• Protip: Profile posts are public! Use Conversations to message other members privately. Everyone can see the content of a profile post.

2005 Darwin Awards.

Rating - 0%
0   0   0
Joined
5 March 2003
Messages
3,300
Location
N. Tx
Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards
are bestowed, honoring the least Evolved among us. Here then, are the
glorious winners."
2005 Darwin Award Winners:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot
did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel
and tried the trigger again. This time it worked. And now, the honorable
mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.
The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting
there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental
hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone
to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the
man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the
clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,
leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got
from the drawer...$15.
If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime
committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be
thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was
made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman
was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and
drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and
told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes,
officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open
the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated, walked away.

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home
near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor
home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press
charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd had in years.

:biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
 
Rating - 0%
0   0   0
Joined
28 August 2003
Messages
724
LLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLL


oh, am I in trouble now, everyone in my work place heard me louging out load for the last 10 minutes, this is halarious.

what a world to live in.
 
Rating - 0%
0   0   0
Joined
2 July 2003
Messages
1,436
Location
Virginia Beach
my favorite is still last year...

the guy who thought it would be funny to stick his nads in a golf ball washer not expecting it to turn and get this stuff stuck..

hehe.. if I would've been there I would've just died of laughter..

x
 
Top