Place this under the heading, "Am I raising my kids correctly: a study in thinking on

Speedmaster · 20 February 2016

Place this under the heading, "Am I raising my kids correctly: a study in thinking on

your feet"

I should preface this by saying that I enjoy the canvasser calls (i.e. pollsters, telemarketers, etc.) - I call it making a new friend for the day.

So, I get a call this morning from what started out as a telemarketer but turned into a clear "phishing scam". Guy claimed he was with my IT department, that my machine was downloading a powerful virus and he wanted me to manipulate my keyboard to allow him access.

I went along with the ruse, messed around with him a bit, and ultimately hung up with both of us agreed that we could take the call no further.

I relayed this to my daughters this morning over breakfast. I explained that it was the caller's job to separate me from information and whatever that implied and it was my job to make him earn it (i.e. work to extract whatever information he could get.) I relayed that I had some fun with it even to the point of doing a who's on first routine between he and his supervisor as I went from English to Greek to Spanish. Hilarious.

Well, this led to a spirited discussion around how my girls would handle the call. Creative ideas flowed and they are now upstairs putting together their respective scripts. They are looking forward to the call back (that I am sure to get.)

Now, am I teaching them too much cynicism? I like to think I am teaching the critical thinking skills.

docjohn · 20 February 2016

I always discuss and educate my boys about crooks and scams ,and being cautious around strangers.The internet is a cesspool.

steveny · 20 February 2016

I met someone while walking in the park a few years ago. We've since become friends. It wasn't what he said but how he said it that made me take a step back and really think about what he had said. They way he spoke and looked at me. His words were.. unless you have enough money to protect your children forever you MUST be certain they can protect themselves. It's essential that they know there are people in this world that don't have their best interests in mind. We've had some very deep conversations. He's a very bright individual, a professional at the top of his field. He then shared with me the story of his daughter and how she was murdered by someone she trusted and who had fooled her. This persons intentions were bad from day one. This was a case of human trafficking and it sent this family into a horrific period of time while they searched for their daughter and answers about what happened. They only found parts of each. :frown:

docjohn · 20 February 2016

crimes of the heart are the most insidious..once your trust is given it is left to the integrity of the receiver of that trust.How many people have we known in our own lives that love or care for a obvious questionable or shady character...It is my duty as a parent to teach my children how to vet those they meet and have relationships with as they become more independent.

Speedmaster · 20 February 2016

Quick update.

So daughter fields the next call and spends a few awkward minutes goofing around in spanish and then hangs up.

Phone rings again, my younger daughter picks it up. I heard, "No, no, no, no." Then she hangs up. I ask her why she didn't goof around with the phishing scammer and she said the person asked for me by name, if she was my daughter, was I home and if he could speak with me.

It was a buddy of mine calling.

We all had a great laugh at that.

Hey, Steveny...that is a horrible situation and I am sorry to read that. Pretty dark stuff. I don't discuss that sort of thing with my kids. But, I do ask them to consider situations and to be alert. I won't get them where I would ideally like them to be, but I try to get them to be thoughtful. I don't believe anything I can teach them will prepare them for what your friend had to endure. Very sorry to read that.

Hass · 21 February 2016

I think it's a great idea to educate the elderly about scams, they are the most targeted group.

FF Drifter · 22 February 2016

Speedmaster said:
Now, am I teaching them too much cynicism? I like to think I am teaching the critical thinking skills.

I think these go hand-in-hand. I don't know about 'the right age' to be teaching this kind of thing, but it will have to be taught -- or learned the hard way -- eventually.

Miner · 23 February 2016

Having 2 young daughters and almost 50 years of sometimes not-so-nice experiences, my primary goal is to teach them to live without me, and to make good choices. Causes disagreements to no end with my wife, but I believe we fail as parents when we don't teach our kids to think and function by themselves.

Speedmaster · 23 February 2016

Miner said:
Having 2 young daughters and almost 50 years of sometimes not-so-nice experiences, my primary goal is to teach them to live without me, and to make good choices. Causes disagreements to no end with my wife, but I believe we fail as parents when we don't teach our kids to think and function by themselves.

I like how you think, Miner. If you had a newsletter, I would subscribe.

steveny · 24 February 2016

Miner said:
Having 2 young daughters and almost 50 years of sometimes not-so-nice experiences, my primary goal is to teach them to live without me, and to make good choices. Causes disagreements to no end with my wife, but I believe we fail as parents when we don't teach our kids to think and function by themselves.

My mother didn't censor anything for me and I think I turned out ok. There was no "off limit topics". Very open environment which was calming and comfortable. Seems like everyone wanted to hang out at my moms place because of it. Even so it wasn't out of control, we all self monitored out of respect for the freedom we had. Even though there were no set boundaries we knew the limits. I don't censor anything with my girls either. The world I live in is exactly the same as the one they live in and will have to continue to live in once I'm gone. The sooner I know "they've got this" the better.

I think one of the best things you can do for your kids is to explore what type of education or teaching style best suits their learning style, even life style. I just moved my girls to a private school. I'm just blown away by the changes I've seen since enrolling them. Everyone learns differently, that's for sure. Not everyone wants to be molded into a worker bee.

Speedmaster · 24 February 2016

steveny said:
My mother didn't censor anything for me and I think I turned out ok. There was no "off limit topics". Very open environment which was calming and comfortable. Seems like everyone wanted to hang out at my moms place because of it. Even so it wasn't out of control, we all self monitored out of respect for the freedom we had. Even though there were no set boundaries we knew the limits. I don't censor anything with my girls either. The world I live in is exactly the same as the one they live in and will have to continue to live in once I'm gone. The sooner I know "they've got this" the better.

