My gf's parents are driving me crazy with their DEBT problem! Solutions?

[Airwolf NSX]

Hey PRIME

My gf's parents have several credit cards and are paying 25% interest or more on them. Now it may be easy for you guys to say, "Just ignore them." but i cannot. I have to give them money to help make ends meet. It's really frustrating at the moment.

Is there anything they can do to help eliminate the debt? Filing for Chp 7 and 13 isn't a good option at the moment. From what another lawyer said, because they still have a large amount of equity in their property, it isn't advisable.

Should they consider debt consolidation?

Note: English isn't their first language so it's difficult for them to manage things on their own.

 

[BATMANs]

Hey PRIME

My gf's parents have several credit cards and are paying 25% interest or more on them. Now it may be easy for you guys to say, "Just ignore them." but i cannot. I have to give them money to help make ends meet. It's really frustrating at the moment.

Is there anything they can do to help eliminate the debt? Filing for Chp 7 and 13 isn't a good option at the moment. From what another lawyer said, because they still have a large amount of equity in their property, it isn't advisable.

Should they consider debt consolidation?

Note: English isn't their first language so it's difficult for them to manage things on their own.

She hot?

Sex good?

If not: move on..........

 

[Airwolf NSX]

She hot?

Sex good?

If not: move on..........

lol. She's worth marrying.. Definitely worth it.

It's just that the parents drive me crazy with their debt problems. Hell, i just took care of their loan modification.. Talking to the bank everyday is pain.

 

[BATMANs]

lol. She's worth marrying.. Definitely worth it.

It's just that the parents drive me crazy with their debt problems. Hell, i just took care of their loan modification.. Talking to the bank everyday is pain.

hope it's worth it, since this can get worse............... and u might be left lurky around on the cavalier forums.......

 

[davidf]

No matter how much you love/adore her, their debt is'nt your problem. Sounds like you will be faced with a lifetime of their money issues if you don't put your foot down at some point. I feel for ya. Thats gotta be stressfull.

 

[ediddynsx]

Good luck man....tough decisions......one thing for sure is take away their credit cards, so they can't use them and just try to pay them down asap......also you can call the credit card companies to get them to lower the rate.

If not take airwolf out and blow up the creditors.

 

[SilverStone05]

It's not the most honorable option, but if they can't pay and are stuck asking you, it's probably better than the CC company getting nothing.

Credit card debt is unsecured. You can negotiate with the card issuers for pennies on the dollar. All you have to do is call them. You don't need a lawyer or some debt consolidator.

The thing is - if you negotiate a settlement and pay off the cards....are these people going to run them back up? The card issuers don't always close the card in those situations. In addition, the majority of the debt forgiveness is taxable....are they going to pay taxes on the amount that was forgiven?

Just an option.

How's the girl with her money?

 

[DarthMaul]

If they have LARGE amount of equity on their home as you say. They should get a HELOC or equity loan to pay off those 25% credit cards. Loans attached to the home are mostly rated under the unsecure credit card interest rates.

I suggest you stop paying for the Girl friends parents mess unless you get something out of it. Like a percentage of the property. You are basically throwing money away. Her parent can advise her to dump you so they can cut ties with you. Unless you have millions and dont mind helping, But seem like you are frustrated.

Money is a evil thing and it really can change people.

They seem pretty financially irresponsible to begin with. Its harsh but that is a character flaw. It seems like you are a good person but this situation is totally not in your favor.

A friend of mine dump this totally hot asian model once she asked to borrow money. It not good to mix money with relationship.

 

[Big_D]

No matter how much you love/adore her, their debt is'nt your problem. Sounds like you will be faced with a lifetime of their money issues if you don't put your foot down at some point. I feel for ya. Thats gotta be stressfull.

+1

The more you help, the more they will rely on your help. If you think its bad now, if you ever get married its only going to get worse. The best thing to do is to give them advice and tell them that you can't help them anymore.

 

[tosugrad]

+1

The more you help, the more they will rely on your help. If you think its bad now, if you ever get married its only going to get worse. The best thing to do is to give them advice and tell them that you can't help them anymore.

I agree. You are treating only symptoms, and not the problems.

Stop giving them money, for sure! Hand out something WAY better, though. Advice. If you don't know what to say, find someone (a book maybe) that does.

 

[Deltron Zero]

She's worth marrying.. Definitely worth it.

That makes it sound like your relationship is contingent on your support of her parents. That's no good. If she would not be supportive of your decision not to help her parents financially then she's got to go.

 

[sahtt]

Short term solution for a long term problem.

 

[queenlives]

Hey PRIME

My gf's parents have several credit cards and are paying 25% interest or more on them. Now it may be easy for you guys to say, "Just ignore them." but i cannot. I have to give them money to help make ends meet. It's really frustrating at the moment.

