Oil Change for the Mechanically DEclined (my story)

Joined
11 December 2001
Messages
217
Location
Raleigh, NC, USA
How NOT to spend an afternoon changing the oil. I hate to admit it, but it's all true. Someone come confiscate my tools now.
frown.gif


Print out the "guide to jacking" off the NSXPrime FAQ website. Not "guide to jacking off", as everyone should be fairly proficient at that already.
Print out the "how to change your oil" off the NSXPrime FAQ website.
Go down to the car, find the lift points and the stand points.
Double check for cracks, etc, from the previous owner's stupidity.
Get out the jack, lug it over to the car, being careful not to get anywhere near the car, as the jack is old and heavy.
Put the jack near the car, realize the damn thing is too high to get under the low ass car.
Spend a half an hour taking the jack apart, then figure out it is a 5 minute thing to take the cap off.
Jack the car up. The jack is very old, not well lubed, and only goes up about a 16th of an inch each pump of the handle, so damn near kill yourself pumping. Not near as fun as your old nympho girlfriend.
Handle is now bent.
Put jack stands under one side of car. Car is at a 45 degree angle and is making funny creaking noises like you are stressing suspension parts that are not designed to be stressed.
Go over to the other side, carrying the jack like a little baby, so I don't drop it on the car. (wheels don't roll due to rust)
Put jack under car, then realize you have parked too close to the side of the garage to get the handle of the jack in place. Find biggest screwdriver you have, and use that as the handle. Screwdriver flexes dangerously on each downstroke, and there is not full motion till the car is almost totally up in the air. The above takes slightly short of forever.
Get jack stands underneath car.
Realize car is now at the right height to get in and out of, contemplate a lift kit and some Mickey Thompsons.
Re-read the "change your oil" paper and realize you forgot to loosen the lug nuts to get access to the oil filter.
Go over to the drivers side, and loosen everything up.
Due to being a cheap bastard and buying 2 ton jack stands from Wal-Mart, the car is wobbling like one of those motion-simulator rides at King's Dominion. Uh ohh.
Stand back, wait for the car to either fall, or settle down. She finally settles down.
Pull the wheel, realize chrome wheels are way too heavy. Vow never to race anyone. Look around and no filter. WTF. Re-read the paper, and realize you pulled the wrong side wheel off. You don't THINK the neighbors heard the obscenities.
Go to passengers side, remove lug nuts VERY slowly. Drop wheel in lap trying not to upset car on stands. Hit nuts (yours, not car lug), whimper, think $75 is not that much money for a dealership oil change, and then realize the oil is still in the car and you have not accomplished anything yet. REALLY think about the $75 and how by not drinking beer all month the oil change would really be free...
See oil filter, and wonder if you have something big enough to remove it (forgot to buy filter wrench, no problem, you'll use channel locks.) RIGHT....
Crawl under the car, burning arms and hands on exhaust. had to go in from the back due to all the shit in the garage. Wrong size socket. get out from underneath car.
Get another socket. crawl back under car. Wrong size socket. ARGGG!!! Get out from underneath car.
Get entire socket set, take under car with me. Finally find socket that fits, and can't get a good angle on it with your little socket wrench.
Crawl back out from under the car, and get the torque wrench.
Crawl back under the car. Exhaust has now cooled enough that you can stand to touch it for more than a tenth of a second.
Lay under car for 10 minutes on the cool concrete getting your breath back and thinking how nice a nap would be.
Finally get the drain plug out. Oil is still hot enough to burn, even through the scar tissue the exhaust gave you about a half hour ago.
Let it drain, go inside to the Air Conditioning, get a drink, cool off, mentally and physically.
Go find the big set of Channel Locks. 20 minutes later, the filter looks like it has been sandblasted due to lack of paint, and it is still as tight as ever.
Sudden inspiration, the old screwdriver through the filter method.
Grab big Phillips head screwdriver and hammer.
Stalk back to the car with a maniacal look in eye, hell bent on revenge.
Angle the screw driver so you can turn it, then spend 15 minutes trying to beat the thing through the filter with no room to move the hammer. Spin it a quarter turn, and then realize you can't get the screwdriver out. Get screwdriver out, realizing that you have now turned the filter a whole 16th of a turn, and can't get it any more due to the screwdriver being to big.
Go get another screwdriver.
This one is too big also.
Go get ALL the screwdrivers.
meanwhile, hot oil is leaking out all over the car, and you have frantically repositioned the catch pan about 5 times.
Filter finally comes off.
go back inside to clean up, get in the AC, and have another Kool Aid.
Come back outside, grab the new filter and crush washer, and spin it on - hand tight.
Hand tighten being as tight as you can get it with both hands and a rag on the filter. Wonder if it will ever come off again.
Get the crush washers confused as to old and new.
Spend 5 minutes of intense examination to finally see the area that has been crushed, hence the name. DUH
Put the crush washer on the drain screw, and torque it to 33 #. Almost there...
Put both wheels back on.
Lower car. Do not attempt to remove jack stands until you are ABSOLUTELY sure the jack has cleared them both. A car gathers a lot of momentum dropping a half inch onto a jack. Nothing dented, so all OK.
Tighten lug nuts to 80# on one side. Go to other side and tighten to 80#. Go back to first side and re-check, as you can't remember if you got all the nuts.
Re-tighten all nuts.
This puts doubt about the second side in your head, so re-check them.
Re-tighten all other nuts.
Alright, DONE.
Get key, put in ignition, OH SHIT, there is no oil in my car.
Put oil in car, 5 quarts, like it says.
Wait a few to let it all drain.
Notice that the car is sitting really funny with the wheels all canted out at the top. Hope it goes away when I drive it. If not, the car is sold. period. after putting a few .45 rounds through it.
Take it for a spin, after letting the oil get good and circulated.
Pull back into the garage, check for leaks, ahhhhhh all done. Nope, not even close.
Get the catch pan and filter from the corner where you slung it to.
Attempt to drain the rest of the oil out of the filter. Slice hands on the metal edges where the screwdriver poked through. Curse loudly again. Hope there are no kids outside....
Go get the hammer and beat the edges flat. Double bag the filter and throw in garbage (not ecologically responsible, but for what they charge for trash pickup, they can deal with it)
wipe down entire surface of catch pan, so you think, then get the empty containers to refill with old oil.
Spill a half a quart on the garage floor attempting to fill up a bottle. Figure out that you have to support the catch pan. Attempt to support it with your body, sitting on the floor, with it propped between your legs. Spill another half a quart on you when the damn oily thing slips on your my legs.
Finally get all the bottles filled, kinda, minus the oil on the floor and you.
Put the oil bottles away.
Spend a half hour cleaning the garage floor.
Spend another half hour picking up every tool you own and attempting to go inside.
Wife stops you at door, not allowing you into the house, as you have gone from clean yuppie to homeless looking hobo, covered in oil.
Spend another 10 minutes cleaning up with degreaser in the garage.
Go outside to hose off, and burn yourself one last time, as the hose has been left uncoiled in the 95 degree sun all day.
Wait 5 minutes for the water to cool, and get cleaned up enough to go inside.
After shower, go buy a filter wrench. Contemplate life, and assure yourself that next time you can get it done in 20 minutes.

