What's wrong with today's youth (18-26 year olds)

[Yinzer]

I own two small rental properties and come into contact with many 21 to 30 year olds, either as tenants, neighbors, and/or those who constantly feel they have the right to park in a lot marked in four places with "Private - unauthorized vehicles will be towed" signs near lights. I also work with quite a few recent graduates who have been out of college for 1-8 years. The majority of times when I politely ask someone who's just parked in my lot to please move their car and point towards the signs, or when I arrive home to find neighbor renters throwing a football or frisbee in the lot just feet away from my tenants' vehicles, I'm met with amazingly brash, belligerent, and irrationally narcissistic BS centered on "what do you care when nobody else is parked there?" They obviously believe with every fiber of their being that you're an irrational idiot for not accepting whatever they feel they need to be doing at the moment. Once when I called in the police to ticket a kid whom I had just asked a few days prior to move out of the lot, the cop pointed to the signs and asked the kid "so what happens when someone who pays for their parking spot comes home in a few hours to see someone else in their spot..." only to have the kid completely not get any of that and actually start giving the cop some attitude and the same "why can't I if the lot is half empty" routine along with even lying to the cop that it was the first time he'd parked there so what's the big deal, etc.. It was especially nice that I had a photo on my phone of his car from the prior week in a different spot. Then at work in a professional environment, there's a very obvious line of demarcation above & below around 28 years old, where the majority in that group seems extremely loathe to seek help from or engage in any coffee/cooler talk or join up for lunch with anyone outside of their circle. Contrast that with my first week at Ford Motor 20 years ago as a green college graduate grasshopper where 3 of 5 lunches each week were with people from our entire work group, from interns up to the grey beards just years from retirement. I know each generation of 40+ year olds thinks we're all screwed because of the youth at the moment, and I know I'm just one google search away from a few key generational nicknames and key buzzwords and theories as to "what's wrong with today's narcissistic youth." I even think there was a newsweek or Time magazine article on that semi-recently, which I'm now super curious about and will seek tomorrow. But dammit anyway, what's wrong with today's youth?

Edit on 6/5: what's wrong with SOME BUT NOT ALL of today's young adults? I want to reinforce that I don't mean to generalize to all under a certain age. I know a few spoiled and narcissistic adults over 40 ha ha but not many!

 

[Stephen@NCAutoUSA]

Youth nowadays have a sense of entitlement which makes no sense. A part of why society is going down the tube and why this country is getting run into the ground. I don't understand a lot of things going on in today's world, but there's no respect amongst the younger society anymore.

Oh I miss it when it was ok to hit your child in public. Now it's like the parents get disciplined by the law and get looked down upon for putting someone in their place. Well this is what it's become, and will only get worse as time goes by. I'm not saying you need to beat your kid, but a smack once in a while isn't a bad thing. Kids and youth think they have to much power and they seem to get away with things more nowadays then ever before.

 

[JoseJA1979]

Respect was forced on my generation. There was no timeout. You listened to your parents or you were beat, spanked or intimidated somehow. This is the soft generation where people feel its wrong to discipline their kid in a stern manner. Today's kids understand that mom and dad can't do anything to them without getting into trouble. This coupled with home life where mom and dad are either not always present or altogether not existent is leading our kids right down the drain. A majority of families have parents that are too busy for their children either because they are working multiple jobs to make ends meet or selfishly more interested in climbing the corporate ladder than being there for their kids.

I for one am doing my part to always be around for my son. I refuse to have my kid fail. I keep things as "old school" as possible with a mix of some "new school" thought.

 

[robr]

It doesn't help that when they are kids there is this whole everybody gets a medal mentality. I miss the whole kids being taught to use Mrs. Smith and Mr. Jones... It automatically instills some respect. Now adults including teachers and peincipal are all on a first name basis.

