Incredibly angry right now

[Hasdrubal]

Yesterday I thought someone was trying to scam me via email. Got a thing supposedly from my insurance company, saying my claim was now online.

I'm in Iraq, and expecting to be home in about three weeks. My dad has my car, and he's a better driver than I am, so I didn't think I had to worry about anything. Not that I don't worry- I've had nightmares about bad things happening to my car since I came back from leave. So, I emailed him, saying I suspected a scam, and I just wanted to check in.

Here is the summary of the response I got.

1. He let my younger sister, who I really don't like, who wrecked her first and third cars, and who has been known to drive drunk, drive my '92 Formula Red, my second most prized possession in the world, to work.

2. She started leaving the doors open after driving the car. Not just unlocked, but open.

3. Someone came by in the night and used a rock to bash a screwdriver into the ignition.

I can't think of many things, barring a death in the family, that would be worse to come home to after fourteen months overseas. At the very least, I don't think I will be speaking to my sister for, say, five years or so. Possibly to my dad, either.

Just venting, I guess, but I'm incredibly angry right now. I figure posting here is better than tossing grenades in random directions.

Nick

 

[ExCfive]

Dude, That's terrible....so many questions to ask here but suffice to say the damage is done. Sorry to read about this. Best of luck to you. Be safe over there!

 

[LJSB]

At the very least, I don't think I will be speaking to my sister for, say, five years or so. Possibly to my dad, either.

I know you're angry and that you're venting. To tell you the truth, I'm worse than you when I do it.


I'd smash my NSX with a sledgehammer to smithereens if I could talk to my dad face to face for just 1 minute.

My crummy advice:

Calm down, fix your car and forgive your sister. You're lucky to still have both. Open your heart, let her see you love her more than the car and build from there a little at a time.

My car is not even in my list of the top 10 of prized possessions and I bet if you think about it, it isn't in yours either.

Keep your head straight, let your anger go. Don't let this distract you and come home safe.

 

[Ian D]

Joe:

Great advice !

You are a very wise person.

Ian

 

[Jetpilot3]

I would think your sister's conscience and father's conscience are killing them and will be for a long long time!!! Forgive and forget...and remeber the NSX is only a car really.

I agree that it was wrong for your father to lend the car to your dilequent sister but in the end she's your sis and worth more than your car ever will be.

 

[Jin1976]

That was crazy. When I had my Honda Civic, I was kind enough to let members of my family drove it while I drive my NSX. I end up selling the car after I had to replace the engine (overheated), automatic gearbox and broken lower frame. Nobody admit any wrong doings. Hard lesson learned.

Hopefully that is all damage done to your NSX. Be safe.

 

[Hasdrubal]

Thanks for the kind words, guys. If my sister didn't have a history of being irresponsible, I would be more likely to overlook this. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time she's done something stupid at someone else's expense. I'm not looking for revenge, or anything, but I honestly can't think of a single reason to speak to her. Long story, let's just say that my family in general isn't very close.

To those of you who say it's just a car, you're right. I completely understand what you mean, and when I say it's among my most prized possessions, I don't place any possesions above people. I have a separate list for people, but sometimes they move themselves prety far down that list by their actions.

I actually don't have too many physical things that mean a lot to me. Right now there are three that I can think of- my grandfather's WW2 Navy uniform and service knife, and my car.

I really don't have anything else that I care about in any significant way. Break my TV, wreck my bike, those are just things. Replace them and I wouldn't care. The car and the other two, they're things, but at the same time they mean a little more. What really bothers me, now that I've had some time to calm down, is that my father let her in the thing in the first place. The damage may have happened regardless, but I trusted him, and he let a known drunk driver have the keys.

Nick

 

[gdae]

Looks like the damage to the car, while galling, isn’t the really big thing here. A breach of trust by those you count on always hurts most.
So you’ve done what you can to get your dad to lock the car down until you get back? Riding out the remaining time until you return is probably going to be the rough part. As soon as you get back, square the car away, deal with the damage, and let time do its thing for the personal relationships.

