing that matters.
I moved to Canada just for that reason.
I lose a lot of money each year with the tax rates over here, that's money I could be saving by living in the US.
You can be happy with less money, but can you be happy with less of a family?
Kids are were its at, do the right thing.
 
steveny said:
I hope you young guys out there that read this see what's going on here. I to am in my 30's and feel the same way as NsXMas.
The message here for those in their 20's is SAVE SAVE SAVE. Working long hours in your 30's is not as easy as it is when your in your 20's, mentally or physically. If you spend your 20's setting yourself up for the rest of your life you wont need to spend the rest of your life paying for your 20's.

Yea, yea, sure, but by 30 you're too old to enjoy it anyway. :D
 
Thanks everyone for the replies so far.

LeftLane, I agree with what you said 100%. You're right about not being passionate and having it affect work.

sjs, thanks for the vote of confidence.

Steveny and prova4re, very good points as well. I would also add that when you're in your 20's, it's a great time to get that advanced degree as well. It's really tough to get a master's or PHD when you have a family, and have to either juggle work and school, or be unemployed with a family while you're in school. I used my 20's to get an advanced degree, so I didn't quite have as much saved up as I would otherwise have. But so far the advanced degree have opened doors that I would never have had otherwise.

This is probably one of the most difficult decisions to make, and I appreciate all of your experience and feedback. So please keep them coming!
 
NsXMas,
I agree with everyone here, you are not crazy for wanting to be able to spend more time with your family.

But, are the 2 jobs you mention the only options? I find that hard to believe. I guarantee there are more jobs out there that will keep you home, and give you a new challenge, without having to take such a radical paycut. Especially if you are willing to move to where the job is.

You've probably already done this, but use all of the big online job places (monster.com, careerbuilder.com, etc), or hire a headhunter.
And, most importantly, use your connections. I have found that it's usually not what you know, but who you know.
 
money can always be made back....time cannot......

i'm in my 20's and when i look at my mom...i think back at all times my mom has been there for me....

i can say i have those memories and i will cherish them for as long as i live.....


if you don't spend more time with your family...you might 1 day regret it....and your daughters and wife might do the same.....

time is like our companion that follows us everywhere we go.. reminding us to cherish the moment cause it won't come again....
 
3 things:

You don't see a hearse with a luggage rack.

You'll never see anyone on their deathbed wishing they spent more time at work.

What good is a lot money with no time to enjoy it? Better to make "decent" money with some time to enjoy it then gobs of money with no time to enjoy it & kids (and a wife) who only know you from a picture. Try to find a balance.
 
nkb, you're right, I have other options as well. However, the other options will have frequent travel as well.

I have also been thinking of starting my own business. There are some pro's and con's with this option. I am fairly certain that I could succeed in my own business, but this may mean even more hours and time away from family initially, and the chance of poor cash flow for the start up period kind of makes it less attractive. However, the long term potential is pretty good. I haven't ruled this out at all, but it's a distant option at this point.

NCC-1701D and TyraNSX, thanks - points well taken.
 
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