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Get Married - Yeah or Nay?

I have been married and I would...

  • ...never do it again

    Votes: 26 45.6%

  • ...only do it again with a great pre-nup

    Votes: 14 24.6%

  • ...look forward to doing it again, with the right chick

    Votes: 16 28.1%

  • ...CAN'T WAIT to do it again. Being single and 40+ sucks.

    Votes: 1 1.8%
  • Total voters
    57
Ski_Banker

Ski_Banker

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I'll keep it short 'n sweet, just like most marriages these days!

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE BEEN MARRIED:
what are your thoughts? yes, no, maybe so?



BTW, the financing the wifey operation thread made me think of this. But seriously... 9/10 married guys I know all lament "don't get married bro" and I just want the straight skinny.

Lets assume you are financially successful, so marriage would just be for personal reasons.....
 
First thing you have to ask is have you found your soul mate? If your questioning marriage then she might not be the right person. If she is your soul mate than get married you may live to be 30 or 100 if it doesn't work out life goes on. You can't plan everything trust me. By soul mate I mean.


1. Physical attraction
2. Mental stability
3. Similar beliefs
4. Family relations
5. Long term goals that you agree upon

I am sure the list goes on but if your questioning give it time.
 
Ski_Banker said:
I'll keep it short 'n sweet, just like most marriages these days!

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE BEEN MARRIED:
what are your thoughts? yes, no, maybe so?



BTW, the financing the wifey operation thread made me think of this. But seriously... 9/10 married guys I know all lament "don't get married bro" and I just want the straight skinny.

Lets assume you are financially successful, so marriage would just be for personal reasons.....
Click to expand...

If one has already married once and is financially successful, I would say just date or live together instead of getting married - unless you want kids. Even for the people have not been married before, I would say a lot of people prefer to stay single these days - for less hassle and responsibility, and more freedom.
 
I am on my second marraige (18 yrs) and will say that if it didn't work out, then never again. IMHO there is no need for marraige unless your going to have children. Since I am not planning on having anymore, then there is no need. Cohabitation is fine for me.

NSXFRIEND said:
First thing you have to ask is have you found your soul mate? If your questioning marriage then she might not be the right person. If she is your soul mate than get married you may live to be 30 or 100 if it doesn't work out life goes on. You can't plan everything trust me. By soul mate I mean.


1. Physical attraction
2. Mental stability
3. Similar beliefs
4. Family relations
5. Long term goals that you agree upon

I am sure the list goes on but if your questioning give it time.
Click to expand...

I find it interested how you listed the order. When you are young, you tend to focus on appearance, I sure did. That is why I went through my first divorce. I think for a good marraige you need to re-arrange some things here.

1. Mental stability
2. Similar beliefs
3. Family relations
4. Long term goals that you agree upon
5. Physical attraction

When you get older, the physical thing fizzles out and then all you have left is mutual respect and understanding. You want to really be best friends with your wife...
 
I had all my fun when I was younger. I can't see why anyone would get married under ~35 years old. Getting married under 35 would be like just watching one channel on the tv when you have 500 to chose from. After 40 you don't even want to look for the remote, whatever is on the tv will be just fine.
 
I'm glad "CAN'T WAIT to do it again. Being single and 40+ sucks" doesn't have any votes, cuz I'm definitely gonna be a manther when I grow up!
 
Big_D said:
I am on my second marraige (18 yrs) and will say that if it didn't work out, then never again. IMHO there is no need for marraige unless your going to have children. Since I am not planning on having anymore, then there is no need. Cohabitation is fine for me.



I find it interested how you listed the order. When you are young, you tend to focus on appearance, I sure did. That is why I went through my first divorce. I think for a good marraige you need to re-arrange some things here.

1. Mental stability
2. Similar beliefs
3. Family relations
4. Long term goals that you agree upon
5. Physical attraction

When you get older, the physical thing fizzles out and then all you have left is mutual respect and understanding. You want to really be best friends with your wife...
Click to expand...

