Sheesh. A wheel manufacturer who doesn't know what they're talking about. The width of the wheel and tire have nothing to do with the size of the contact patch that the tire puts down; it only affects its shape.
I would decide which size tires you want to use first, and then decide on the best wheel width. For example, most folks with 17" front and 18" rear wheels are using 215/40-17 front and either 255/35-18 or 265/35-18 rear. That will prevent rubbing and won't hurt performance as much as the larger sizes mentioned above for the Falkens.
The Kumho Ecsta MX tires come in the 215/40-17 size for the front and the 265/35-18 size for the rear (but not either of the oversize sizes Richard mentioned for the Falkens), so these are the sizes I would recommend using. According to the specs for the MX, the 265/35-18 size can fit onto rims with widths of 9.0 to 10.5 inches, but the specs for that size apply to the 9.5 inch width. If I were buying wheels and planned to use these tires, I would not use more than 10 inches for the width. I think the wheel manufacturer is giving you very bad advice, since they obviously have no idea what size tires fit an NSX best.