The Joy of the Ride, a rally review

[prova4re]

The Joy Of The Ride

This is me

THE SUSPECTS > DEEPAK - DUSTIN - JOHN

​

*The 1st rule of a Rally is...never leave your wingman!

I get into LAX on Wednesday, April 18th, only to find my wingman Deepak left me at the airport. His flight got in a few hours early and he decided he didn't want to wait for me. Our other buddy Jerry (aka John Luke Picard) missed his flight. He called to tell us that he would fly in on Friday, the day before the rally started. The only other person that was suppose to fly in that day was Richard. This was Richard's first rally so he got the nickname "Rally Bitch". We brought him along to shoot some photos. Dustin was arriving later in the day in Deepak's Porsche.

Richard and I find our way to the hotel in Santa Monica, only to find out that the hotel had no idea what the Joy Ride Rally was and didn't have reserved rooms for us. I knew right then and there that it was going to be a long, long week. After some phone calls , we get everything straightened out. Dustin shows up after his 3000 mile drive from DC and we all decide to go out drinking. Most of the other drivers wouldn't be there for another 3 days.

My copilot John was arriving on Friday. You may remember John from "Mischief V Dynasty". He owns the old school white Porsche 911 with the huge whale tail that was on the 2004 Players Run. John also helped Dado get out of his felony evading charge in Kansas.

JOHN'S PORSCHE. AS SEEN IN MISCHIEF V DYNASTY.

John had his new Murci shipped to the hotel and it arrived on Thursday night for me to fondle. Of course we had to take her out for a shake down run. I told John that we had to drop the Murci off to get stickered up, hehe. Roy Cats joined us on this short run in his new long beach blue LP640. This thing was sick as hell, with its blacked out wheels with blue lips and blacked out taillights! The most expensive LP at the time!

A couple other cars joined us on this run including Deepak's 996, a Spyker, a 355, and a yellow GT3. We hit a gas station first to refuel. As soon as I pull in, 2 girls came up to the Murci and asked for a ride. I get one of their numbers and offer the girl a ride. But Rally Bitch cock-blocked me by refusing to give up shotgun and drive the girl's WRX. Richard was definitely living up to his name.

We drop the whips off at Exotic Car Wraps (ExoticCarWraps.com) and head back to the hotel for some more drinking. About 4 hours later, we decide to drunk dial one of the chicks to see if she would come out and play. To my surprise her mom picks up the phone and says she is in bed sleeping. The girl had a mid-term exam in the morning. I felt like a dirty old man! You know the kind that wears the driving gloves with the holes in them and drives around the mall in a hot car looking for young girls to pick up. After that, I decide to head to bed.

FRIDAY - PREP DAY​

We head to Exotic Car Wraps in the morning to help sticker up the cars. On the way there I get a call from Jerry saying that he missed his flight again and he was trying to bail out altogether. Jerry is a bit of a flake so it didn't surprise us when he called. Deepak and I decided to teach him a lesson. We found a pic of Jerry online (thanks Leiter!) and we got a few hundred 3" round stickers printed up with Jerry's head in the center with the word's "Where's Jerry?" along the bottom. We also got about 50 full sized cutout stickers of just Jerry's head. We planned on tagging up America with Jerry's head during the rally.

We had a few fake plates made

We leave the sign shop in the early afternoon and I take John's new whip back to the hotel. I get no more than 3 blocks and get lost, lol! I pull an illegal U-turn right in front of this cop! We come up to a light and the cop pulls up next to me. "Yo, Mario Andretti. Nice 'Student Driver' sticker!". I thank the cop and ask him where the hotel is. He tells me I should have taken a map class before the driving school and then he takes off.

I manage my way back to the hotel just in time for the pre-rally dinner at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. on the Santa Monica pier. There were about 25 of us there but no sign of any of the rally organizes. Now I have done a couple rallys before and I know how hard it is to pull one of these events off. You have to hype the hell out of it and hope half of what you tell people turns out the way you said it would or no one will show up. So its no surprise to me to see the last minute scramble from the people who are putting this event on.

Its funny to see some of the first timers who expect to get everything catered to them on a silver plater just because the spent 8k to 10k on a event! They start by complaining on how bad the food is (at the restaurant). Then they whine about the organizers not being on time. Then some of them don't want to drive their cars in the rain, etc, etc. Bunch of babies! The organizer never makes it to dinner so we all have to pay for our own meals. I have never seen such a cheap group of exotic cars owners in my life. Its not as if we were eating at some swanky restaurant or something - hell they were all ordering burgers and shrimp! We paid our bill and went back to the hotel to drink.