ALL OF THE ABOVE WAS ACCOMPLISHED WITHOUT THE AID OF BEER
 
Very funny - but one serious note. NEVER get under a car that is supported in a way you are unsure of. You say the car was wobbling on the stands, then you got underneath to work. DONT DO THIS. A 3000 pound object falling on your head can ruin your whole day.
 
Tom,

We have all been there at one time or another. Anyone who is now proficient, at one time was not. Some of us are just stupid enough to keep doing it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So the real question: Did you take pics
smile.gif
, are you planning a writeup
smile.gif
?

Well, the bottom line is you did it! BTW, make sure with the car warmed up, engine off for 3-4 minutes, you check the oil level. My 1991 uses EXACTLY 5.3 qts after an oil/filter change.

One more thing, I agree 100% with Gary about the stands and the car being stable. The NSX is a very stiff chassis, and for me, since my garage floor is like a washboard, I very rarely get all four stands snug under the car. I use a small piece of 2x4 on top of each stand,but usually three are firm and one is a little loose.

It is one of the best things about the NSX! IMO. The only time I ever experienced that was on a race car. I was actually delighted the first time I put it on stands. Now that is stiff!!

Congrats,
LarryB



[This message has been edited by Larry Bastanza (edited 19 August 2002).]
 
I know this has been mentioned before by other members, but it is worth mentioning again.

The oil pump from griot's garage is amazing. It really simplifies the oil change process. Once the oil has been pumped, you can simply reach for the filter and remove it without jacking up the car.

It takes me about 40 minutes to do the change which is an amazing feat; because I am totally inept when it comes to cars.
 
Does anyone besides me change the oil w/o using an oil pump or jacking up the car ??? (this is NOT to saying anything other than maybe I am missing a step here) ???
 
