? for you married guys

[Vega$ NSX]

A clueless work obsessed engineer came home one day to an empty house and saw a note on the refrigerator from his wife that read, "THIS ISN'T WORKING ANYMORE! I'll be at my mothers." The engineer open the fridge, pulled out an ice cold beer and slumped on his couch. He then called his soon to be ex-wife on her phone. When she answered, he said, "I don't know what you are talking about, the fridge is working fine. When are you coming home from your mothers?"

 

[CL65 Captain]

How do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat?

She fits into your wife's clothes.

 

[peiserg]

How do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat?

She fits into your wife's clothes.

Lol

 

[1K2GO]

Heard of the new Playboy magazine for married men?
.
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.
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...Same centerfold every issue...

 

[robr]

How do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat?

She fits into your wife's clothes.

Thief! I posted that in the joke thread

 

[Mac Attack]

Is marriage basically a longer version of a long term relationship? By long term I mean years.

Interesting thread and responses.

I think it primarily depends on your religious beliefs. Most religions are pretty strict on marriage and what it means. If you're not religious or your religion doesn't have those restrictions, then there really isn't another reason IMO to get married in today's society.

Family pressure, societal pressure (to a lessening degree), or benefits (tax, health, etc), are all other potential reasons to get married. I personally don't agree with those reasons though... just the religious beliefs one.

Met my wife 12 years ago and we've been very happily married for 11 years. It's been some work though. We both admit that if one of us goes early, we probably won't re-marry :smile:

Dave

 

[Ritesh]

Great thread Dave. I will try to post a detailed reply when I have time.

IMHO: There are 2 things that make your Life Great or Miserable. Your career choice and who you Marry. There is a big difference between a Job and a career and likewise a huge difference between having a BF/GF and a spouse. A great spouse can make your life wonderful while a miserable one can absolutely destroy your soul and future. So pick wisely.

I have been married for 18 years, we have 2 wonderful kids together and honestly don't know if I could live without them. I repeat them - because its not just me and my wife but the 2 kids that we brought into this world. We have had our share of ups and downs but we made a committment to each other a long time ago.

 

[Carguy!]

I am coming up on my 23 year anniversary and I couldn't imagine not being married, I now have been married for half of my life. I Love her more now than I did then. When we were first married I lost my job and she supported me for almost a year. When things turned around she was able to quit her job when she was pregnant with our first child (now 17 years old). We have two beautiful daughters which are my world and I couldn't imagine life without them.

Some advice: If possible wait until having kids, make sure the relationship is solid and you have a chance to travel and see the world beforehand. Allow your spouse to have their own life and do things without you, it is great if you both have hobbies on your own.

My parents have been married 51 years and are still very happy together, I think it helps when you are exposed to a great relationship from an early age.

If you marry the right girl it is the best thing in life, if you pick the wrong one it will be the opposite!

 

[TURBO2GO]

Carguy so you are 46? The thing is 23 is pretty young to be married. So the question is, how much of a single life did you know? What I'm saying is I am a happy guy right now. They say if it ain't broke, don't fix it. But I'm in my 40s and I don't want to do or not do something I may regret.

 

[SilverStone05]

IMHO: There are 2 things that make your Life Great or Miserable. Your career choice and who you Marry. There is a big difference between a Job and a career and likewise a huge difference between having a BF/GF and a spouse. A great spouse can make your life wonderful while a miserable one can absolutely destroy your soul and future. So pick wisely.

I couldn't have written that any better. From what I've seen folks that don't take the choice of picking a spouse seriously typically end up miserable. Then those around them are also stuck with the consequences of that person(s) irresponsible decision(s). Especially if kids are involved. It is sad and happens way too often these days. Our kids are bearing the brunt of it and it truly shows.

Picking a spouse is THE most important decision most will ever make. Choose wisely and for non selfish reasons. Don't marry someone because they have something you want. Marry someone because you respect who they are. Everything else beyond that is just icing on the cake. Build the life you want- and THEN find someone to share it with.

Never thought I'd get married but then found an honest, hardworking, friendly and humble woman that I couldn't stand the thought of living without. We've been together for 6 years and just had our 1 year anniversary this summer.

I am truly blessed. Sorry for the sappy crap but I consider myself ridiculously lucky...especially given the behavior of females I see around these days.

 

[Carguy!]

Carguy so you are 46? The thing is 23 is pretty young to be married. So the question is, how much of a single life did you know? What I'm saying is I am a happy guy right now. They say if it ain't broke, don't fix it. But I'm in my 40s and I don't want to do or not do something I may regret.