 

[jlsnyderNSX]

Nick,
First of all, thank you for your service! And second, I truly hate to hear about stuff like this but it can be fixed. Good luck with it and God Speed...

 

[tosugrad]

Second on the BIG THANKS FOR YOUR SERVICE.

If it were me, however, I would be super pissed at both parties. I mean, WTF??

Concentrate on the task at hand and deal with it when you get home.

God speed.

 

[Texas91Brent]

I understand your pain, my wife backed into mine and blamed me for owning the car!! Make a list of parts needed, I may have some to donate toward the repair. Thanks so much for your service and dedication!!! Matter of fact pm me and I will donate 100.00 towards the repair! thks again:smile:

 

[synergy004]

Very good advise in here. I would probably feel the same as you and IRAQ sucks, a lot of fustration from all the BS, heat, time away from home and everyday being a ground hog day can easily get to someone, trust me I am in this state at times but as everyone said, I concur.

G:biggrin:

 

[nastinupe1]

Dude... it's just a car. It can be replaced. Your sister can not. Just make it home safely ok.

The four or five months that you ignore her may be her last on this earth. Never take life for granted.

Peace be with you.

 

[chado]

Thanks for the kind words, guys. If my sister didn't have a history of being irresponsible, I would be more likely to overlook this. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time she's done something stupid at someone else's expense. I'm not looking for revenge, or anything, but I honestly can't think of a single reason to speak to her. Long story, let's just say that my family in general isn't very close.

To those of you who say it's just a car, you're right. I completely understand what you mean, and when I say it's among my most prized possessions, I don't place any possesions above people. I have a separate list for people, but sometimes they move themselves prety far down that list by their actions.

I actually don't have too many physical things that mean a lot to me. Right now there are three that I can think of- my grandfather's WW2 Navy uniform and service knife, and my car.

I really don't have anything else that I care about in any significant way. Break my TV, wreck my bike, those are just things. Replace them and I wouldn't care. The car and the other two, they're things, but at the same time they mean a little more. What really bothers me, now that I've had some time to calm down, is that my father let her in the thing in the first place. The damage may have happened regardless, but I trusted him, and he let a known drunk driver have the keys.

Nick

I completely understand your feelings.
Its easy for people to chime in and say "just completely forgive immediately", but when you've been wronged time and time again by somebody who is suppose to care for you the most its not just that easy.
But it is just a car, try and focus on the positive like the fact that you are uninjured over there in Iraq! You can replace a car and its parts, but not your body nor its parts.
Siblings do such immature things.. trust me I know. I would hold your father accountable and have him pay for all repairs, your sister was only doing what she was allowed to get away with...

 

[docjohn]

Get home safe,it is ok to afix great importance/pleasure with a material thing such as a car if it is what makes your service bearable.You will probably not fix your sister's personality,but you can make some choices on how to deal with your family when you get home.

 

[davidf]

I think it's time you start storing your car elsewhere.

 

[nastinupe1]

I think it's time you start storing your car elsewhere.

Quote of the day LOL:biggrin:

 

[GreyHoundSteve]

Yesterday I thought someone was trying to scam me via email. Got a thing supposedly from my insurance company, saying my claim was now online.

I'm in Iraq, and expecting to be home in about three weeks. My dad has my car, and he's a better driver than I am, so I didn't think I had to worry about anything. Not that I don't worry- I've had nightmares about bad things happening to my car since I came back from leave. So, I emailed him, saying I suspected a scam, and I just wanted to check in.

Here is the summary of the response I got.

1. He let my younger sister, who I really don't like, who wrecked her first and third cars, and who has been known to drive drunk, drive my '92 Formula Red, my second most prized possession in the world, to work.

2. She started leaving the doors open after driving the car. Not just unlocked, but open.

3. Someone came by in the night and used a rock to bash a screwdriver into the ignition.

I can't think of many things, barring a death in the family, that would be worse to come home to after fourteen months overseas. At the very least, I don't think I will be speaking to my sister for, say, five years or so. Possibly to my dad, either.

Just venting, I guess, but I'm incredibly angry right now. I figure posting here is better than tossing grenades in random directions.

Nick

Toss the grenades, you'll feel better.

