Your Amusing Quotes

[Mr.Wolf]

I read this today. I laughed. Just once.


"Software is like Sex: it's better when it's free."


I encourage you gentlemen to post your own quotes. Please check your spelling, grammar and punctuation.

 

[ak]

The Nuge aka Ted Nugent once said

"You are born at point A, Your going to die at point B, kick maximum ass in the mean time, Live!"

Amusing and simple yet true.

 

[Yellow Rose]

If it looks fast on television from the onboard camera, then in reality it must be so terrifyingly fast, that your heart would jump right out of your butt if you don't pucker hard enough.

 

[steveny]

When you get to the end of your rope tie a knot and hold on.

Theodore Roosevelt.

 

[nicholas421]

"It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man."
-Jack Handy

more Deep Thoughts here http://www-personal.umd.umich.edu/~nhughes/htmldocs/deepthoughts.html

 

[red_MM_nsx]

Experience is what you get, when you didn't get what you wanted.

 

[DocL]

My favorite is from Caddyshack:

"You'll get nothing and like it!"

 

[Joel]

"Criticism is nothing more than other people's opinion."

 

[martin]

Here are my "collection"

"The day he get hit by a bus I believe in God again"
Charles Gracen from the Tvserie "Profit"

"I don't care who you use as long as it is not a bunch of muppets"
From Lock Stock and 2 smoking barrels

"..and anybody who thinks controlling people is a science, is dead wrong..it's and art"
Jim Profit aka Adrian Pasdar form Profit

"We got to get bigger guns!"
Rutger Hauer in some movie

 

[coolnsx]

Life is a shit sandwich. The trick is to take as few bites as possible!

 

[steveny]

From Call of Duty


"It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived." - General George S. Patton"


"There's a graveyard in northern France where all the dead boys from D-Day are buried. The white crosses reach from one horizon to the other. I remember looking it over and thinking it was a forest of graves. But the rows were like this, dizzying, diagonal, perfectly straight, so after all it wasn't a forest but an orchard of graves. Nothing to do with nature, unless you count human nature." - Barbara Kingsolver"


"He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, And he who has one enemy will meet him everywhere." - Ali ibn-Abi-Talib"

 

[NSX-Stalker]

I never let my schooling get in the way of my education.

Thomas Jefferson

NSX-Stalker

 

[blknsxnoc]

"You can take the man out of his NSX,
but you can't take the NSX out of the man"

-Plagiarized from someone to fit my need

 

[NetViper]

"Love your ferrari!." - Some stupid hick at the gas station today.

 

[PoohBEAR]

"You are not done until you got married, than you are FINISHED."

 

[coolnsx]

There is life after marriage.........and boy it's alot more fun and there is ALOT less explaining

 

[cmhs75]

" In this World, some peaple born are like keys that move the world and exist having no connection to the social hierarchy established by man "


if you know how sayd that, then you are Automatically my friend

 

[Autophile]

"Just because I rock doesn't mean I'm made of stone."

Jim Carrey

 

[D'Ecosse]

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy!
(Sounds even better said with a Scottish accent like mine)

I also discovered very early in my transitional process to the US, that over here -
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do!

& my wife's favourite movie quote (in addition to the one also favoured by DocL) by Clark W Griswold from Christmas Vacation -
"Eddie, I wouldn't be more surprised if I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet"

& my favourite Clark W Griswold quote, this time from European Vacation -
Flight attendant - "would you like your coke in the can?"
Clark (looking over his shoulder) - "no, I'll just drink it here"

 

[Carguy!]

"You've got to be tough when your dumb." - My Uncle Charley after his tractor ran over him.

 

[effer]

I read this today. I laughed. Just once.


"Software is like Sex: it's better when it's free."

Sex is like software: You never know when you'll get a virus.

 

[Gary W]

"Don't talk unless you can improve the silence."
Jorge Luis Borges (1899-1986); Argentine writer

 

[LJSB]

The bigger they are the harder they hit ya.

Live it up, cause once you're dead life ain't worth living.

Wherever you go, there you are.

On marraige:

I just wanted to stop having sex alone and all this stuff comes with it!

 

[SCS2k]

"Beer makes you feel like you ought to feel without beer."

William Shakespeare

 

[matteni]

"Software is like Sex: it's better when it's free."

As the 1/2 owner of a software company with free and enterprise versions - I would have said:

"Software is like Sex: You get what you pay for."