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New California Drivers Lic Test 2005

Joined
14 March 2005
Messages
78
Location
CA BAY AREA
This is a new Driving Exam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are
unique to California, you may not have realized that the California
Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special Application and
driver's test solely for the California area.

2005 CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION

Name: ___________________ Stage Name: __________________
Agent: ___________________ Attorney: ____________________
Therapist's Name: _________________

Sex: [ ] Male [ ] Female* [ ] Formerly Male [ ] Formerly Female [ ] Both
*If female, indicate breast implant size: _______
Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor
vehicle in any way? [ ] Yes [ ] No

Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
If you don't own a cell phone, please explain why you don't:
______________________________________________
(Use extra pages, if necessary)

Please check hair color:
Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead [ ]
Other ___________

Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that apply)
[ ] Eating
[ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Shaving (male or female)
[ ] Pulling on panty hose
[X] Talking on the phone (already checked for your convenience)
[ ] Lifting weights
[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[ ] Snorting cocaine
[ ] Smoking weed
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Discharging firearms / reloading

Please indicate how many times, while driving, you expect to:
[ ] a) Shoot at other drivers ___
[ ] b) Be shot at ___

If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:
[ ] a) Call the police to report the crime.
[ ] b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, and then watch your car on
the news in a high- speed chase.
[ ] c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company
for your 911 call not going through.
[ ] d) Call your therapist.

In the event of an earthquake, you should:
[ ] a) Stop your car.
[ ] b) Keep driving and hope for the best.
[ ] c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
[ ] d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.

In the instance of rain, you should:
[ ] a) Never drive over 5 MPH.
[ ] b) Drive twice as fast as usual.
[ ] c) You're not sure what "rain" is.

Please indicate your current number of therapy sessions per week: ________

Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
[ ] a) Prozac
[ ] b) Zovirax
[ ] c) Lithium
[ ] d) Zanax
[ ] e) Valium
[ ] f) Medical pot
[ ] g) Zoloft
[ ] h) All of the above
[ ] i) None of the above*
* If none, please explain: __________________.

Length of daily commute:
[ ] a) Less than 1 hour*
[ ] b) 1 hour
[ ] c) 2 hours
[ ] d) 3 hours
[ ] e) 4 hours or more
*If less than 1 hour, please explain: ____________________.

When stopped by police, you should:
[ ] a) Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready.
[ ] b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the freeway.
[ ] c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus
ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit profit.

When you see a woman driver with her arm extended out the window, it means:
] a) Her turn-signals are broken.
[ ] b) She is giving an indication she intends to change lanes.
[ ] c) She is drying her nails.

Which part of your car will wear out first?
[ ] a) The wiper blades
[ ] b) The seat belts
[ ] c) The horn

Automatic door locks are good for:
[ ] a) Security
[ ] b) Convenience
[ ] c) Messing with the heads of people trying to get in.

The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
[ ] a) Dark, poorly lit roads
[ ] b) Flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
[ ] c) Revenge

**If you are over the age of 75, you do not have to complete this test, you
are entitled to drive even if you cannot see, hear, or move.
 
Talking about activities during driving.Yesterday, a woman was driving a Neon going through traffic. I was not in a hurry. When she drove by me, I saw her with one hand on the phone, the other hand had a cigarette. Driving with the remaining fingers she had free. Of course also check herself out in the rear view mirror at the light.
I really think Americans need to take driving more seriously.
 
fannsx said:
Talking about activities during driving.Yesterday, a woman was driving a Neon going through traffic. I was not in a hurry. When she drove by me, I saw her with one hand on the phone, the other hand had a cigarette. Driving with the remaining fingers she had free. Of course also check herself out in the rear view mirror at the light.
I really think Americans need to take driving more seriously.

Oh yeah? the other day I saw some blonde lady driving a red Rt-10 viper with a cell phone and a starbucks frapucinno pulling out of some mall here in Glendale. WTF??!!
 
I see women farding in their cars all the time. :biggrin:
 
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