I think one of the best things you can do for your kids is to explore what type of education or teaching style best suits their learning style, even life style. I just moved my girls to a private school. I'm just blown away by the changes I've seen since enrolling them. Everyone learns differently, that's for sure. Not everyone wants to be molded into a worker bee.

Good thoughts, Steveny. My kids are in a magnet school now (public) but I wonder what a private education would afford them as they move through the grades. Regarding conversations, we openly discuss things and we are sensitive not to put our label on situations (i.e. we don't recoil on topics that we disagree with, etc.)

Time will tell if we have it right.

Miner · 25 February 2016

Speedmaster said:
I like how you think, Miner. If you had a newsletter, I would subscribe.

Thanks. But I'm way too boring.

steveny · 25 February 2016

Speedmaster said:
Good thoughts, Steveny. My kids are in a magnet school now (public) but I wonder what a private education would afford them as they move through the grades. Regarding conversations, we openly discuss things and we are sensitive not to put our label on situations (i.e. we don't recoil on topics that we disagree with, etc.)

Time will tell if we have it right.

You'll know a lot more about what your kids are doing if they feel like they can openly discuss what's going on in their lives.

The private school we selected allows the choice of being involved in the school. We are invited into the classroom anytime we choose to be there, unannounced as well. I have also become a member of the school board so I can be involved on a different level about the direction of the school and how the school spends its money. The experience my wife and I have now is a complete 180 from the public school experience. At the public school the environment/atmosphere is stressed and it extends to the students. The faculty and administration at the public school talks down to the parents and students, mostly to gain control of the students and prepare them for a boss. The kids sit at desks all day to prepare them for a job.

I prefer a learning environment where the students are treated as an equal. Where the students are educated in a way where there are choices and the student feels empowered over their daily lives. Not a situation where it's all about control. As well, the group doesnt have to make concessions for a single person. The entire public school is moving at the pace of a single thought or process. As an example at the public school we were able to go in and have lunch with the kids. Another parent pointed out that they weren't so fortunate as they had a job and couldn't make it for lunch which upset their child. The public school said, no more lunch with parents. So because someone else doesn't have the opportunity to come in for lunch no one gets to do so. IMO that's just asinine thinking. Same deal with ice cream at lunch. ONE parent didn't want their child having the choice of eating what she considered "bad food". I'm thinking, well then don't give your kid any money and he/she won't be able to buy it. Nope, ice cream pulled from the lunch room. It wasn't good enough that her kid wouldn't be able to buy it. She also didn't want her kid to see other kids eating it. LO friggen L. While these may seem trivial unrelated issues, they aren't. They all have the same common denominator of control. Creative thinkers don't work well in a controlled environment.

Pick up at the end of the day was a joke. We were expected to be there a moment in time and not a window of time, 3:25 on the dot. However that didn't mean they always opened the doors at 3:25. They opened them anytime they wanted to. Remember this is NY where it rains and snows A LOT, and you need to be standing by the doors in the rain. If your late they lock you out and you have to walk around the building only to be berated by the principle. What a joke. The new school... We get a two hour window of time for pickup. If your a little late they smile and say hi.

There are a ton of other reasons. I could type all day. But the biggest issue is what I don't know. If all the issues above were enough on their own what about the things I don't know? What about the things which are happening behind closed, locked doors that I'm not allowed to open? Not knowing those issues but knowing the ones I did was enough for me.

30 field trips a year isn't too shabby either.

HDA · 25 February 2016

Being a father of a 7months old girl, this is very interesting.

I think irony always win. But you need to be smart.

I also think this sort of applies to your situation. It's a good laugh

https://www.ted.com/talks/james_veitch_this_is_what_happens_when_you_reply_to_spam_email?language=en

Speedmaster said:
your feet"

I should preface this by saying that I enjoy the canvasser calls (i.e. pollsters, telemarketers, etc.) - I call it making a new friend for the day.

So, I get a call this morning from what started out as a telemarketer but turned into a clear "phishing scam". Guy claimed he was with my IT department, that my machine was downloading a powerful virus and he wanted me to manipulate my keyboard to allow him access.

I went along with the ruse, messed around with him a bit, and ultimately hung up with both of us agreed that we could take the call no further.

I relayed this to my daughters this morning over breakfast. I explained that it was the caller's job to separate me from information and whatever that implied and it was my job to make him earn it (i.e. work to extract whatever information he could get.) I relayed that I had some fun with it even to the point of doing a who's on first routine between he and his supervisor as I went from English to Greek to Spanish. Hilarious.

Well, this led to a spirited discussion around how my girls would handle the call. Creative ideas flowed and they are now upstairs putting together their respective scripts. They are looking forward to the call back (that I am sure to get.)

Now, am I teaching them too much cynicism? I like to think I am teaching the critical thinking skills.

Speedmaster · 29 February 2016

That was a good laugh. Thanks for posting.

HDA said:
Being a father of a 7months old girl, this is very interesting.

I think irony always win. But you need to be smart.

I also think this sort of applies to your situation. It's a good laugh

https://www.ted.com/talks/james_veitch_this_is_what_happens_when_you_reply_to_spam_email?language=en

Place this under the heading, "Am I raising my kids correctly: a study in thinking on

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