Is there anything they can do to help eliminate the debt? Filing for Chp 7 and 13 isn't a good option at the moment. From what another lawyer said, because they still have a large amount of equity in their property, it isn't advisable.

Should they consider debt consolidation?

Note: English isn't their first language so it's difficult for them to manage things on their own.

incomplete information provided, but it seems a challenging situation at best, eh?

if they've got equity in their home, you're helping them manage their situation and giving them money, it seems to me they have little reason to modify their behavior by taking the monkey off your back.

probably an unsustainable situation... something's gotta give, but why should it be you?

my vote would be to let (make) them find an atty they're comfortable with (culture, language, etc) and step away so they can handle it themselves. this will likely have some form of impact on your relationship (you/gf; you/them/family) but perhaps it's a good means of rinsing things out a bit to see the situation more clearly.

 

[queenlives]

Short term solution for a long term problem.

sahtt,

in what sense do you mean? (though i suspect we view the situation pretty much the same)

 

[NSXGeek!]

Obviously, your involvement in their finances is debatable, however I would recommend to do this if you are involved...

If they have at least 20% equity in the house, getting a home equity line of credit should be easy. The rates are around 5-6% now. With the lower rate and longer term, this should reduce the monthly payment requirement. However, if they are paying 25% on the credit cards, I assume their credit has been affected and this may affect the rate of the HELOC. Regardless, make sure they are repaying the HELOC in a timely manner. Use the HELOC to pay off the credit cards, and cancel them. Once this is completed, have them address the root of why they have more debt than they can afford including credit education.

Good luck!

 

[gdae]

The bad swimmers will pull down every good swimmer in the economic pool in order to stay afloat. They will drown you.

However. If you’d stated that you had debt problems, I’d say 1. Cast around for alternate sources of financing in order to pay off those cards and at least get a manageable rate, while you 2. Work a second job for awhile.

Money does weird things to people. When it is all over with, I’d expect nastiness more than gratitude.

 

[Ryanmcd2]

Have fun with that, I did that one time then the GF takes YOUR money and give it to her folks. I would move on.

 

[Alleykat]

This reminds me of me and my older brother.Im 24 and my bro is 32.He completely sucks at handling money.Right now hes in some debt I would say around $10k.Even though I wanna help,guess what? Just like you,I already tried,I explained what he should do and he didnt learn from it.He just went back and got himself back into a higher number of debt.It sucks but its not my problem or ever was to begin with.

If you keep handing over money then they are gonna depend on you more and more.They are older than you and should know how to make grown up decisions.

 

[Thanhnsx]

+1

The more you help, the more they will rely on your help. If you think its bad now, if you ever get married its only going to get worse. The best thing to do is to give them advice and tell them that you can't help them anymore.

+1

You worked hard for your earnings. They put themselves in debt then they need to learn how to take themselves out of debt. Provide them with guidance and helpful saving tips not with your money! Keep on doing it and one day when you can't help them with money.. then what?

 

[Alleykat]

+1

You worked hard for your earnings. They put themselves in debt then they need to learn how to take themselves out of debt. Provide them with guidance and helpful saving tips not with your money! Keep on doing it and one day when you can't help them with money.. then what?

They find a new son in law.

No seriously find another way of helping them besides giving up your cash.Get them the knowledge they need since they dont speak good english.If you dont mind me asking,how bad are they in the hole now? And what did they buy!? Man good thing I only have 2 credit cards and they both have $1k limit.I like paying cash anyways.I only got them to build up my credit.

 

[sphy1005]

Is there a reason for them getting into debt? Did they lose their jobs or do they just not manage money well? I can understand lending some money for the right reasons. If it's because they just spend more than they make then I say screw it and just give advice. If its to help them get back on their feet then help what you can without getting yourself into debt.

 

[peiserg]

if someone with bad spending habits asks me for cash to help them 'get back on their feet' I tell them to sell their car. then they can be on their feet full timey

 

[flaminio]

I have to give them money to help make ends meet.

You must either resign yourself to the fact that you will be giving these people a portion of your hard earned money for the rest of your life, or find a new girlfriend.

Ever hear the phrase "the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree"? When you marry a girl, you're marrying in to the entire family. It's a package. There are lots of nice girls out there without farked up families, who won't bleed you dry. My recommendation is to move on.

 

[swbatte]

CC companies will negotiate - on the principle, but very easily on the interest rate. If they won't play ball shop the debt around, I'll bet they can do way better than 25% - especially if they secure it against a house. As you say, the cards have to be chopped up immediately, or they will run them up again.

 

[sahtt]

sahtt,

in what sense do you mean? (though i suspect we view the situation pretty much the same)

The problem is their poor money management combined with the fact they think they are entitled to our friend's earnings. These two factors will not change even if he gave them 10,000,000 dollars.

In fact, oddly enough, these traits would only increase in severity proportionally to the extent he helps them.