Yes I am 46 years old, 23 is young for some but I feel I was mature enough to know what I wanted and had previous relationships that let me know what I didn't want. If you find the right girl hopefully you will know and if you don't find that girl you won't settle for less.

Good Luck!

 

[Mike-san]

Y'know what they say about driving fast "It's not the speed that kills you, it's the sudden stop !" Well, I kind of have a similar attitude about marriage...."The marriage part isn't harmful, but the divorce is !"

 

[SarcasticaLy]

Wow, from sappy to happy to heartbreaking tearjerker. Crazy thread. These are the convos I live for. Sad, I know.

Im a 31 yr old asian male. Im not religious but was raised around Buddhism. Youngest of 8 but age gap between me and the next up is 19 years so, as you can imagine, my neices and nephews are my age so I kinda raised myself because my parents were elderly and my siblings only took care of me when they could - which led me to live my life on a whim. Joined the Navy just cuz my friend asked me to. Moved to Arizona for automotive school just cuz my friend asked me too. Im far from a wild child but I did everything and anything I wanted to do.

Having said all that, I married during the Navy (age 20) cuz I thought I could save her. Failed miserably (both our faults). Easy divorce. Both had nothing. She ran off so I had to go to court by myself and a few hundred bucks later, it was done.

I met my now-wife in 2003 and when I went to Arizona for school in 2005, I cheated on her and DESTROYED her, her faith in me, her faith in love, etc. I fought my way back though because I knew my messed up bad and I knew what I had in her. We had our ups and downs throughout the years cuz of random reminders of my fuck-up but we get past it and are now incredibly strong. If I didnt think she was worth it, I coulda just walked away and cut my losses. My close friend saw the torment, guilt, anguish, etc., etc., ETC., that I was going through and one thing she said to me that still rings true today is "just because you messed up, it doesnt mean you dont deserve to be happy." WHOOOOAAAA!!! But again, I kept fighting.

We married last year and she really is the love of my life. We're expecting a baby girl ANY day now. Due date is Oct 5th. I cant imagine my life without her. The year that we were engaged, I was having my own version of cold feet, internally. Asking myself if its the right decision. All my teen/adult life, I was rarely ever single so I questioned whether it was just feeding that or if it was true. I dont have the answer and I probably never will but it doesnt matter. All the other posts here say it all. Compromise, laugh together, understand each other and you just gotta love being with one another. Once the sex wears out (which it will, unless you plan on using viagra in a rocking chair), you wanna be happy, TRULY happy sitting on rocking chairs side by side and laughing with one another.

I cant wait to see what life holds for us. We just got married August 18th, 2012 so we got a LONG way to go to compare stories with most everyone else on here but Im confident. I dont care about the paper that says we're married either but its the symbolism of it. I dont know if she'll ever believe me or understand but Im glad I got my slutty days out of the way (not saying that temptation will no longer affect me the rest of my life) because it was the biggest mistake yet the best mistake of my life. Its good that it happened so I could put things into perspective and to build character in myself. I dont mean to say that it was necessary in my journey but it was a "good" thing.

Her and I are the last generation of our families to be old fashioned so she does the little things I value. Im not sexist or anything but she cooks and cleans and does EVERYTHING a guy could ask for. Im a scrawny guy so she tries to always make sure Im fed. Little things are so trivial yet so volitale....so....huge. She stood by me as I went through all my cars and motorcycles and never said anything. She let me be me. Its crazy. Im extremely fortunate. To me, the ULTIMATE goal is to have someone walking beside you throughout life and to have life beyond your own (kids). Im INCREDIBLY anxious for my daughter to arrive. Ive tried to preach to my wife the idea of simplicity. Like not nagging when im watching football, making me a sandwich when im hungry, ya kno, the important stuff, hahahaha, jk. No but I do harp on simplicity. Dont cause undue stress for no reason. Dont complain if you're not gonna do anything about it. It seems to be working. Even when she DOES nag or gets upset, its because I was being an idiot or (after investigation) she is just wanting some affection.

All my male coworkers say all the stereotypical things about a nagging wife, "its cheaper to keep her", life is over, blah blah blah. Im not sure if its the typical white guy thing or what but damn, that shit is DEPRESSING. Who the f*CK did you MARRY MAN!?!? Lol. They make it sound like they were in an arranged marriage or something. WTH. You gotta understand what you're getting into...at LEAST try to get a CLUE on who she is before you slipping the ring on her finger.

It all depends on the lifestyle. Ive always been independent but Im not popular enough or outgoing enough to have a big circle of friends to occupy myself enough to be single forever. It seems depressing and empty (no offence to you single guys). I could go on forever.