I hung out with the couple who own a orange Gallardo most of the night. They told me that their car had never seen rain and it had never gone over 85mph. I was afraid that most of the rally participants were going to like them. I end up ordering them a few drinks and get drunk pretty quickly. The owner of the Gallardo said he would take care of the bill so I thanked him and went to my room to pass out. While checking out the next morning, I find out that the Gallardo guy signed my name and room number on the $356 bar bill. Not surprising.

SATURDAY - DAY 1
SANTA MONICA, CA to PHOENIX, AZ - 370 MILES​

Friday morning I wake up to a text from Jerry saying he is bailing one of his employees out of jail and he will meet us on the second day in Phoenix. John shows up at the hotel with great news...it was his birthday, his divorce was final, and he gets to drive his new Lambo for the first time! We roll to the pier and find a lot of cars already there. We are surprised to see some friends from other rallies on the pier hanging out. There were about 45 to 50 cars lined up but only half are stickered up completely. We didn't let the small turn out bother us because we have a lot more fun with a smaller group of people.

OUR CAR

ROY'S LP640​

Our buddy Evil John brought out a fleet of cars for the rally...

HIS MACHBACH 62​

HIS BENTLEY GT​

​

HIS HOLLAND BUILT SPYKER SPYDER C8. DRIVEN BY JOY RIDE ORGANIZER​

HIS CLK DTM. 1 OF 100 PRODUCED. 1 OF 5 IN THE US. ABOUT $350,000.​

ONE OF HIS CHOPPERS​

HIS COBRA​

​

HIS GIRLFRIEND ​

THE MAN HIMSELF!​

 

[Devin@AEM]

Looking good Brian!

The only guy I've ever seen take a shot of Botox to the head like a...well..like a man.

 

[Acura NsX Pilot]

That DTM was so sick ..... Ohhh and the sound at WOT.

 

[redshift]

What is that baby blue car behind the SLR in the carnival pic?

 

[Da Hapa]

What is that baby blue car behind the SLR in the carnival pic?

Vector.

 

[Eclipsed]

I didnt think vector ever actually produced anything other then concept art?

 

[prova4re]

Its a Vector series 2.

 

[prova4re]

SATURDAY - DAY 1
SANTA MONICA, CA to PHOENIX, AZ - 370 MILES​

Everyone lines up on the pier and waits for the film chopper to show up. When the start flag drops we follow the police escort through downtown Santa Monica. The chopper is about 6 stories off the ground and flies sideways so the cameraman can film the cars zigzagging through the streets. After about 30 minutes of this, we hit the freeway and the 3 CGTs blast off followed by Oliver's SLR and the Spyker. They quickly blow pass us while we hold back to film the rest of rally cars getting onto the freeway. 20 minutes later the highway traffic slows to a craw. About a 1/4 mile to the right, we see police lights and 3 rally cars pulled over; the silver CGT, the Spyker, and the SLR. Over the walkie talkies comes this loud voice, "Stupid is as Stupid does!" Roy told us at the start of the rally if we see someone who needs help on the side of the road to pull over and help them. I told John to stop so I could lend a hand with my video camera. Dustin and Deepak in the Porsche stops with us. I walk back to the cars that were getting tickets and the cops start yelling at me to get back in my car. I quickly pull out my camera and say that we were shooting a video and the cop demands that I show him a press pass so hand him the only ID I had in my pocket. He reads it...

"My given name is Benjamin Buford Blue, but people call me Bubba". The confused cop asks, "what the hell is this?"

The trivia card from the Bubba Gump restaurant didn't go over well as the cop yelled at me to take my gumpy ass back to that "Itailin rocket" and sit there until he came back.

​

The police gave the first three rally cars tickets and then let them go. A couple cop cars left and only one officer remained. He told us that we was going to have to give us a ticket for stopping in an emergency lane. Deepak gets pulled out of his car and put into the back of the cop car. Dustin snaps a couple quick pics and I secretly film. Another cop officer rolls up.