Thanks for the concern about the jack stands.
smile.gif

Everything was supported fine. I checked about 3 times to make sure before I got under the car and about 3 times after I wobbled it on the stands. All 4 stands were secure, with all sides touching the floor.
Although you can't be too careful, it was my first time using jack stands so I was probably a bit paranoid. I got to writing this up for a friend of mine who works on his stuff, and thought it would be fun to share. There may be slight exaggeration in one or two areas
smile.gif
but all in all, the writeup made me laugh at myself more than anything. Hope everyone enjoyed it.
 
Great post! I can relate!

For those that don't remember - here is an encore performance:
-------------------
Headers for Dummies - Part I

Date: 10/25/1998

Hey gang,

The following is part 1 of a detailed story of one mans courage and stupidity to try to replace the headers on a 91' NSX. It is not one of those BS stories "yeh I did it in a suit and tie in 2 hours with only an adjustable wrench - and you can to!" stories that you often read. The people that say that are liars and have amnesia from dropping their cars on their heads. The moral of the story "(1) everything costs twice as much time and money as you plan and (2) if you can afford it - have someone else do it". It is much funner to take your car to the Acura dealer, steal a donut (or 2), and come back to a washed, clear, and repaired car". It is as if the little NSX fairies come and magically add stuff and it is wonderful if you can afford it.

Background: I decided that life had no meaning without aftermarket headers. I knew if I had some good headers my car would have more torque and horsepower then a Henning Viper, I would be more attractive to my wife, and my feet would no longer smell. Of course I thought that when I replaced my exhaust and did some airbox mods - but nothing happened so I knew it was the headers holding me back.

I couldn't afford new headers so I went the "used" market route. Sure enough I found RM had a set of DC Sports SS304 headers that were cracked on the inner sleeve and needed repair. Some baseball player was swapping out for RM's and wanted $600 for the set. I worked out a deal by which DC Sports would fix them for free and pay for shipping both ways - so I had a steal of a deal. It took me 4 weeks of phone calls and checking before I finally got them from RM to DC to me - but hey - it was worth it. Special thanks to Randy for dealing with me constantly on a deal that he stood little to gain on.

Since I couldn't really afford the headers, the install costs needed to be managed. My local dealer quoted me an install cost of $600 w/tax (ouch!). I then went through my Racer NSX site and found a member's post on how he did it himself. I read it and it sounded simple so I decided to by a shop manual and do it myself. For the rest of the post I will detail my expenses in brackets to show how I did vs. the dealer's $600 quote (DIY Cost $100). Unfortunately, there is no page that says - here is how you take out the headers if you don't have any clue on what to do. Bummer.

Honeymoon: So last night (Weds) I had a nice dinner, a glass of wine, and I decided to get the digital camera and the headers and do what I needed to do to get them in the car. I realized I needed some jack thingys so I went out and bought a small jack, 2 jack stands, and 2 chucks ($50 - DIY Total $150). I got the jack home and it was about 1/4" too tall and wouldn't work. I remembered I could saw off the top and it would fit so I hack sawed my new jack and covered it with electrical tape to protect my car. I cut the jack so low that it wouldn't life as high, but now I had the back of the car on stands but barely enough to get under. I also noticed my jack was now leaking oil everywhere and picked up the little notice not to turn the release valve more then 2 turns (Doooogghhh!!!). I figured the oil would stop on its own. I also realized I needed 4 jack stands and 2 wouldn't work. I went back and bought 2 more, some "long" sockets because they looked cool and might come in handy, and some adapters for my torque wrench ($30 - DIY total $180). Now I had to figure out a way to get the car higher. I took a landscape brick off the wall in front of our house. Unfortunately, I have lost so much oil that the jack will no longer go up. I got the scissors jack (stock) and the landscape brick and was able to get the car off the ground enough to get all 4 jack stands under the car. It was a bear and I think I ruined my scissors jack and don't know how I am going to get the car back down! (2 hours have past now). I throw my 2 hour old floor jack into the trash can and I am starting to think I can't get this done in the 4 hours I budgeted... I do have a digital camera and am taking a copious amount of pictures for 2 reasons. First, I want to post a set of instructions on how it is really done (and not one of these posts that lists 1/1000th of the steps) and second - I have no confidence I will put everything back right!