Here's our wedding highlight video for anyone who cares. Our vows are played over half, if not most, of the clip. I have to admit I was pretty proud of mine and I try to live by it as much as I can. And yes, I WOULD change her diaper.

http://youtu.be/W4DlnabC09E

or if that doesnt work, http://vimeo.com/56706999

 

[Mike-san]

Having said all that, I married during the Navy (age 20) cuz I thought I could save her. Failed miserably (both our faults). Easy divorce. Both had nothing. She ran off so I had to go to court by myself and a few hundred bucks later, it was done.

All my male coworkers say all the stereotypical things about a nagging wife, "its cheaper to keep her", life is over, blah blah blah. Im not sure if its the typical white guy thing or what but damn, that shit is DEPRESSING. Who the f*CK did you MARRY MAN!?!? Lol. They make it sound like they were in an arranged marriage or something. WTH. You gotta understand what you're getting into...at LEAST try to get a CLUE on who she is before you slipping the ring on her finger.
QUOTE]

Dude, I'm happy for you, but aren't you kind of contradicting yourself here ? It happens to the best of us

 

[SarcasticaLy]

Hahaha, touche. I married the first one for the wrong reason. I wasnt in it to MARRY marry. My metality was that if it worked out to be a full blown everlasting marriage then great, but it was to get her out of her situation and being her boyfriend (and being young and dumb), I was in captain-save-a-chick mode. It was just a bad situation all around.

 

[nsxotic911]

Thing is, I have always watched people get married for the wrong reasons, and they have a certain level of immaturity. I have been immature too, but at least I knew that I was immature. My life is pretty different now, specifically over the last few years. I've seen guys get married for fear of being alone (which isn't a reason), for believe it or not sex (which isn't a reason) and last, for "being in love" (which to me is also not a reason as those emotions can change). I think the reason you should get married should be for no othe reason than the fact that you just like the idea, the concept of marriage. That way you don't go in with a bunch of unreasonable expectations and have it fail.

Regarding kids I always thought I didn't want to be involved in raising kids because it's hell. Those sleepless nights when they are young, then taking them to this and to that, worrying about them, etc. After being a big brother I realized it all goes by so fast!! This kid was 7 when I got him and now is 15. 8 years flew by and he is not really a kid anymore. So maybe I made too big a deal out of it. And IF you want a kid, they would do better having a mom around. I don't know about this whole "find the right woman" thing because I have met and dated more than one woman who I thought would be "right". Right just means a compassionate, giving, compromising, and honest person. There are a lot of women around that have that. The rest you have to put in. I just have low and reasonable expectations I guess. I don't expect the woman to "make me happy" that is a huge burden to place on someone else and I don't want a woman who expects me to always make her happy. Happiness comes from inside you not from someone else.

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This is rare but pretty cool.

I find a lot of wisdom in this. Kudos, and carry on.

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I couldn't have written that any better. From what I've seen folks that don't take the choice of picking a spouse seriously typically end up miserable. Then those around them are also stuck with the consequences of that person(s) irresponsible decision(s). Especially if kids are involved. It is sad and happens way too often these days. Our kids are bearing the brunt of it and it truly shows.

Picking a spouse is THE most important decision most will ever make. Choose wisely and for non selfish reasons. Don't marry someone because they have something you want. Marry someone because you respect who they are. Everything else beyond that is just icing on the cake. Build the life you want- and THEN find someone to share it with.

Never thought I'd get married but then found an honest, hardworking, friendly and humble woman that I couldn't stand the thought of living without. We've been together for 6 years and just had our 1 year anniversary this summer.

I am truly blessed. Sorry for the sappy crap but I consider myself ridiculously lucky...especially given the behavior of females I see around these days.

View attachment 106039

The naturally "successful" and "super happy" marriages I've seen are those where both parties are bat shit crazy about each other. They think, believe, know they have something SUPER SPECIAL. Not all succesful marriages need this requirement, but those that have it, seem to be much more natural.

Kudos to SilverStone for finding that.

 

[NSX3tek]

Buying an NSX is exactly like marriage.

You waited for the right time to buy one-you're ready to commit.
It's a long, fun, and tedious adventure.
You scour all sorts of car classifieds (fill in your source/dating websites...), flying to unknown territory just to check her/him out.

If you find the right one, it will bring you years of joy.
If you find one that needs a little work, that can be a journey in itself.
If you found the wrong one with nagging issues, dump it before it'll suck you (financially, emotionally, psychologically) dry.

And the all time NSX Prime favorite: if you found the right one, "drive it"! You're not going to save her for the next guy, are you???:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:

 

[Yinzer]

Buying an NSX is exactly like marriage.

