"Not interested in having kids - who else feels this way?"

[NSXLVR]

Its not a game...no offense. Unless you really want kids then don't. Don't let someone foist you into having them as maybe your not with the right person?

Just playing devils advocate...

I know a chick (somewhat in the family) who was so desperate to get married that she basically forced her now fiancee into a corner and so then he proposed...is that really healthy? Not in my mind...

To a degree. I should state this, I am more buisness focused, I have no problem with having kids, as long as the finances are taken care of.

growing up in a single parent home, a lot of the nonsense came due to finances.

So our deal is, once I'm rich, we can have some :tongue:

 

[ANYTIME]

Don't really care what your intent was Steve, you post on an open forum, anyone that is a member is welcome to contribute regardless whether or not they share your opinion. Go start your own forum if you want to sensor who can and cannot respond to your posts.

you set yourself up Steve

 

[Steven Allen]

you set yourself up Steve

The OP is VERY specific - who feels this way NOT who does NOT.

 

[Ko-nsx]

Thank you Steve Allen for this thread. I have gotten a few pm's from primers about my situation and they were very heartfelt and helpful. Sorry if my post is off topic.

 

[robr]

Thank you Steve Allen for this thread. I have gotten a few pm's from primers about my situation and they were very heartfelt and helpful. Sorry if my post is off topic.

You're off topic AGAIN!! What are you THINKING? We ALWAYS stay on topic on prime! Did you know that there's a MONSTER at the end of this THREAD???

 

[NSXLuvr]

:biggrin::biggrin:

I had a miserable day last week... Lost a patient to cancer, partner is screwing me, accountant with bad news, etc etc etc!! I get home and my 2.5 Y/O daughter comes running at me at FULL speed ecstatic and screaming "Daddy Home! Daddy Home!". We ate dinner together as a family and played with her toys all evening... It made my works challenges go away!!

P.S. She likes to watch TopGear with me!

Sorry to go OT steve:biggrin:

 

[steveny]

Did you know that there's a MONSTER at the end of this THREAD???

LOL, something a parent would get. Too funny rob. Lol

 

[steveny]

To a degree. I should state this, I am more buisness focused, I have no problem with having kids, as long as the finances are taken care of.

growing up in a single parent home, a lot of the nonsense came due to finances.

So our deal is, once I'm rich, we can have some :tongue:

This is what I did and I some what regret it. When my first daughter is graduating high school I will be 59 years old. If I am lucky and make it to 75 I will see and know her at 30 and maybe have some grandchildren. Time goes fast. I see it now when we attend birthday parties and other parents are 20 years younger than me, kind of feel out of place sometimes.

 

[Oldguy]

Since, rightly or wrongly, this thread has developed into a discussion of the pros and cons of having kids, I would like to expand upon something that several others have mentioned- dealing with old age with and without kids. At 73, I am probably older that most of you. Even though I enjoy relatively good health, I'm reminded daily that growing old is a pain in the ass. I was a Division 1 scholarship athlete and have been physically and mentally active all of my life. But my list of things I "can do" gets a little smaller each year, and the "can't do" list becomes longer. I know there are lots of older folks who have made friends with this fact of life, but if it were not for my kids and grandkids, I would find it rather depressing. I can't begin to convey how our involvement in their lives and, in turn, their love and support for us makes growing old a much more upbeat affair. And down the road when things inevitably go south healthwise I know that they will be there for us then, too. I didn't think of any of this when we had our children, but I do now and I am very thankful that we will not be alone as we march through the twilight.

 

[Kyras]

Let me say this yet again:

My post was NOT intended to garner responses from those who
inform us about how great parenting is or other reasons why parenting
brings them joy. My post was to inquire how many prime member feel the way I do - PERIOD!!!

As to how I came to this decision or how old I am or other inquiries.
See PARAGRAPH ABOVE. If you do not feel the way I do start a different thread discussing why you enjoy being a parent and ......