Yeh I agree with your mental stability is good. lol The list was in particular order just some hey points. :) Just thought of something eles don't wait to have kids to long, they are supposed to provide pheliopiety and care when you are elderly.
 
I personally think marriage is a great thing. I was nervous about it for the longest time. But now, I it's the best thing that could ever happend to me.
There is one question you must ask before marriage. It's not can I live with that person? It's can I live without that person?

Now the next big step for me is having kids. To be honest, I'm pretty nervous about this.
 
Marriage to the right person is Heaven, Marriage to the wrong person is a living Hell. (been in Hell twice- not fun)
What I've learned is simply, you MUST ask her what are the 3 or 4 most important things in her life, the answer should be VERY close to yours. It's not just what you have in common that's important, it's what's most important to you, that is. My Ex and I had lots of things in common but not the most important things. I didn't see that until it was too late.
Good luck and be VERY careful.
 
steveny said:
I had all my fun when I was younger. I can't see why anyone would get married under ~35 years old. Getting married under 35 would be like just watching one channel on the tv when you have 500 to chose from. After 40 you don't even want to look for the remote, whatever is on the tv will be just fine.
Click to expand...

How old is your wife again? :) Or are you just saying that men shouldn't get married until 35 :).

PS, I was married 3 weeks before I turned.........35.
 
I'd have to say that the most important aspect of my marriage (other than mutual love) is that husband and wife agree upon their roles in the relationship (whatever those roles may be).

For example, my wife and I agree that the husband is the head of the household. Now, she DOES get feisty from time to time, but then again, she LOVES it when I put my foot down, so it works out.

Anyway... remember: if each person's first priority in the relationship is to take proper care of the other person, look out for the partner's benefit, and be willing to put self last, then the major issues should mostly go pretty smoothly, as his needs will be met by her, and hers by him (two way street).
 
Both my birth mother and birth father have been married three times each. After growing up like that I honestly didn't think I would get married.

However, my wife and I recently celebrated 5 very good years together and while it's not always a bed of roses it is honestly the best decision I've ever made.

We've struggled with personal loss, personal health issues, sickness and death in the family, financial stress, buying and selling homes, moving jobs, and bringing a dog into our lives. And through it all, I'm not only a better man because of my marriage but my life is so much better for it.

Call me lame but I love my wife and am truly grateful for my marriage. And no... she doesn't read this forum.
 
It depends. Do you want to be "the old guy at the club"? :wink: If yes, then don't get married. :smile:
 
In today's society, the guy gets screwed in a divorce proceeding....There is no advantage for a man to be married. Certain laws need to be changed. If you want to get married because you want kids, that is the wrong reason to get married....if the woman couldn't conceive, would you want a divorce ? If yes, then she married an A-Hole. Kids should be an augmentation to a good marriage, not a reason to get married in the first place. In other words, think about your partner 1st. I guess that marriage could be an option if the person was so wonderful to you, and you knew that being married was really important to her (maybe she has strong religious beliefs or something), that you wanted to show your gratitude by conceeding to her wishes...
 
Deltron Zero said:
I think the preferred term is 'manther'
Click to expand...


LoL- seriously, people are looking into my office. :biggrin:

I have heard of "Cougers", but never "Manthers" although I think I might know a few...


Chris Rock said:
He ain't old, just a little too old to be in the club...
Click to expand...

At 32, sometimes I feel like that guy. Glad to be shacked up for now I suppose. :wink:

P
 
Mike-san said:
In today's society, the guy gets screwed in a divorce proceeding....There is no advantage for a man to be married. Certain laws need to be changed. If you want to get married because you want kids, that is the wrong reason to get married....if the woman couldn't conceive, would you want a divorce ? If yes, then she married an A-Hole. Kids should be an augmentation to a good marriage, not a reason to get married in the first place. In other words, think about your partner 1st. I guess that marriage could be an option if the person was so wonderful to you, and you knew that being married was really important to her (maybe she has strong religious beliefs or something), that you wanted to show your gratitude by conceeding to her wishes...
Click to expand...