About 10 minutes later, Deepak comes out of the cop car with a big smiles. Turns out the cops find out that John is a lawyer, and that's its his birthday, and that he just got his divorced finalized that day. "Lieutenant Dan" (no joke that was his name) had just got his divorce settled the week before so we end up sitting around for 20 minutes swapping ex-wife stories. After taking some pics with the cops, they let us go and told us, "tell your buddies I will reduce their tickets from speeding down to coasting on the highway". He then rips up one of the other guy's tickets and says have a good day.

We head off to palm springs to meet up with the rest of the pack, but by the time we show up most have already had their lunch and were ready to head to Phoenix. The other half of the pack ends up turning around and heads to LA. Ashley Van Dyke ("Jenny" as the boys were calling her) decided to make a early exit with a few other drivers in the 350Z.

FUN WITH LOCAL TALENT

​

"I'M NOT A SMART MAN, BUT I KNOW WHAT LOVE IS"​

We decide not to wait around too long because John had a hot date in AZ waiting for him. We leave without Dustin and Deepak and fly to AZ.

LOOKS LIKE JERRY IS ALREADY HERE!​

​

We manage to burn through $205.00 dollars in gas in less than 5 hours. While shifting from 5th to 6th, (one of the gears we tend not to use for some reason) the gear shifter breaks off in John's hand! The car is now stuck in 6th gear and we have no way to shift, so we burn all the gas that we can and just coast to the Valley Ho hotel. At the hotel, I wait outside for the rest of the people to show up. Only 18 cars ended up at the hotel. Most had turned around or broke down, never to be seen again. Big John shows up 4 hours later in his Cobra with his blow up doll/co pilot riding shot gun. He must have stopped and had some fun along the way.

John looked like a red lobster from all the sun. I guess his support crew of 20 people got lost. Most of them had some sort of navigation in their cars but couldn't find the hotel, so John had to wait for them to catch up.

Turns out there was a women's shoe conference at the hotel where we were staying at, so the cougars (recently divorced women hunting for guys) were out in full force. Jerry was spotted there a few days before as his mug shot was left behind under the sign.

 

[prova4re]

SUNDAY - DAY 2 - TRACK DAY
PHOENIX, AZ
BONDURANT RACETRACK​

Now I wasn't excited to go to Bondurant since the Murci was broke. When I learned that Evil John was bringing 3 trucks full of cars to race around and that he was allowing all of us take them on the track, I was skeptical. I was surprised when I got to the track and Evil John had his cars lined up for all of us. There were 2 Lotus Elise cars, 2 race prepped Lotus cup cars, the CLK DTM, the Cobra, the Bentley GT and the Maybach 62. Yeah thats right, he raced the Maybach around the track but he did take the 36 bottles of Cristal out of the trunk before hand. To top all that off, Evil John had one of his choppers fly in and film us ripping up the track.

Now that is straight up GaNgStA!

The silver CLK DTM was freaking awesome at the track! It made the best drivers smile when they got out, and the worst drivers look like they knew what they were doing. The regular CLK is a chick ride for me but after seeing this DTM version up close and on the track, I was sold! Its fat fenders and carbon fiber interior must be seen in person and the lack of rear seats and F1 paddle shifters tell you its no joke.

The car runs on 105 octane that's hard to find on a trip like this, so Evil John brought along eight 55 gallon drums of race fuel in one of his support trucks. Now if I only had 500k lying around and 105 octane fuel truck following me around I would be a true PlAyEr!

Evil John also brought a couple brand new Lotus cup cars. The cars were so new that this would be Evil John's first time driving them. After he wedged this 6ft 4inch frame in there, there wasn't much room for anything else, lol! I've driven a Lotus on the track before and there's no other car I can think of short of an F1 car that can keep up with this thing! It was crazy quick in the corners, and loud as hell in the straights. The CLK DTM was the only thing that could stay in it's rear view mirror.

After watching big John rip up the track in all his toys it was time for the rookies to test out their own cars. There was the newbie in a blue 355 that down shifted on the back straight and over-reved his engine causing the rear tires to lock up and he spun before he even reached the back corner. The car and embarrassed owner limped off the track as the trans was making a really bad clicking sound. His rally experience was over.

Then it was team EXTREME!'s turn. They took to the track in their "235mph 600hp" BMW M5. We all knew that these guys were going to do something crazy! First time on the track + 600hp = great video fun! The low profile tires, or better yet, rubber bands just screamed at every turn. Bets were being placed in the pit as to what turn and how long it would take for these guys to spin out. I was in for 20 bucks (2nd lap in turn 7) unknown to them the kitty got up to $400 before they got out there. If Evil John wasn't all ready racing his Cobra with his blow up doll passenger around the track, I am sure the pot would have grown by a factor of 10.

