Before Wedding:
During Marriage:
Divorce:
i love being divorced.:biggrin:
It is a crap shoot, some win some lose:wink: My only advice don't do it too young.
great perspective!I love being married. Couldn't imagine life without my wife.
Those poor guys who are afraid of marriage - you haven't found the right person. When you know, you know. For those poor guys who are divorced - good thing you got rid of the wrong person.
Not all true. I have a few friends that are miserablely married but would rather be married and miserable than be alone. But these are people that were married very young and have no clue of being single and independent. IMHO that is the wrong reason to stay married.Honestly? Yes.
What do you expect us to say? If we didn't like being married, we wouldn't be married. It isn't like Divorce is taboo anymore.
P
Not all true. I have a few friends that are miserablely married but would rather be married and miserable than be alone. But these are people that were married very young and have no clue of being single and independent. IMHO that is the wrong reason to stay married.
Not all true. I have a few friends that are miserablely married but would rather be married and miserable than be alone. But these are people that were married very young and have no clue of being single and independent. IMHO that is the wrong reason to stay married.
Al Bundy said:Yeah, I am married, but I am miserable! Unfortunately for me, and my family I fear being alone so much that I will continue to endure, and inflict my misery on those closest to me.
Love being married. I think my situation is a bit different than most people though.
As for raising someone else's children I would never do it. I dated lots of women with children from other relationships and I was dating them for one thing and one thing only. I would never marry someone who already has children unless they were grown and out of the house. It make me want to stay healthy as I don't want anyone else raising my daughter.
Renee and I get along very well and don't argue at all, in fact we have lots of fun. She puts no demands on me and I put none on her. We share everything without forcing each other to do so. If there is one "insert food item" left and it's 11 at night I will be more happy to see her have it then to eat it myself. If I tell her I am having a bad day she says what can I do to take some stress off you? If I have been out all day and call her on the way home to let her know I am coming she will fill the Jacuzzi for me and have it ready when I get here. She know me backwards and forwards and I know her the same way. We have lots of fun together.
Her parents have been together for ~40 years. I get along great with mother and father. She gets along great with my mother. Renee is like have a best friend. We have a lot of fun together.
I know this post will get me in trouble but here it goes:
While you are single, the biggest mistake you can make it to focus all your energy on one woman only. If you are single, you need to have many women in your life. Yes, you can give priority to one over another, but pouring all your energy into one is a mistake. Typically, a lot of guys do just this and they wind up marrying the one they have this "investment" in. "Do I really want to do this all over again?" is a very common question they ask themselves pre-marriage. The issue for many single guys is that they lack the skill and knowledge as to how to attract and handle a lot of women, and so they do what they do. This is a learned skill. It doesn't have to do with how tall you are or how much money you have. It is a skill your dad doesn't teach you nor does anyone in school. It is a critical skill that most guys do not even know about, until they meet someone who is truly skilled. It is an eye opening experience.
Nothing wrong with marriage. You can't run around forever. There is a time when you will prefer to take a more settled route. That time comes much sooner for women than men. A woman needs to really have her future secured sometime no later than her 30's. A man's time limit comes much later. It is about the ability to find and secure a proper mate. A man can be attractive to many women well into his 50's even. Most men that are able to secure attractive young women while they are 40, 50, 60, do. Michael Douglas. Donald Trump.... many others.
The decision of marriage when coming from a place of abundance is different than the decision of marriage based on various fears. Marriage that does not come from the place of abundance will be more taxing on the individual. Many of the same skills that I spoke of earlier that help attract and keep multiple women in your life when single, still apply in marriage. If you never learned them, you will have a harder time.
Many guys pour an immense amount of energy into keeping a good marriage. Nothing wrong with that, and in a way almost admirable. But they don't realize it can be a lot easier than it is.
A while back I said that if you always listen to a woman, she will eventually create a boring relationship between the two of you. Then she will blame you for being boring, and eventually want to get rid of you. A lot of guys think it is all about compromise and give... but if you are one that gives all the time, your mate is slowly losing her attraction for you. Many men dread a woman's anger for example, but it is a necessary component that will appear at times. What may bring some short term discomfort is actually better long term. As an example, a woman finds out that you spent some time with another woman. The initial reaction is always anger. Most guys believe that here they are losing points, that they are losing her attraction and love, when quite the opposite is true. A woman will find you more attractive when you are attractive to other women. She may deny you sex for the night, but later on she will have a greater level of attraction for you. She will never verbalize any of this, because it is not happening on a conscious level. Even she is not aware of it. This is why getting advice on women from women is a bad idea. They can only tell you about what they feel on a conscious level.
A good marriage in my opinion requires long term attraction, not just a level of comfort. If you are the kind of guy that tried to create attraction by buying flowers and being a gentleman when single, you will continue to do the same things when married. If you didn't understand the basic principles of attraction and emotion when you were single, you probably haven't understood them after marriage either.
You are asking "do you guys like being married", but the answer to that question has a lot less to do with marriage than it does with the understanding of women that the guy has to begin with. If he has a high level of understanding, then he will be happy, married or single. If he doesn't, then he will be miserable either way.
There is a dillema that many women find themselves caught in. The circuitry in their brain tells them that they must mate with the most attractive male and bring about the highest quality offspring, but they also need that attractive male to stay put and not leave, thereby decreasing the chances of the offspring's survival. This is the knight in shining armor story. They want the male that can have any woman, but chooses her for some unique quality about her. The dillema is there, because the attractive male has a choice of many women, and most likely will not stick around because his brain circuitry tells him to mate with as many attractive women as possible. So what happens? Most women will have sex with the attractive male, but marry the one they believe they can count on sticking around. Even after marriage, that raw draw to the attractive male often causes cheating and infedility.
What women find attractive in men, and what men think women find attractive in men are two different things. So the few men that know the secret, the ones that know exactly what women find attractive (which as I said even the women don't know on a concious level) sleep with most of the women. I think the last statistic I read is that 90% of women sleep with 10% of the men. The other 90% of men are really not getting their share. It is because they lack the skill that I spoke about earlier in this post, the skill that is also critical to happiness within marriage.