Rob,
I can completely commisurate with you on this matter. I recently spent an entire weekend hunting down an annoying rattle.
One thing to check would be the components mounted on the rear firewall. If you remove the upper trim piece, it will expose a number of parts. The noise may ultimately get louder with the upper trim removed. If you refer to 20-37 (pg 863) of the service manual it shows the three clips that secure the upper part of the trim. By using a broad based, non-marring, pry, you can pop those three clips off.
I have found two sources of noise on the firewall. One is the ECU computer. Somehow the metal that covers the electronics alters in someway over time and begins to rattle on the ECU's primary frame. The other was the headlight motor controller. Though on this, the plastic rubbed on another piece of plastic creaking a nerve wracking noise.
What I found during my expedition hunting down the noise was that it seems some of the components start making odd noises as the plastic & metals age. Fortunately, none of it affects the performance of our cars, just our minds.