Honeymoon Over: I am now under the car with my torque wrench and begin to try to get the obvious bolts off. I spray everything with oil and hope they don't stick. I am using my K-Mart 40 piece mechanic set for $19 tools so you know I am looking like a pro. Son-of-a-bitch were these bolts on tight. The cat / exhaust bolt patterns have 3 bolts and it was like the first 2 would come off fine but the third one was welded on. I bet if you go on that Japanese NSX tour you will find that there are 3 exhaust system installers and 2 are typical Japanese men in size and weight - and the third is an ex-sumu wrestler with an attitude. If you see him, do me a favor and kick him in the balls for me (then run) for tightening these things down so f------ tight. I now have grease everywhere and am bleeding from several places from "cornering" (a nice word for stripping) several bolts. I also found that WD-40 spray does wonders for your eyes when it drips down off the bolts. At least it washes out all the rust that falls in your face every time you take something off the car.

It is now 11pm and the Potato bugs are attacking me like some Vincent Price movie! They are even biting me! I am screaming and swearing at the Potato Bugs, the bolts and the car - saying stuff to the bolts like "you want some of this you SOB (bolt) - it is time you meet Mr. Breaker Bar you !#@$#%#$@. At first I don't like to kill the Potato Bugs because they are disgusting and make a squishing sound (this is their only natural defense system BTW). I soon go on a rambo spree with the lid of the WD-40 to kill every Potato bug in the western hemisphere. Once they are all dead - I return to the stubborn bolts.

The neighbors are closing their front windows and my 9 month pregnant wife is now watching me with a detached look like she doesn't know weather to say anything or not. She takes a round about approach and asks me if I have ever done this or any maintenance on an NSX. I tell her I worked on NSX's all the time before we met and didn't even need to keep my eyes open. She knows our "real" mechanic is coming on Sunday and asks if we shouldn't just wait for him to do this too. I said I can do it cause I have the instructions. I am now a little light headed from the loss of blood and decide to go in. I am filthy and wretched looking. My four hours have passed and I don't have anything off the car yet and am starting to wonder if I should just put it all back together and write off the rest.

Just then another list member, Al Terpak, calls about some sleeves he sells for the NSX stock or aftermarket sway bars. Although we have never met face to face, all talked to me about installing the headers for over a 1/2 hour and never lost patience or assumed I knew something I didn't. Here is what my side of the conversation sounded like (imagine the old Bob Newhart standup routine where he is on the phone): "Yeh Al thanks for calling about the sway bar sleeves - as a matter of fact I was working on installing the headers and was having a hard time...what, I should soak the bolts in "liquid wrench" to help them come off? I used 10W-40 spray...oh you mean that is not the same stuff? I see. I actually have stripped a few bolts I think. Are my sockets 12 point or 6? I got the 12 point cause they were the same price. Oh the 6 points work better huh? Got it. Have I removed the heat shields yet? Not really - the car has been off for a day and it is not too hot outside. Oh - I need to take them off to get to the flange huh? Torque settings and lock tight are a good thing huh? Yeh I have the manual but it doesn't have a section on how to remove the headers if you have no idea what you are doing" This went on for a while. God bless that Al Terpak for his guidance and patience. I had enough courage, patience, and money left to try again the next day.
 
Next - Part II: The Empire Strikes Back

Headers for Dummies - Part II

Date: 10/25/1998

Here is part II of the Headers for Dummies Experience I had..

Thursday Morning - Know thy Enemy!:

Now battle hardened I set out to meet the enemy again before work. I walk past my wife with an intensity and determination like she has never seen. I sure that if she was talking to me - she would have told me how "turned on" she was by this display of manliness. I decide to check out the underside of the car and see if I can get any of the flanges apart. I notice the deep socket bolts I bought cause they were "cool looking" are in fact 6pt and have a 3/8" connector for better grip. Sure enough I am able to get a couple flanges apart and am able to leave the exhaust system up. I have worked for about an hour and realize I am late for work. My hands, arms, and lower legs are permanently stained and my knuckles are raw. This is really the image I want to present to my clients as a Big 6 (or 5 or whatever) Consultant. (Total time = 5 hours / Total Cost still = $180.)