On a serous note though, i would talk to your dad about lending out your car without permission to someone irresponsible. Thats not cool at all and i'd also inform your sister that regardless of what your dad says, its YOUR car and she is responsible to you for the damage. Make her make it right with you and i'm sure she will learn her lesson. Kids these days have no respect for other peoples things.

 

[SWIFTVISION]

Nothing says "don't do that again" then looking down the barrel of a M4.

 

[NSSEX91]

I had the same exact issue when I was in Iraq. My sisters boyfriend burnt the clutch whne joyriding (witnesses told me) She is also irresponsible and causes problems at my expense as history has shown.

The bottom line is they will always have an excuse. its never there fault so the best thing to do is tell them exactly how you feel and not to make any stupid excuses. THEN take it as a lesson learned and don't hand anybody the keys next time. Infact, I had to sell my NSX for that reason. Anything else is just setting yourself up for failure. I won't buy another NSX until I have my own house with garage.

Bottom line is if the car is consuming your life, get rid of it. Poeple should own cars. not the other way around.

 

[davidf]

There is no excuse for being so far away for your country and someone else driving your car.

 

[Hasdrubal]

Wow, I wasn't really prepared for this level of response. Or to see so much well-considered advice. Or to see so many people who actually appreciate the Army (I've lived in Seattle too long, lousy hippies).

I need to have a long talk with my parents and my sister (good advice from a few people), and find better arrangements to store my car in the future (more good advice), and get a house with a garage (good advice, but I've been planning this one for a while already).

Right now I'm not angry anymore. Truth be told, if my sister hadn't left the car open, I would probably be looking at a broken window on top of the rest... but it's not really about that.

As the anger faded, I realized that I was more sad than anything, that I thought I could trust my family and found out that I couldn't. Whether it's a car or anything else (it's just a car, more good advice), if someone close to you says they will do something for you and then basically gives you the finger once you're out of sight, it's a pretty sad thing. Almost makes me feel lonely.

Still, thanks to everyone. Wrote to Zahntech (which I discovered thanks to Prime), and it looks like the car will be fixed before I even get home. I hope I get to meet some of you at NSXpo this year. This really is a great community.

Nick

 

[TURBO2GO]

A wise man once told me that there is nothing more insane than being at odds with what there is. Being angry is exactly that. Being at odds, with what there already is. Being at odds with reality.

I think that being there and in the army, there is plenty to see and be angry about. But a soldier is rightly taught not to look at things and see problems. He is taught to see situations. Then to deal with them accordingly.

If your fellow soldier is shot, do you get caught up in anger or sit and scream about a problem? At that moment, your mind focuses and simply sees a situation. One that requires immediate attention. You do what needs to be done and in there, there is no room for anger. Anger only takes away your energy and your focus.

Don't let your mind run away with stories about how your sister has been throughout her life and how your dad should have acted. Focus on what there is. See the task at hand. There is no anger in that. Remember to always stay HERE, not let your mind go elsewhere. When you do that, you have gone beyond what most ordinary people are capable of doing.

I hope this makes some amount of sense. I have a feeling that if your Grandpa was here, this is what he would be telling you.

 

[nsxotic911]

Ha! I'd be pissed if my family member did this, especially if they had a history of being irrresponsible. They need to be "sat out" to realize their error.

I say be mad, get the car to a safe place and hopefully they will realize they are wrong and repent from it. If they do not, then you can decide what you will do but I would not take the issue lightly...

At least for me.. there is a line that if you cross, my relationship with you is done, regardless of who you are, whether family or not. That line is hurting my family and intentionally or irresponsibly insulting a certain something that is vitally important to me. EG: NSX, faith, respect.

 

[SMYLDOC]

Nick

All the above posts have said it all

I have been out of the service since 89, but as a West Point grad and former Airborne / Ranger, I understand and appreciate your service to our country.

Like Brent from Euless, TX, send me a PM and I'm good for $100.00 to the repairs, as long as you consider forgiving your sister and Dad as I am sure you have seen first hand there in Iraq, that life is just too short.

Be safe and God's speed to you.