Team EXTREME! made it all the way around the first lap and came into turn 7 at a high rate of speed, with 25 or so onlookers along pit row snapping pics or videotaping. Now I'm sure you have seen the Arab drifting videos on YouTube before. Team EXTREME!'s driver Josh managed to do 4 high speed power S's in front of everyone and somehow recovered it! The people yelled "EXTREME!" when they went sliding by. Everyone geared up for round 2 as the M5 came back around the track. This time the "other" camera crew dropped their lunches and came running out of their tents. The chopper was in the air with a cameraman hanging out the side. Team EXTREME! came screeching through the last corner by the pits like an Arab drift video gone wrong. People scrambled for cover as the M5 starting drifting out of control and started to do 360s. Dirt went flying everywhere as soon as the car slide off the track.

I won the bet but the amount still didn't cover the Murci's gas bill from the day before! After the dust settled the only damage was that one of the rubber band tires came off on the passenger side. Team EXTREME!'s attitude was like, "F$A# lets fix it and do it again!". I looked over at the cheapskate in the orange Gallardo who was watching from his car and I said, "did you see that?" He replies, "Mama says they was magic shoes. They could take me anywhere."

At this point, we were sunburnt as hell. Being from Canada, I was not use to the AZ sun so I jumped in the Maybach and went back to the hotel. Tough life, huh?

 

[NSXLuvr]

Wow - that sounds like fun.

MORE MORE MORE!!!

 

[prova4re]

DAY 3
PHOENIX, AZ TO LAS CRUSES, NM
318 MILES
​

The next morning we have to go to Scottsdale Lamborghini to try to get the shifter fixed in the Murci and tell everyone that we'll meet them later down the road. Evil John would hear nothing of it and suggests we all wait as a group. We get to the dealership and find about 8 Lambos outside in line to get fixed. The dealership wouldn't look at the car for another week and were actually pretty rude to us. We decided to head over to the Lotus dealership a couple blocks away to see if they could help us. We arrive to find a couple Lambos being worked on in the Lotus service bay. I wonder if service at the Lambo dealer is so bad that people bring their Lambos to this Lotus dealer...

The Lotus tech went to work and gave us a temp fix. To replace the entire shifter, it would take a week at the cost of $9,800.00. I guess if you can afford to buy the car, then you can afford to pony up for what should have costs $50 for any other automobile.

While we were at the Lotus dealer for 5 hours, we got bored and decided to slap some more stickers on the cars. We had some fake plates made and when everyone saw them they slapped them on there cars. Most of the cars on the run didn't have plates to start with, because they were from CA or running with temp tags/dealer plates.

Evil John got bored of waiting and decided he wanted to drive an Enzo the rest of the way. The problem was he just sold his yellow one and the red one he was trying to buy was wrecked. So he made some calls to a local guy who had a black one for sale. Evil John started working on the deal but the guy wouldn't give it up THAT day - he wanted to think about it. Evil John tells him that he has 2 hours then the deal is off and hangs up on him. The Murci gets done a few hours later thanks to all the guys at Lotus of Scottsdale. We take some quick pics of what is left of the drivers and some of our new friends and roll out to NM together.

About 3 hours later we pull over at a gas station for lunch. As soon as we all park, AZ state cops roll up and start writing down everyones plate numbers. The cop sees Roys LP640 and writes down the fake plate on the front that reads "Mischief", then goes over to the CLK DTM and laughs at the front plate that says "Small Penis".

The cop goes over to the Maybach that has 2 rear plates on it, and is so confused as to what plate is the real one. He then asks for the proof of ownership and finally figures out that they were all fake plates.

The cop warns us that they were going to be waiting for us for the next 86 miles to the border and if we go over 74 mph we where going to jail. So Dustin and I decide to have a little fun with one of the cops when he wasn't looking.

It was a slow and boring ride the rest of the way to Las Cruces, NM.

Our friend Rachel met us at our hotel in NM, she was driving back from the Express race in Mexico. We all had dinner at a dude ranch in the middle of freaking nowhere! There wasn't any alcohol served at this place so Evil John called up one of his drivers and had some bottles of Cristal and expensive bottles of wine delivered to us. Dustin got wasted really fast!