Thursday after work:

I come home As my wife is due to deliver any day now, I cook dinner and talk to her like a "normal" human does. However, all I can think about is the job at hand and I soon sneak off when the phone rings. Not too much later I have the cats off when - damn - I broke my 12mm socket that was part of my $40 3,000 piece tool set! No fear, I still have my alternate set of $20 1,000 piece tools when - damn - it broke too! What's worse I can't fit my deep socket 12mm wrench in there! I decide to take a brake and call Randy for advice. Randy knows the underside of an NSX better then the top side and can do this in his sleep - so I knew he would have all the tips. I call him and he starts rattling off all the parts to remove with which size and so on. I am trying to listen and scribble frantically. In the end I have unreadable chicken scratch that was so awful - I wish I would have labeled which side was up. All I did remember was I would not put any solvent on the O2 sensor and I would need a 21mm wrench to get it off. I was depressed cause it was like being told the meaning of life - but too fast to remember or make sense of it. Randy finished by saying, "you are not trying to do this with hand tools are you? Oh... Well it is a bitch so good luck." Bummer.

I decide I need some progress to lift my spirits so I head out to the store to buy more parts and get the stuff I need to do an oil change. I buy another floor jack, a couple of flexible socket joints, a couple stubby sockets, some locktight, and some Mobile 1 (DIY cost $230 vs dealer quote $600). I then go to the Acura dealer to buy a oil filter. Now whenever I go to St. Louis Acura - they treat me like the cash cow / god that I am. These people pretend to be my friends because of the copious amount I spend there. I think they even have a "Nick Matteucci Scholarship Fund" as I am putting 1/2 their kids through college. They get me a Oil Filter from parts and are very nervous. They have never charged me less then $500 and have been ripping me off for the better part of a year. One time they tried to charge me 2.1 HOURS of labor to change the brake fluid! Like a gypsy caravan who knows the secrets are going to be soon revealed - there is a edgy nervousness in the air. I can see that they are all thinking about all the stuff they recently bought on credit - betting "on the come" that my money would cover it! Anyway - they charge me $19 @#Q!$%# dollars for a $4 oil filter!

I get home and place the oil pan under the car and remove the screw to drain the oil. I use my Wal-Mart "6 tools in 1" oil filter changer and it doesn't fit! I think to myself - screw it and make a mental note to put oil in the car before starting it back up. I couldn't even change the oil right so I return my attention to the car. I get the cats, a couple heat shields, and the exhaust pipe off the car. I am so proud of myself I feel like lighting a cigar - except I am covered with grease and would catch fire and die. (Total time 10 hours / Total Costs $230).

Friday Morning - Custards last stand: I wake up at 7am to finish the car today. I know that my marriage and sanity depend on it. My Mom is so disgusted by my behavior that she tells my wife that she is going to pay someone to steal my car and makes my wife promise not to let on! I start out with the manual again and want to finish the oil change and get the 21mm wrench for the O2 sensor. I go to the store for the 1000th time and I buy some kind of flanged 21mm socket that is supposed to be for water lines / etc cause it is the only one they have. I also go and return the oil filter remover for a different one that looks like it will work. When I get back - my wife has abandoned me for her friends and is wondering what would happen if she went into labor with me under the car and wretched looking. I go in the house for water and notice the Yellow Pages open to divorce attorneys - not a good sign.

I get the filter off but forget that it is filled with oil. A lot of oil. I now have oil all over me, my garage, and my tools. It takes me a 1/2 hour to clean everything up (except me). Now Acura charges me $56 for an oil change and my costs were $40 + the tool. DIY is becoming a dirty word. Per Randy's instructions I get the U shaped suspension bar off the car and the V shaped vertical suspension bar off the car. I finally get to the rear header and it is a bitch to get these bolts off with hand tools. I spend about 20 min. on each bolt experimenting with different extensions, angles of attach, etc. I usually can't get my breaker bar in there and can't exert enough torque with my 1/4" drive hand wrench. I remember that I didn't through away the handle to the jack I ruined and hacksaw it to fit over the hand wrench to become a new breaker bar. I unplug the O2 sensor from the engine - and remove the rear header and place it on the ground. I go to use my 21mm wrench on the O2 sensor and it won't fit! I get so pissed that I try to use an adjustable wrench and a hammer to get it loose. I am starting to strip the O2 sensor and ruin my adjustable wrench. I have seen professional welding that wouldn't stick like these O2 sensors do. I drive back to the store and return the tapered wrench - and drive to 2 more stores to find a 21mm standard wrench. I get back over an hour later and it still won't fit!!! I realize then that maybe this is not a 21mm as I was told - but a 22mm. Traffic is awful but I go back to the store and get a 22mm wrench - drive back - and stand on the SOB till it finally comes loose. Did I mention it is 90 degrees in the shade here in St. Louis? (DIY Costs = $240)

