sitting in a crowded restaurant in august, my father yells outloud to me, "HEY, DID I TELL YOU I WAS GROWING A 3RD BALL?"
(background)
i'm a 52 yr old guy with a father that lost his wife on his 80th b'day in july. he lives in oregon, i live in silicon valley. pop's a "grapes of wrath okie" - dirt poor family migrated from oklahoma during the dustbowl era, were migrant farm laborers... eventually dad joined the navy in wwII and from that became a welder (actually, a journeyman in 4 trades by the time he retired). i'm a software sales professional. we're a bit different
anyway, over the years, dad lost most of his hearing through work. he's on his 3rd hearing aid and it's not going too well.
for the past 6 months i've been traveling to oregon to visit. 100% of visiting time was spent in the house with dad and his wife; then just dad. but on my trip in august, i suggested we get out for a bite of food - maybe that nice chinese buffet he used to like. to my great surprise, he says "sounds great"... and we're off.
so we're in this place about 15 minutes and not talking much (since he can't hear well, he's accustomed to yelling cause he seems to think *i* can't hear well, either
when all of a sudden, he says (yelling cause he thinks i'm deaf, too)
"HEY, DID I TELL YOU I WAS GROWING A 3RD BALL?"
i'm telling ya, you could have heard a grain of steamed rice hit each and every plate in the restaurant... people's heads were spinning around to look at us like we were in a scene from the exorcist.
i'm sure i must have shrunk down about 9 inches in my seat. in fact, i tried to bury myself in the stuff on my plate. it didn't work.
"YEAH, I WAS TAKING A SHOWER AND GOD D*MN, I FELT SOMETHING, FELT LIKE A 3RD BALL. YOU EVER DO THAT?"
uh, no sir, never had that happen.
well, as you can imagine, everyone has stopped eating and is leaning over to hear whatever else is gonna be said... i'm not sure why, though, since you could have heard him from cleveland.
"YEAH, SO I WENT TO THE DOCTOR AND HE SAID IT WAS JUST A CYST, NOT A BALL. STRANGE, HUH?"
well, wasn't this a special father and son moment... naturally, i was so embarassed i thought i was going to projectile vomit right there on the spot. as fate would have it, everybody went back to eating their meals ("show's over folks, let's keep moving") and we finished ours and left.
as time's gone on, i've been struck how hilarious this was... both to other people who were watching what was happening and to me, too... i will always remember this tender father/son moment.
i'll also remember to get *my* hearing checked and treated as needed to save my son's from the same fate - or not, just to pay them back
(background)
i'm a 52 yr old guy with a father that lost his wife on his 80th b'day in july. he lives in oregon, i live in silicon valley. pop's a "grapes of wrath okie" - dirt poor family migrated from oklahoma during the dustbowl era, were migrant farm laborers... eventually dad joined the navy in wwII and from that became a welder (actually, a journeyman in 4 trades by the time he retired). i'm a software sales professional. we're a bit different
anyway, over the years, dad lost most of his hearing through work. he's on his 3rd hearing aid and it's not going too well.for the past 6 months i've been traveling to oregon to visit. 100% of visiting time was spent in the house with dad and his wife; then just dad. but on my trip in august, i suggested we get out for a bite of food - maybe that nice chinese buffet he used to like. to my great surprise, he says "sounds great"... and we're off.
so we're in this place about 15 minutes and not talking much (since he can't hear well, he's accustomed to yelling cause he seems to think *i* can't hear well, either
when all of a sudden, he says (yelling cause he thinks i'm deaf, too)"HEY, DID I TELL YOU I WAS GROWING A 3RD BALL?"
i'm telling ya, you could have heard a grain of steamed rice hit each and every plate in the restaurant... people's heads were spinning around to look at us like we were in a scene from the exorcist.
i'm sure i must have shrunk down about 9 inches in my seat. in fact, i tried to bury myself in the stuff on my plate. it didn't work.
"YEAH, I WAS TAKING A SHOWER AND GOD D*MN, I FELT SOMETHING, FELT LIKE A 3RD BALL. YOU EVER DO THAT?"
uh, no sir, never had that happen.
well, as you can imagine, everyone has stopped eating and is leaning over to hear whatever else is gonna be said... i'm not sure why, though, since you could have heard him from cleveland.
"YEAH, SO I WENT TO THE DOCTOR AND HE SAID IT WAS JUST A CYST, NOT A BALL. STRANGE, HUH?"
well, wasn't this a special father and son moment... naturally, i was so embarassed i thought i was going to projectile vomit right there on the spot. as fate would have it, everybody went back to eating their meals ("show's over folks, let's keep moving") and we finished ours and left.
as time's gone on, i've been struck how hilarious this was... both to other people who were watching what was happening and to me, too... i will always remember this tender father/son moment.
i'll also remember to get *my* hearing checked and treated as needed to save my son's from the same fate - or not, just to pay them back
look on their face. Now I'm looking at the waitress and she has this confused look on her face also. Why would someone ask for six, yes six, toothpicks? Well to break the awkward silence, I say to my dad. "Okay Rainman, and do you want some cheeseballs also?" and everyone starts to laugh. As it turns out, he wanted to make corn on the cobb holders and he need six toothpicks so he could break them in half to make two half length holders. :biggrin:
