its funny i come to prime for my daily nsx fix just like everyone else on this forum and one the of the best reads ive come across had nothing to do with a nsx.
I don't know why you would take marriage advice from a 98 year old that was married 3 times and cheated in her husbands. Pretty much the worst person to learn from. She sounds like a slut.
I wonder how much money she stole from guys in her divorces?
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Carguy so you are 46? The thing is 23 is pretty young to be married. So the question is, how much of a single life did you know? What I'm saying is I am a happy guy right now. They say if it ain't broke, don't fix it. But I'm in my 40s and I don't want to do or not do something I may regret.
I feel like the baby here and I have two babies of my own. One 5 days now and the other will be 2 in January. I have to concur with the you don't know your purpose until you have children. The toys, cars, the material shit - none of it matters. I'd give it all up in a heartbeat to keep my kids safe, healthy and in a home full of love!
10 years ago reading this I would have said, that's BS, but you're absolutely right. Someone without kids will never be able to understand this.
^I must be lucky (so far) my 2 yr old never throws tantrums. Hopefully his sister holds up to the same standard!
And as much as you hear "It can't be explained in words", you truly do never understand until you have children - even if they are trying to knock the star off the top of the Christmas tree with their nylon ball right now! lol
Naaman, knowing you as well as I feel I have come to over these many years, you simply are not cut from the same cloth as most. You stand way above us all in many respects and your values are something I think that many of us aspire to be able to uphold. I have no doubt that when it comes to marriage, you put no less into that than you do into anything else you do in your life and your wife and kids are incredibly lucky to have you in their lives.
I tend to be a perfectionist but I suck by far in comparison to you and thus I cannot seriously consider your advice since I know you are actually a robot and I stand no chance when it comes to trying to maintain the same discipline and values a robot is able to keep. Nanoo-Nanoo.
All things being equal the biggest mistake I have made in my entire life, is having kids late in life. One of my biggest stressors is whether or not I will live long enough to see them grow up.
I was in the same place you are for a very long time. I was the guy up at the podium spouting off about how I'll never get married, never have kids.... Blah blah blah. The "if its not broke don't fix it" phrase was one of my favorites.
Once you have kids it changes everything. Some things for the better others not. But its one of those things you can't put your finger on or put words to...just how it makes life so much more, more of everything that's good and cerebral. I think about it a lot. Parenting shows the parallels between what your going through as a parent and what your parents may have done or not done for you, and why, and how....that spins around in your mind endlessly, at least for me. You think you have purpose until you have kids and then you know what purpose really is.
I realize now had I had children earlier in life it would have made everything much harder but also more interesting. When I talk to people my age about their kids and they tell me how they are about to finish college it pains me that my youngest hasn't even started kindergarten yet. Will I be there when she's "just about to finish college"
I had my first at 42 after living with then marrying my wife. I was with her for 11 years before having kids. Let's say you meet someone and are with them for 11 years before having a child. You say you are in your forties, let's say 45, plus the ten years before getting married, 55, kid pops out on the day of the wedding your kid starts kindergarten when your 60 and graduates high school...you're gonna be 73, if you make it to college graduation for a masters you'll be pushing 80.
This post really isn't directed at you or anyone for that matter it's simply information that I wanted to put out here. Time flies, even more so as you get older. I would say having kids late is much like reading the best book of your life and not knowing if you're gonna be able to finish it. Wanting to read more than a page a day to see how the ending goes but only being able to turn one page each day.
In conclusion, before marriage, its all about me....after marriage, its all about her or the kids.
Any if its a good marriage you want it to be that way. And it's reciprocated.
Same age my kids will be when I'm 51.