I put the new header in with the metal gaskets and the SOB will not fit over the bolts! I spend another 45 min. trying to get these in and give up (temporarily) to focus on the front headers. I call Randy from my cell phone under the car and he tells me again, "how I have to loosen the shift cables, remove the brackets, undo the main engine mount bolt, remove a huge cross member, take off the AC compressor and associated wire" - all to get at the front header. I am getting a gag reflex to vomit into the phone, but "in for a dime - in for a dollar" decide to give it a try. I get the shift cables loose (scary), the engine mount off (what's holding everything up?), the cross member off, and undo the bolts holding the AC on. Randy said to just put it down somewhere but for some reason, it is hanging just fine without the belt on it? I wrestle with it a little and ignore it to get the front header. To make sure I took the right AC bolts off, I call Randy on my once white - now grease black - cordless phone. I also tell him I can't get the rear header on for the life of me and he remembers that I have the DC Sports headers and I have to undo the 3 main transmission bolts and jack up the tranny 1/2" to get the headers over the bolts. Bummer.

I do what he says and sure enough they go on easily and I clamp them down. BTW - Randy's headers which are superior for not cracking also do not need to jack up the tranny to get to them. Finally 1 header is on the car!!! Only 15 hours have passed since I started the job!

I get the front header shield off and start working on the bolts. I keep looking at the AC compressor hanging precariously and it is nagging me what is holding it up. I look closer and their is a single, small gauge yellow wire that I didn't look for that is supporting the entire weight of the compressor! (Doughhhh!). I support the compressor with one hand and undo the wire couple with the other. I place the AC unit on the landscape brick I took off the front of our house - and wonder if we will ever have AC again. Oh well - it only robs you of power - right?

I finally get the front header off the car and one by one - all the neighbors are coming over to see what I am doing. One of them (god bless him) looks at the original exhaust pipe and compares it to the new header - and notices a metal gasket in the original. I hadn't noticed and remove the gasket and put it on the new headers. I hear him say a quite little prayer for me as he leaves.

I put the new front headers on the car and am putting the self locking bolts on. I get down to the last nut and can't find it anywhere. Like a wild animal I am turning my garage upside down. I look for a good 40 minutes and decide to go to the dealer to get another one. I drive like a maniac and feel like crying. I get to the Acura dealer where I normally show up dressed "to the nines" and acting like the prince I am - except I look like a street bum. Remember that movie "Trading Places" with Dan Ackroyd and Eddie Murphy? I was Dan Ackryd the bum. They literally didn't recognize me and all I said was "I need 1 of this nut!" I must have appeared deranged and they were thinking "you are a nut". Finally their NSX service rep said - "Nick - is that you?" He took a look at the nut and said, "what are you doing with this - this looks like a exhaust header self locking nut?" I told him I was doing my own headers as they were too expensive. He looked at me with a sad - fatherly look like - "you poor basterd". He sent me to parts and they let me come to the back of the warehouse to let me see the computer system and to get me away from the paying customers. The computer system was awesome and they could pull up all the parts. Unfortunately for me - they don't stock this 1 bolt and it would take them a WEEK TO GET ONE IN. Luckily for me there is a 3 day waiting period for handgun sales. I think I frightened him enough that he started calling other auto shops and then went to the floor to see if he had anything that might work. He left me alone with all the NSX oil filters right in front of me - and an idle mind is the devil's playground. I decide against it and he returns with a couple of similar nuts that might work.

I return home and wonder why they were acting so weird. I pull down the vanity mirror and start laughing hysterically at my grotesque appearance (imagine "phantom of the opera" and you get the idea). Luckily - one of the nuts worked perfectly and as soon as I finished - I found the missing nut! Apparently it had fallen into my armpit and was trapped in my shirt!

Putting stuff back together was a little easier then taking it off. Plus - there are a lot fewer pieces as you don't need the heat shields and the font header replaces the original front header and the exhaust pipe. It really looks a lot cooler without all the kluged heat shields and stuff. I was concerned there would be problems testing it and was not pleased with the amount of leftover parts. It is now 10:30 at night so I clean the tools and myself and go to bed by midnight.

Saturday Morning:

I wake up and am so sore I can't move. I had dreams that 3 Ninja's were kicking my ass all night and one had an N one had a S and one had a X on their shirts. My better half also informs me that I have ruined our sheets with the grease that didn't wash off and the blood everywhere. I shower again and my legs are burning like crazy. I look down and my calves and ankles are completely sunburn from hanging out the bottom of the car and in the sun! My knuckles look like I rubbed them against a cheese grater. I shower again and decide to go test out my new car. Just then my guardian angle reminds me that I have not put oil in the car yet! There is a God and he is just and merciful. I put the Mobile One in and climb into the car on jack stands and start it up.

