Funny "at the track" sayings / quotes / phrases thread

"Fast curves, hot oil, used rubber" -NASA T-Shirt

student: "Did you see that? That was awesome!!"
instructor: "yes now please don't do that again"
-After student gives a point by with left hand while keeping right hand on the shifter.... Instructor thought he was day dreaming at first and just imagined it.. lol

Second place = first loser.

Love the smell of race fuel in the morning...

If you didnt scare yourself, you can go faster..Ed Bargy My motocycle race instructor...He was right

"watch this shit...."

So I drag race... I hear some good ones out there.
"that thing got a vtec in it?"
"oh I mis shifted"
"excessive tire spin caused me to lose by 15 cars"
You got NOS? (more of the way they say it)
My favorite saying I use out there...shoulda bought a honda.

This is all stuff I have actually heard...

Instructor before a bike track day:

"You wanna make sure all your hoses and oil caps are on tight. You don't wanna splooge all over the place and mess up your buddies."


After getting safely thru a REALLY hairy near-miss of a retaining wall:

"The sphinctometer was definitely at red-line on that one"


After a really nasty crash:

"Aw, that's no problem at all. That will buff right out."


Looking at a ricer Civic in the paddock with a HUGE double wing on the back:

"That'll provide 50 pounds of downforce - sitting still."

DCNSX said:

Looking at a ricer Civic in the paddock with a HUGE double wing on the back:

"That'll provide 50 pounds of downforce - sitting still."

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haha, nice one.

Track Racing is the most fun you can have with your clothes on!

Re: "I"ll be your instructor today............

your job is to not scare me." :wink:

New one from Road Atlanta track day this weekend....motorcycles..." I knew I had that corner then the track change directions"..Me..what?..He meant it as a joke and it just caught me off-guard
This was his third session LOL ..Yes he did go off

Question: "Can I borrow your tools?"

Answer: "No. I've got it down to a science what tools to carry in my NSX track-day car. I bring exactly what I need and I am self sufficient. I don't show up at the track without even a tire pressure gauage and start asking everyone to borrow their jack, sell them a quart of oil, yada, yada, yada."

(Sorry if that's not funny.)

Re: Aren't you 'sposed to be at "The Office"

Question: "Can I borrow your tools?"

Answer: "No. I've got it down to a science what tools to carry in my NSX track-day car. I bring exactly what I need and I am self sufficient. I don't show up at the track without even a tire pressure gauage and start asking everyone to borrow their jack, sell them a quart of oil, yada, yada, yada."

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Dwight Shrute couldn't have said it better.

Heard this one (not exact words perhaps) from Kyle Petty when commenting on NASCAR/Infineon race driving a few laps on a road course:

"The King told me when back that the steering wheel was for steering and not holding to your seat; move your seat if you are not comfortable."

I think I'll use that one to students instead of explaining death grip with leather seats :wink:

The real (wheel to wheel, not HPDE) folks at a 2-day NASA event performed front-end frame repair the first evening by wrapping a tow rope around the frame of the car and yanking it with a truck, repeatedly. While I'm not sure if the phrase was actually spoken, it was one of the finer "hold my beer and watch this" moments I've experienced without anybody getting hurt.

wrapping a tow rope around the frame of the car and yanking it with a truck, repeatedly.

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Yeah, seen that a couple of times at the 25 Hrs. of Thunderhill, only with a chain, not a rope. :smile:

Not so much funny as true...

"finding seconds is easy, its the tenths that are tough"

"How fast can you afford to go"

and on the back of my motorcycle racing organization T-Shirts... "Crashing Sucks"

Re: Duct tape, pop rivets and zip ties............no problemo

After a big wreck last Saturday when the car's sidepod was completely ripped off and went flying, (upper left corner) I went looking for a spare sidepod to get us through Sunday's race. I just naturally thought that with all the attachment points and dzus fasteners ripped out, there was no way. But the most knowledgeable racer/mechanic/coach in the paddock looked at it and said:

"Sheeeeet, what's your problem, I've patched up bodywork far worse than that. Duct tape, pop-rivets, zip-ties...........you'll be fine."

And he was right; and it didn't take all that much. Well, not for me maybe, but it took a lot of Big Al's (aka Fearless Leader) patience. :tongue:

Well Moses from the Phoenix FM shop and now owner of everything Formula Mazda, definitely knew his stuff. That side pod was fixed while I was still trying to figure out how to extricate the inner upper wishbone bracket from the car without dislocating my wrist. When working on these cars remember:

1) You can never have a big enough hammer. :biggrin:
2) The bigger the pry bar the better. :biggrin::biggrin:
3) Never make enemies of your FM competitors. They'll someday provide you with all the right parts to fix the damn thing when it breaks. And if you race FM it will break.

Al aka

Re: Correction

And if you race FM it will break.

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Uh...Al, that should be "and if you race (anything), it will break." :wink:

So true. I think it also goes along with the saying "The way to make a small fortune in racing, is to start with a big one!" Both are givens.

Al T. aka

I do a lot of drifting (yea I know, some track guys make fun of it) so this one gets said often

*looking at a set of tires* "I've never wanted to destroy something I love so much" :biggrin:

Few more:

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." - Mario Andretti

"I might have known what I was in for, when I finished my first race sliding backwards." - Sam Moses

"I left him enough room for the car and a coat of paint and he got through. Congratulations." - James Hinchcliffe

"The older I get, the faster I was." - Unknown

CL65 Captain said:

"watch this shit...."

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"In a spin, both feet in. If in doubt, close your eyes and shout"