 

[Yinzer]

The idea of me not "heeding" the warnings of an adult in charge of a given situation in my late teens, or back-talking a cop, or arguing to leave may car parked illegally after being warned/asked to leave by someone who could have it towed, is utterly unimaginable. Like others here have said, parents with their idle threats from across the room of "hey buddy, please stop...hey buddy..." Instead of walking over and letting the 6 year old know he's misbehaving with firm feedback and proper "healthy" discipline are not helping at all. On the other hand, nor are the little league or soccer coaches and over the top soccer parents who yell way too much compared to what I remember from 30 years ago and drive into these kids what seems to me to be a very over the top "I am correct and I must win and the other guys are always wrong" message. Plus with much of tv and media that praises Kardashian type of no holds barred who cares what people think narcissistic behavior, no wonder most 17 year olds I know exude an aura of an aloof cat. As you can tell I had a small run in yesterday that made me wish parents could whip their 24 year olds.

 

[Rope]

The problem with today's youth I feel is explained here:

http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html

Oh and I am 29.

 

[warrenw]

Rules and laws don't apply to 18 -26 year olds. Just ask them. :smile:

 

[alum04org]

The problem with today's youth I feel is explained here:

http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html

Oh and I am 29.

Rope thanks for that link. Thought-provoking to say the least, and well stated (I like pictures!).

At great risk of oversimplification I was going to answer the Yinzer's question with:

"Because they have never had their a*s kicked."

 

[jaja]

Like everything, things can be over generalized.

As a 23 year old, I do not find myself falling into the above categories. And, I'm sure many of you do not find yourselves in the categories from the other point of view.

Here's the other side of the coin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4IjTUxZORE

Steven Colbert had a few words to say as well:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zdtdPCOsw4

Statement: Kids have no respect or discipline.
Who didn't discipline them? The parents (adults).
Why couldn't they discipline (beat) them? The law.
Who is the law? The adults/elders.
Well that doesn't make much sense, because the adults/elders were all about respect/discipline right?

Then there's divorce, unions, national debt, wars, global warming, outsourcing jobs. Today's youth are not responsible for these, but must live with the consequences. Maybe that can answer this thread's question.

This argument could go on and on and on, but stereotyping will accomplish nothing.
It's easy to blame all the parents, the law, all the kids, or all the youth. There are bad apples in every basket.

Yinzer, it sounds like you've got some bad apples living in your rental properties. Which is a shame. But there are a lot of others in that age bracket with their heads on their shoulders.

Guys, I'm not bashing anyone, there are two sides to every coin. The problem here is lack of respect. That problem is universal and spans all generations.

Lucas

 

[Yinzer]

Yinzer, it sounds like you've got some bad apples living in your rental properties. Which is a shame. But there are a lot of others in that age bracket with their heads on their shoulders.

Guys, I'm not bashing anyone, there are two sides to every coin. The problem here is lack of respect. That problem is universal and spans all generations.

Lucas

I hope and assume nobody thought I or anyone else here was binning all 18-30 year olds into this category. I don't think anyone did, but just in case, I had to say that. We all know many 40 y/o, 50 y/o and older folk who fit into similar clueless/selfish category. I screen very thoroughly all my tenants and luckily only 1 in around 25 over the past 7 years has fit into this category. I'd like to think it's my version of being a smart parent/adult type figure and picking & choosing & interacting wisely. It's mostly neighboring renters and sometimes my tenants' guests who stir up these disappointing thoughts. So those of you under 30 who "get it" and can see this type of behavior in your peers - realize that those a few generations above you can pick up on that quickly. This will serve you very well through life, your career, etc.

Gotta run to a Serbian picnic full of families and many generations of kids, young adults, and adults, the vast majority of which have been brought up well with parents very involved in their upbringing, all of whom are a pleasure to be around!!

Looking forward to reading thru some of the links you all shared here later!

 

[heySkippy]

Same as it ever was IMO.

 

[Yinzer]

Good links above. Rope's was very enlightening, I thought it answered very well the likely source of much of the behavior of many but not all of Gen Y's, especially arounf the office! It'd be one thing if much of the "unhappiness" was kept internalized and amongst themselves until perhaps reality set in and things normalized in their lives a little closer to "the norm," but I'm still left wondering "why" over so much frequent outward disrespect and pushback from some that I definitely did not do or see amongst peers in my 20's and do not see nowadays by most over ~35. Jaja's first link seems to show that well: lots of snarky "yeah well you were worse so we are better/right/ok by comparison" by followed by holding that stance and retreating back into texting or their own world instead of acting positive or showing effort towards how to improve things.