There is no rattles (good), the AC works (very good), the check engine light never comes on (good). One thing that was interesting was one pipe blew a little white smoke and the exhaust heated up faster then the other (looking from the back the left pipe). As it was 8 in the morning - I didn't want to test the system by hammering on the throttle. My neighbors are already petitioning to have me removed for using my garage as a shop.

All in all I figure I spent $250 and 20 hours. Could I do it quicker next time - you bet. I am starting to get the amnesia that comes from traumatic experiences. On Sunday I am going to do the Springs with my mechanic. BTW - Sunday is also my wife's due date.

Statistics:

- Time estimated to replace headers.......4 hours

- Actual time spent.......................20 hours

- Money estimated.........................$100

- Money spent.............................$250

- Curse words uttered.....................10,543

- Times I called Randy for help...........6

- Amount of money Randy made on the deal..$0.00

- Trips to the hardware store.............9

- Knuckles bleeding.......................8

- Muscles sore............................75

- Tools broken............................6

- Fingers broken..........................1

- Promises to wife broken................14

- Neighborhood children frightened........5

- Parts "left over".......................17

Coming next: "Springs for Dummies" - No really this ought to be easy :-)

Best Regards,

Nick Matteucci ([email protected])
 
Nice story !
Gives me a lot of courage. Have planned to do my oil change first time ever this week before I go to Mas-du-Clos in France.

Now I'm not so sure I should do it myself.
 
Dont do what I have done
eek.gif


I was in a hurry one day while draining the oil (I dont use the pump). I slid the plastic container under the car to catch all of the oil. Unscrewed the drain plug. Let the oil flow into the container and left to go clean the drain plug. -Seems all good so far, right???

When I came back to the rear of the car I thought I was in Kuwait!!! I forgot to open the stupid little ait vent on the container!!! I didnt realize that the oil would not go into the container without that vent opened. 5 quarts doesnt seem like much until its all over the floor!

I felt soooooo stupid and it took me over 45 minutes with a bag of cat litter and rags to clean it up!

Oh well.... now I know
biggrin.gif


[This message has been edited by TheSwishh (edited 20 August 2002).]
 
Great post !! Reminds me of the time I told my wife "I just want to change the oil before we leave.......it'll take me about 20 minutes".

At the time I have a Mitsubishi VR4 Twin Turbo. To make a long story short:

- 1,000 miles on brand new car
- Up on floor jack
- placed jack stands
- drained oil
- remover old filter
- put on new filter
- wouldn't screw on easily
- applied a "bit" of force
- tightened filter
- filled crankcase with 5 quarts Mobil 1
- started car
- 5 quarts of Mobil 1 shooting all over garage floor
- checked filter
- removed filter
- put on new filter
- cross threaded aluminum filter housing a SECOND TIME
- called local Mitsu dealer
- called roadside assistance
- car was too low to get on flatbed
- went to lumber yard and bought planks to put under wheels
- loaded car onto flatbed
- took to local Mitsu dealer
- got bill for $674.00 for replacement of filter housing...not covered under warranty since the wound was self inflicted.
- Wife very pissed
- still trying to scrub the oil out from under my fingernails.

I never had my NSX long enough to screw anything up.....luckily.....
 
Don't forget my own oil change procedure, as shown on DanO's DIY website:

1. Call mechanic to make appointment.
2. Drive to mechanic.
3. Chat with owner while employee changes oil.
4. Pay for oil change.
5. Drive home.
 
Originally posted by wagyshag:
Does anyone besides me change the oil w/o using an oil pump or jacking up the car ??? (this is NOT to saying anything other than maybe I am missing a step here) ???

I don't use an oil pump or jack up the car either.
See my reply w/ quote to tomc92...
Bob
 
Tomc92...
Great story, what a riot.
Next time do the following.
Get an 8 foot long 2x4 (no, not to hit yourself with) and cut it into four 2 foot long pieces.
Lay them flat on the floor.
Drive up on them. The extra 1 1/2" of height is all you need.
Get a low profile (5" high) oil drain pan and a catch pan for under the filter.
Buy the Acura oil filter wrench. It's worth the 20 bucks or so.
You will no longer need to jack up the car or take of the wheel.
Remember to drive up on the 2x4's so that the right rear tire is only a couple of inches away from the end of the board at the front of the tire.
Bob
'94 all green / tan
 
Goods idea Bob. May have to try it, and if the next one goes like this one, I WILL be able to whack myself with not one, but four 2x4's.
smile.gif

I am gonna try my generic filter wrench next time and THEN probably go by the dealership.
 