I think warrenw is the only one who's posted who felt the same way as you, so far, although he's having second thoughts now.

BTW, I just met Warren today, in Huntington Beach, CA at our NSX BBQ. Pretty cool that he was down here from Canada at this time.

 

[heySkippy]

I'm not interested in having kids, and at age 55 it's not likely that I ever will. Works for me.

 

[socalx]

Ok. So you have your answer. 2 people feel like you and the rest so far do not

By the way my dads age to me is exactly the same is yours to your child. I am in my forties and it has worked out well

 

[Dhalsim]

Don't really care what your intent was Steve, you post on an open forum, anyone that is a member is welcome to contribute regardless whether or not they share your opinion. Go start your own forum if you want to sensor who can and cannot respond to your posts.

perfect!

 

[Ko-nsx]

Are you married btw? Do you just not want them or cant have them normally. In my mind I could do without them, maybe its because I cant the natural way.

HTC EVO

 

[davidf]

Steve, you never mentioned "why" you don't want kids. I think that would clarify alot and you'd likely get more specific answers. At 24 my GF of 3 years got pregnant. I was devastated of course. My dream was a long drawn out bachlorhood/good job while building up my retirement. Experiencing as many womem as I wanted while having zero responsibilities. Kinda the Charlie Sheen life less the drugs and alcohol. Nonetheless we married for 7 years, I was, and still am a wonderful father. Still I will always wonder in the back of my head the direction my life would've lead me had I not had a child. It's not that I don't like children, it's just not my cup of tea and theres positively nothing wrong with that.

 

[NSXLVR]

This is what I did and I some what regret it. When my first daughter is graduating high school I will be 59 years old. If I am lucky and make it to 75 I will see and know her at 30 and maybe have some grandchildren. Time goes fast. I see it now when we attend birthday parties and other parents are 20 years younger than me, kind of feel out of place sometimes.

older dads kick more ass though!

 

[jond]

Its not a game...no offense. Unless you really want kids then don't. Don't let someone foist you into having them as maybe your not with the right person?
Just playing devils advocate...

Well that does bring up an interesting point.
If I had to estimate based on my experience of the mentally healthy, attractive women, about 99.9999% want kids.

For someone like myself who's not sure if they want kids, it makes finding a cool chick to date(in a serious manner) incredibly difficult.

Sorry to go off topic Steve , but it brings up the question:
If someone is on the fence about kids or even slightly not wanting them, if it means giving up on finding a cool chick to fall in love with, what do you do?

 

[DeVinci13]

That is what I am having problems with right now. I have been divorced for 2 years now and I am actually starting to look for someone to be with. I have 2 requirements, non smoker and no kids. The first is no problem, the second not so much. There are plenty of mid 30's, low 40's women out there, but they all come with children. And I don't want to be one of those 40 year old men dating 20 year olds.

You can put me on the list with Steven, don't want kids, never have, never will.

 

[blue_myriddn]

It is almost a law of physics - if you mention that you aren't interested in kids, those who do have kids feel a compulsion to explain why having kids is great. I believe there are a great many psychological studies that have tried to explain why this is so, but honestly it is easiest to just accept it as reality

Trying to avoid that response is like trying to avoid gravity.

As for my wife and myself, the path of our life simply hasn't taken us to children. That may still change, but it is unlikely. There are many things that we want to do and enjoy doing that simply don't involve children. Not that we don't like children, more a matter of choosing one path over another path with the knowledge that both paths are perfectly fine.

 

[ZR-1 NSX]

I come from a fairly large family, and my 2nd wife and I have no desire to have kids. My brothers and sisters children give us plenty fill of children. I never had kids because I was mature enough to realize that I wanted to chase after a home, cars, toys, etc. I thought that at some point, I would grow out of the phase. It never happened and I'm completely happy with things the way they are.