Maybe that's good because the world will not tolerate that too long and may result in something better! Well, rehashing this over and over isn't going to solve anything and I don't want to beat the horse too much, but the add'l viewpoints are great.

 

[DocL]

It doesn't help that when they are kids there is this whole everybody gets a medal mentality. I miss the whole kids being taught to use Mrs. Smith and Mr. Jones... It automatically instills some respect. Now adults including teachers and peincipal are all on a first name basis.

I couldn't agree more with this. Addressing adults by Mr., Mrs., Ms., Dr., etc are all part of learning to respect adults and learning that adults are an authority figure. Heck, until I turned 40ish I still addressed my friends parents by Mr, Mrs, or Dr. I also expect my kids to do the same but my wife doesn't see the need. We get in arguments about it all the time.

I guess I fall into the school of old timers who are being overruled by the more casual times. This also has a lot to do with everyone's expectations of immediate gratification and no responsibility for one's actions.

 

[toddat]

They confuse hustle with results

 

[robr]

I'm with you Rob. I'm still uncomfortable using my best friend's parents' names even after 30+ years. Not only that, it's impossible to enforce when every adult, whether parents, the reverend down the street, principal or teacher all introduce themselves by their 1st name. I'm not even religious and I call the reverend "Pastor Rob". I would feel awkward just calling him Rob, which is how my kids know him.

It may seem like such a little thing, but I don't think it really is little if you look at the big picture. Also with respect also sometimes comes a certain amount of healthy fear. I want my kids to feel a bit afraid that if they're out of line there will be consequences. Around my house, the worse consequences are a timeout for a few minutes or losing of media time. Granted, my kids are pretty polite and generally on good behavior, but they definitely don't have that same healthy fear of authority figures that I had when I was their age.

If I yell at them, my wife lays into me like it's the end of the world. Thankfully they almost never bring me to that point.

 

[Vega$ NSX]

You do realize the current state of youth today is of the fault of the generation that is criticizing them now and they way they raised them. So in essence, we are to blame as we are the ones that have created these entitled monsters. And by "we" I mean everyone except me since I don't have any kids. :biggrin::smile:

 

[ralph cerbone]

You do realize the current state of youth today is of the fault of the generation that is criticizing them now and they way they raised them. So in essence, we are to blame as we are the ones that have created these entitled monsters. And by "we" I mean everyone except me since I don't have any kids. :biggrin::smile:

He's right

 

[Stephen@NCAutoUSA]

You do realize the current state of youth today is of the fault of the generation that is criticizing them now and they way they raised them. So in essence, we are to blame as we are the ones that have created these entitled monsters. And by "we" I mean everyone except me since I don't have any kids. :biggrin::smile:

You mean... None that you know of anyways :tongue:

 

[cousindeagle]

I love taking people's reserved parking spots. I do it where ever I can. J/k It happens and all people will do it. I used to stress about people taking my reserved parking spot until my wife told me the more I worry about it, the more days I'll have ruined. I just park somewhere else when it happens and make up for it with some beer.

 

[docjohn]

somehow social media and the internet have something to do with all this.Kids are more connected to each other often working around their parents...it is the breakdown in the nuclear family and the rise of the virtual world that is Fing up society.

 

[Yinzer]

Here's the other side of the coin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4IjTUxZORE

I showed this video to someone tonight for fun. Upon second viewing, I have to say I think I'd be careful about pointing to it in a good way as representing the other side of the coin. Or hopefully the creator intended some self-parody that I completely overlooked. To me it reeks of the same snarky self-righteous inconsiderate narcissism, finger-pointing, and faulty justification exhibited by *some* millenials I run into, with not even a shred of any positive "I'll be better too" theme. It was deja vu all over again from Saturday night and what inspired my original post, when I was met with confused indignation as to why I'd even consider asking the loud partying corn hole and frisbee throwing neighbors to move out of my parking lot away from tenants' cars. Of course they mouthed back and couldn't self-recognize the concept of respect for others' property. Instead all they saw was a lot that was 2/3 filled at the moment and which should be theirs for the using if they wanted. I was called a "bully landlord" since I was clearly in the wrong for not being a fun & friendly neighbor. One of the clueless twerps even mumbled about calling a local TV news station for "predator towing" and likely "being in bed with the tow company" when I pointed to the "do not park or be towed" signs after asking one of them to move their car from blocking part of my lot. I was wrong, they were right. Unbelievable? Believe it! They represent a subset of our future.