Well, in short, here is my story for my very first ever oil-change that I did yesterday-evening.

Before I had bought Castrol 10W40 oil, jack/jack-stands, rubber kitchen-gloves, 17mm wrench, oil-filter, oil-filter-tool, washer and oilcatchpan. I also made two small wooden ramps to drive onto so I can get the jack under the car. Furthermore, I had printed all the info in the FAQ (very helpfull).
First, I drove the car to get it up to temp. Drove the car onto the two ramps. Then jacked it up slowly and carefully. Put jack-stand under it. Then jacked up the other side with no problems. Car was stable.
Spread out lots of old newspaper under the car to catch any spilled oil. The garage I park in is a general garage used by everyone in our appartment-block so I cannot mess it up. Got under the car with gloves, pan and wrench and loosened the nut. It was very tight and I hit my elbow painfully before it came loose. Got a little oil on my gloves but the rest I caught in the pan easily.
About ten minutes later I loosened the oil-filter. Spilled more oil but most of it on my gloves again and caught the rest in the pan. Cleaned my hands and picked up girlfriend from work, then had some tea.
After about 40 min. went back to the car and put plug with new washer on pan. Then filled up oil-filter halfway with oil and put in in place. Had some trouble tightening it with the oilfilter-wrench (have one with a chain) but after a while decided it was ok. Added about 5 more liters of oil. Then lowered the car and checked the oil level only to find out I had put in a bit too much.
Cleaned up the old oil and filter, put the newspapers and tools away.
Since it was already getting late I decided to finally install my Dali Radiator-shield as well. This took me about 20 minutes. After that I drove around a bit.

The only thing that is not entirely ok is that the oil-filter I had was the wrong type (shorter, partnumber 315, probably for a Legend). I can used it but will replace it as soon as I have the right one.

All in all, it was not nearly as difficult or messy as I thought it would be. I had put on some old clothes but I don't think I got any oil on them at all.
 
True story here involving my neighbor. He bought a 308 Ferrari and changed his oil. He is not the most mechanically competent and figured that when installing the drain plug you just apply more ft-lbs when encountering resistance. You guessed it - he stripped the (alu)threads on the pan. The car went away on a trailer to the Ferrari guy in Ocala. Was there for a month while they found more stuff to fix. Total bill for this DIY $4K.
 
MvM - you have the wrong filter on your car?
And you plan to track it this weekend?
Please tell me that you are not driving it until the correct one is in place!
I'm sure others here would agree that only the correct filter should be used for the NSX.
 
where is Griots garage with the oil pump and can I really change the oil without jacking up the car?...... Mahalo.from Maui Boy.1991 sebring
 
Originally posted by gblue:
where is Griots garage with the oil pump and can I really change the oil without jacking up the car?...... Mahalo.from Maui Boy.1991 sebring

Here's the link:
http://www.griotsgarage.com/catalog.jsp?&SKU=10122

I am able to do it without jacking the car up or rolling the car onto 2x4s. My main problem before the pump, was that I could not reach the drain plug. I could however, reach the oil filter. If you're not able to reach the oil filter, then this procedure will not work for you (caveat: I'm 6'3" so I have a pretty large wingspan).

With the pump, I do not need to mess with the plug. So its a simple matter of sucking the old oil out, removing the old filter, putting a new filter on, and then pouring new oil in.

I can change the oil within 20 minutes with very little mess (the only messy part is removing the old filter).
 
Originally posted by gblue:
where is Griots garage with the oil pump and can I really change the oil without jacking up the car?...... Mahalo.from Maui Boy.1991 sebring

Here's the link:
http://www.griotsgarage.com/catalog.jsp?&SKU=10122

I am able to do it without jacking the car up or rolling the car onto 2x4s. My main problem before the pump, was that I could not reach the drain plug. I could however, reach the oil filter. If you're not able to reach the oil filter, then this procedure will not work for you (caveat: I'm 6'3" so I have a pretty large wingspan).

With the pump, I do not need to mess with the plug. So its a simple matter of sucking the old oil out, removing the old filter, putting a new filter on, and then pouring new oil in.

I can change the oil within 20 minutes with very little mess (the only messy part is removing the old filter).
 
Originally posted by gblue:
where is Griots garage with the oil pump and can I really change the oil without jacking up the car?

It's here. Yes, but you may need to jack up the car to change the oil filter.
 
Back
Top