If devorce settlements are on your mind prior to marriage, then you shouldn't be getting married.

The way I look at it is this: would you stay married to her NO MATTER WHAT? If yes, then go for it (it's not going to be all smooth and happy, but can be 100% worthwhile 100% of the time).
 
Big_D said:
I am on my second marraige (18 yrs) and will say that if it didn't work out, then never again. IMHO there is no need for marraige unless your going to have children. Since I am not planning on having anymore, then there is no need. Cohabitation is fine for me.



I find it interested how you listed the order. When you are young, you tend to focus on appearance, I sure did. That is why I went through my first divorce. I think for a good marraige you need to re-arrange some things here.

1. Mental stability
2. Similar beliefs
3. Family relations
4. Long term goals that you agree upon
5. Physical attraction

When you get older, the physical thing fizzles out and then all you have left is mutual respect and understanding. You want to really be best friends with your wife...
Click to expand...


Being a female, I concur what Big_D wrote here with respect to the order of importances for a successful marriage. I am surprised that there are so many guys here do not want to get marry
 
Being a pediatrician, I have seen many of my little patients suffer emotionally from the divorce of their parents. So if your only purpose to get married is to have kid, then just don't do it because the person whoever has this kind of mentality has no basic understanding of the foundation of marriage is and the meaning of it. You want to get marry is because you cannot live without that person you choose to marry. He or she should be the priority in your life. A piece of paper of marriage certificate cannot provide the stability and security a kid is deserved if the parents are married for the wrong purpose. It is just my two cents.
 
Interesting (and timely) thread. Maybe this is not the place for it, but I have to ask "Why should I get married?"

I ask the question honestly. I am 32, found a wonderful woman that I can see myself with for the rest of my life. I still have absolutely no desire to get married. Fear? Maybe. I can see a lot of potential reasons NOT to get married but I can't see any TO get married aside from making her happy. I don't want kids, I am not active in a church, etc. I seem to be missing that connection between 'love' and 'marriage' for reasons I can't quite figure out.

Why did some of the rest of you WANT to or why DID you get married?
 
MJK said:
Interesting (and timely) thread. Maybe this is not the place for it, but I have to ask "Why should I get married?"

I ask the question honestly. I am 32, found a wonderful woman that I can see myself with for the rest of my life. I still have absolutely no desire to get married. Fear? Maybe. I can see a lot of potential reasons NOT to get married but I can't see any TO get married aside from making her happy. I don't want kids, I am not active in a church, etc. I seem to be missing that connection between 'love' and 'marriage' for reasons I can't quite figure out.

Why did some of the rest of you WANT to or why DID you get married?
Click to expand...

I'm in the same boat as you. I also think there is no reason for marriage. Why do people get married? Because their parents got married and their parents got married (also why most people are the religion they are). Because society says it's what you are supposed to do. I honestly don't think I need to bring the law or a written contract into my relationship. I think that if my girlfriend really wanted to get married, we would do it 'off paper'.
 
MJK said:
Interesting (and timely) thread. Maybe this is not the place for it, but I have to ask "Why should I get married?"

I ask the question honestly. I am 32, found a wonderful woman that I can see myself with for the rest of my life. I still have absolutely no desire to get married. Fear? Maybe. I can see a lot of potential reasons NOT to get married but I can't see any TO get married aside from making her happy. I don't want kids, I am not active in a church, etc. I seem to be missing that connection between 'love' and 'marriage' for reasons I can't quite figure out.

Why did some of the rest of you WANT to or why DID you get married?
Click to expand...

'love' and 'marriage' ....Reminds me of the beginning song for a Married with Children episode.:smile:


What can I say, I fell in love and married at 26. Back then, it seemed that was the right thing to do. All my friends were getting married also. Times were different then. I didn't really want kids, but she wanted four :eek: We have 3 :smile: :smile: :smile: daughters that I am very proud of. :biggrin: I had no idea how cool parenting is, so it worked out for me.
 
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