Guys, I'm not bashing anyone, there are two sides to every coin. The problem here is lack of respect. That problem is universal and spans all generations.

Lucas

Amen and well said, Lucas. I don't think anyone in this thread is bashing anyone other than the truly clueless outliers. Unfortunately, it's always the outliers who stand out and get noticed, which can lead to generalizations and profiling...

Rope's post points to a "Happiness = Reality - Expectations" formula, and that makes a lot of sense. However I think even that article missed a little bit of the main point by not focusing on Satisfaction instead or also. I'd place Satisfaction much higher in importance than Happiness. I'm a big fan of Adam Carolla's podcasts, and even before I ever heard him talk about Satisfaction vs. Happiness, I've always felt that I'd rather be Satisfied more often than Happy. Happiness can't be constant, but feeling satisfied (not to be confused with Settling) to me is a key to happiness to myself and Respect to others (and to myself). Without getting too tricky, I'd say Respect For Others = Happiness + Satisfaction, where Satisfaction = Results + Hard Work + Smart Work + Dumb Luck. (Note that Dumb Luck is what you can't manufacture, while Earned Luck = Results + Hard Work + Smart Work, ha ha). This really rang true to me the first time I heard it:

<iframe width="640" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/odWVrNw68k0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>

I'm convinced many of the world's hate & respect-related issues would disappear with more Satisfaction in the world and not more Happiness, as well as more true "parenting" which was mentioned by some here, and which Carolla has some great thoughts on too!

 

[jaja]

I showed this video to someone tonight for fun. Upon second viewing, I have to say I think I'd be careful about pointing to it in a good way as representing the other side of the coin.

I would agree. The video is more offensive than defensive. Its fighting finger-pointing with finger-pointing, which isn't the best method of argument (except in politics it seems), but does expose some points from the " millennials' " point of view. It's no TED talk that's for sure!

Sounds like your tenants have some bonehead neighbors!

(Rant-mode: Engaged, but on-topic)
Speaking of which I had a jerk of a neighbor, wife and baby. He used to work at by-law, so he called us up for everything in the book (repeatedly I may add). But the icing on the cake is that we never broke any by-laws or had any ill-intentions EVER. This guy simply had it out for us and expected for us to pack up and move on when receiving tickets from his by-law buddies (all which were thrown out when challenged).

Yinzer you are definitely doing the RIGHT thing by asking your neighbors to be respectful, they're just too dense to realized it's better than waking up to endless bogus by-law tickets. Never once was our door knocked on to ask us to move our cars, turn down music, not use power tools etc. Instead he used by-law to fight his battles... Literally the only time he came over to talk was when we were working outside and basically every other word out of his mouth started with "F" (use your imagination).

I honestly feel bad for that wife and baby of his.

They represent a subset of our future. :smile:

Don't worry, these guys aren't our future:biggrin:.

Lucas

 

[PainIs4ThaWeak]

It's funny you mention this, as it is constantly on my mind.

I'm a 28 year old male, who got a very early start on life. (Army @ age 17.) But seem to recall always being much more mature, respectful, and genuinely concerned with other's well-being/rights than my peers.

But you (the OP) are quite right, about the lack of concern for many matters of importance by youth's today. I still work with the military, and the youth's attitude has changed for the worse - the environment seems to inhibit a lack of respect and maturity. However, I'm not convinced the military environment bred this on their own. I feel very strongly that the social "norm" has. (Our media, in my belief, is a very large part of this equation.)

... Alas, it's frustrating and depressing for me when I see another in my age bracket act negatively. In the end, it hurts my "approachability", hurts me career-wise, and lowers the accepted "standard" for people of my age group. Though the upside is it lets me know REAL fast who I'll chose not to associate with.

 

[Ritesh]

Interesting topic. I like Rope's link though I think it is a very simplistic view.

 

[bigbadberry]

Affluenza. That is all.