It's not politically correct to say I'm glad I don't have any. I know of too many people who had children and ended up very unhappy (not because of children) because they weren't mature enough to realize they weren't ready for parenthood. Then end up divorced and the innocent children are stuck in a disfunctional environment. As this problem continues to grow, divorce and single parent familys seems acceptable, thus further eroding the moral fiber of this world. Completely unfair for children to grow up in a environment where the parents are mentally still children themselves. Kids have kids, for Grandma and Grandpa to raise.

 

[LMR]

Great topic.

I recently got divorced. We had been together for just under 20 years and we never had children. It was something we talked about before we got married and we decided we didn't want children. We didn't get any grief from my parents but she was an only daughter so her parents would ask from time to time when they were getting grandchildren.

The only thing that irked me about the no children thing was the questions we would get from people asking us "why are you not having children?" Like we had to justify our decision. No one ever asks "why are you having children?", but they sure ask why you are not having kids. It is like there is something wrong with you if you don't want them. I love kids, I spoil my niece and nephew. But I love other people's kids. I have never wanted my own. I have been called selfish, self-centered, and worse.

I have many reasons for not having children. Mostly they are just personal. I have never really felt the desire or had the need for someone to be that dependent upon you. I also think that the world is a very bad place and it is only going to get worse. I would not want bring a child into this world. I have no hope that this planet will be able to support the untold billions of people. When oil runs out, and water becomes scarce and the icecaps melt, and governments fall due to debt, there is going to be all out civil wars, famine, disease, floods, and extreme weather. I just have no faith in humanity.

I am going to travel, spend time with family and friends and just have some fun in my life. I am happy having no one else to worry about and just live my life the way I want to. Come and go as I please, travel at a drop of a hat, stay up late, or go to bed early, or sleep in. People say I am missing the best experience you will ever have by raising a kid. I will take their word for it. I have the best of both worlds. I don't have kids but I can spoil and have fun with my niece and nephew. I am uncle Doo with the zoom zoom car.

This is a pretty close assessment of how I feel. I come from a big family with lots of nieces and nephews so we get our feel of playing with kids but it is nice to be able to send them home also. I have been asked many times why not, but most the time I don't feel the need to explain my reasons just as I don't ask others why they did.

So Steve, it's OKAY not to have kids. It's your life to live the way you choose.

 

[peiserg]

Steve, you never mentioned "why" you don't want kids. I think that would clarify alot and you'd likely get more specific answers. At 24 my GF of 3 years got pregnant. I was devastated of course. My dream was a long drawn out bachlorhood/good job while building up my retirement. Experiencing as many womem as I wanted while having zero responsibilities. Kinda the Charlie Sheen life less the drugs and alcohol. Nonetheless we married for 7 years, I was, and still am a wonderful father. Still I will always wonder in the back of my head the direction my life would've lead me had I not had a child. It's not that I don't like children, it's just not my cup of tea and theres positively nothing wrong with that.

Hmm. Hmm. Doesn't sound like "WINNING!" so much.:biggrin:

 

[Russ]

I would add that a decision to not have children is sort of like getting a tattoo. You will have to live with that decision for the rest of your life, and if you change your mind it may be too late or impossible to do anything about it.

 

[H-carWizKid]

So who doesn't want kids? Lots of people! I will be grateful if they follow through, and never have any.

I went the other way, and like many parents who have posted to this thread I am fiercely dedicated to my child- BUT I'm not a guy out trying to sell others on having kids.

IMO, if you have to be convinced then it isn't for you. I have lots of friends who do not have children- some of them have even made the comments that they think are very funny about how other peoples children (mine included) are "excellent birth control". So I say good for them! They don't understand it, maybe they don't want to understand it, and that is ok by me.

If people who don't really want children have children it is a tragedy for everyone involved (especially the child).

P

 

[AdvansCPAP]

I just turned 36, am married and both of us are not interested in any kids whatsoever. People call us weird. We rather be called weird, than have to deal kids for the rest of our lives.