Boy's First Condom.....
I recall my first time with a condom. I was 14. I went in to buy a pack of condoms at a nearby pharmacy. In those days it took a lot of guts to go into a store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and there was no doubt the young lady clerk ( i think her name was Nola) knew what they were for.
She was working as an assistant behind the counter, and she could see I was really embarrassed by the whole procedure. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.
I honestly answered, "No, not really."
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure.
I apparently still looked confused, So, she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was. "Just a minute," she said and walked me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. she unhooked her bra and laid it aside. "Do these excite you?" She asked :drool:
Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was stand there with my mouth open, and nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. "Well, come on," she said, "we don't have much time".
So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that, unfortunately I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few monents.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown. "Did you put that condom on?" she asked. I said, "sure did," and held up my thumb to show her.
Then she beat the shit out of me.....
Women have always been hard for me to figure out......
- - - Updated - - -
Grandma is 88 years old and still drives her own car. She writes:
Dear Grand-daughter,
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker ..
I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed.
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.
I found that lots of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!'
'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'
(What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!)
Everyone started honking!
I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a 'sunny beach'.
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.
He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.
My grandson burst out laughing.
(he was enjoying this religious experience!!)
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.
So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.
So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!
Will write again soon,
Love, Grandma
.