Too funny - telling her this might go over as well as giving her a dozen oil filters (even if they were 15400-PL2-004's), but something along these lines definitely hit me a few months ago. My NSX took me a while to find and was the most expensive car I've ever purchased by a factor of almost 2. It's the highest monthly loan payment I've ever had and it's the first 72 month car loan I've "committed to" by financing 1/2 with that merry matchmaker Penfed. In the past I always hated making any $300+ monthly payments for any DD that I didn't buy outright w/cash. Yet I honestly feel good making the monthly NSX payment. I was thinking that's what can happen when you're patient but diligent, you stay true to the cause, you wait to commit until the timing in your life is right and you have zero doubt that the car is 100% the right one. I mean girl. Follows along with:

The naturally "successful" and "super happy" marriages I've seen are those where both parties are bat shit crazy about each other. They think, believe, know they have something SUPER SPECIAL. Not all succesful marriages need this requirement, but those that have it, seem to be much more natural.

I've seen the above in others and agree 100% with this too. Lucky are those who find this, and worthwhile it is to seek this.

 

[Vega$ NSX]

Buying an NSX is exactly like marriage.

You waited for the right time to buy one-you're ready to commit.
It's a long, fun, and tedious adventure.
You scour all sorts of car classifieds (fill in your source/dating websites...), flying to unknown territory just to check her/him out.

If you find the right one, it will bring you years of joy.
If you find one that needs a little work, that can be a journey in itself.
If you found the wrong one with nagging issues, dump it before it'll suck you (financially, emotionally, psychologically) dry.

And the all time NSX Prime favorite: if you found the right one, "drive it"! You're not going to save her for the next guy, are you???:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:

Or if you are like me, spending tons of money modifying the hell out of it with aftermarket parts. Bigger is better!

 

[Yinzer]

(prior post deleted)
Fixed by the Good Taste police, lol.

 

[TURBO2GO]

^^ lol

 

[Yinzer]

As a not-yet-married guy myself, I enjoyed this thread and was bummed to see it stall.

Stumbled upon an article online recently that talks about married vs. single life and how to try to have the best of both worlds. Entertainingly echoes a lot of the wisdom I've gained over the years, some thru my own experiences but most thru the wisdom of friends who have absolutely stellar marriages or who've been divorced and got it really right the 2nd time. Or 3rd.

http://www.esquire.com/women/advice-98-year-old

Lotta good points mentioned there I think!

 

[NetViper]

I don't know why you would take marriage advice from a 98 year old that was married 3 times and cheated in her husbands. Pretty much the worst person to learn from. She sounds like a slut.

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Or if you are like me, spending tons of money modifying the hell out of it with aftermarket parts. Bigger is better!

Wait are you talking about your car or your wife? :wink:

 

[Yinzer]

Are you kidding? I think some of the best advice can come from those who've "failed."

I enjoyed that bit for similar reasons why I enjoy NSXprime so much. Lots of personalities completely different from me and fun things to read about that wouldn't work for my personal taste (hellaflush, aggressive lowered suspension, FI, double DIN mods, etc), but in the big picture we all connect with a common interest in the NSX. For some reason I looked past her pretty crooked path (that I'd not condone either) and sensed some bigger picture longing for how to pick and keep something lasting and fulfilling that was expressed in an entertaining way... She gave some gems of wisdom similar to what I've picked up on from friends and relatives' marriages where it seems like they're having even more fun than when they were single; find someone w/whom you have common interests and can keep growing with. Keep things exciting & spontaneous, and don't drift away. Don't be selfish and do compromise when it's important to do so. Make sure you pick someone you're attracted to and physically compatible with...I've seen two friends' marriages go down the tubes for that very reason. Wish I had my $750+ back that I invested participating in one of those weddings and pre-festivities even though I new there was a 99% chance of failure from the get-go! That would buy an awful nice 2004-05 shift knob and new tires

Oh well enough Sensitive Man stuff for tonight. I think I'll go pound some nails into wood and shave with a straight razor before bed now.

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She sounds like a slut.

Can't disagree that fooling around with others' husbands is pretty awful stuff.

 

[Aluminsx]

I read the interview with the 98 year old woman. She had some good points. She does come from a different time though where you didn't usually sleep with the person before marriage. That would explain why she said she was totally sexually incompatible with her second husband. It is important. My wife and I have been married going on nine years and together for almost 17. We have our ups and downs but I still feel the electricity in my heart for her. I think that's the trick to a successful relationship. If you don' feel it with a person you never will.