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Re: this thread shall never die

And really, what would a pointless thread be without some Chuck Norris...

While still in the womb, Chuck Norris cut his own umbilical cord because "he didn't need anyone's help".

When Chuck Norris walks he rotates the world beneath his feet; he has never moved.

While vacationing in December, 2004, Chuck Norris was stung by a jellyfish in the ocean. Delirious with rage, he round-house kicked the ocean, killing half of Thailand.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

When Chuck Norris passes Go, he collects $400.00

A waiter asked Chuck Norris what he would be eating that night. Chuck Norris replied "Do you serve souls?" The waiter merely chuckled, then every patron and employee in the restaurant simultaneously hung themselves.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, he simply changes the actual spelling of it.

Chuck Norris killed for your sins.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

As a child, Chuck Norris' friends played hide and seek. Chuck Norris played hide and kill.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

In 1997, Chuck achieved a milestone in his life by being the first man ever in the Western Hemisphere to be awarded an 8th degree Black Belt Grand Master recognition in the Tae Kwon Do system. This was a first in 4,500 years of tradition. This one's true folks. Thumbs up Chucky.
 
This thread must never die.
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No joke, I'm still at work, I'm the last one in the office, I'm on my 5 cup of Crown Royal that I'm drinking from a styrofoam cup, I'm slightly hammered and I'm laughing my ass off.
 
Attack of the Bandwidth Vampires!
 

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A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over. The police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde. She asked for the blonde's driver's license.

The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?'

Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"

The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license", then handed it to the blonde policewoman.

The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
 

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remember these oldies?
drop down.jpgextend deadline.jpgF it key.jpghidden settings.jpg
 
and these?
office assistant.jpgwould you like.jpgwriting a letter.jpg
 
:smile:
 
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