By the time we get back to the hotel, the local bars had closed so most of us just ended up hanging out front of the hotel by our cars. With no alcohol left, team EXTREME! busted out the fireworks and started passing them around. What started out as a little bit of fun quickly turned into roman candle war and no one was safe, not even the cameraman (me). Some lady on the 9th floor started yelling at us for being too loud. The next thing you know the bottle rockets were flying at her window.

After 30 minutes of this horseplay, I started to wonder why Dustin and the guys in the H2 Hummer had not arrived yet.

 

[prova4re]

TUESDAY - DAY 4
LAS CRUCES, NM - AUSTIN, TX
548 MILES

We cross close to the border and the highway abruptly ends at a border check point, team EXTREME is leading the way as we pull into the station. There are a few border guards there asking what country your from. The BMW rolls into the check point and the k9 dog starts going crazy around there car, it even starts to jump into the rear window. We figure the dog smells all the fire works in there trunk that are left over from the night before, or at least we hope that is it. They tell the EXTREME crew to pull over, and wave us through, just then a cop cop jumps behind the crew and turns on its lights. We ask what is going on and the Border patrol tells us the girl in the 350 that was just thru here a hour ago warned us you guys where coming, he then tells us to go as all the attention has now turned to the BMW. Not wanting to break rule #1 We drive out and pull over a little ways down the road, to wait for our EXTREME wing man. We stop and wait for 45 minute until one of the passing motorist yell out they arrested your boys. Now that IS EXTREME!

We need gas so we go to the next exit and wait to see if they show up.​

After where done filling up this old couple came up and told us they have the BMW ripped apart and all the guys are in cuffs.

This rally just became a bad game of survivor as there where only 3 cars left, and the 350z just voted the BMW off.

At this point there is nothing we can do but move on to the lunch check point 2 hours away, as we get close to town there is a truck following us in our blind spot. Now the blind spots in a Murci are EXTREME, so its hard to see the big white truck with the gun rack in the back widow that we just cut off. We roll into this town in the middle of know where and start looking for the steak house, there are 5 of them in town and 4 are closed. This isn't a good sign and this white truck is still following us, we pull into the only open steak house and so does the truck.
The doors swing open and out jumps four mexicans yelling at us in spanish, I guess they loved the car and just wanted to take some pics with it.
We say sorry about cutting them off and decide to treat them to a steak dinner, after all its the least we could do.....and besides lunch is paid for by the rally and with no other rally cars left we decide to sticker up there truck to make it official.

Turns out they had seen Jerry a day before we got there.​

Prime rib for everyone, we even make them get a few doggie bags to take home to there family.​

We need to catchup to Jerry​

About a hour later as we were just getting done eating some of the support crew started showing up, we shook hands with them and handed them the bill ,as we left with our new friends and there doggie bags in tow.
We said our good byes and hit the road before the rally guys had a chance to read the bill.

Don't ask me how but I know this but the the Texas Rangers are no joke and will pull you out of your car with a M16 aimed at your head, for that reason we decide its in our best interest to drive in the safest manner possible. About a hour into our drive we run across the Rangers sitting there waiting for us, they pull us over right away. Some how we just happen to be doing the speed limit so they had little reason to pull us over, The Ranger said he had never seen a Lamborghini up close and he wanted a better look, we offered to switch cars for a day but he was having none of that. We took some pics with our new friends and the let us go with a fix it ticket for not having the plate in the right spot.

We stop for gas again and my co pilot John pulls the ultimate wing man move, he gives me his keys to his brand new Lamborghini so I can give this hot chick a ride. He jumps in her the rental mustang and follows along, the 6 cylinder car was no match and some how we lose him along the way. About a hour later we drive past a couple Texas Rangers that where sitting in the median talking. As we fly buy we give him a case of whiplash, but some how they never came after us.

About 10 minn later we get a text that John got pulled over for 105-mph in a 55-mph zone, I guess thats as fast as the Mustang would go.
We where running out of gas again to the point where the car was chugging up the hill, so we pulled over to this little store that had 1 gas pump,with 88 octane in it.

We got 5 gallons and headed to the next exit, the Lamborghini didn't like it one bit, it was missing and would even go over 5000 revs. We get to the gas station and put 2 cans of octane boost and $80.00 worth of 94 octane just as John pulls up in the rental.
He was not a happy camper to say the least, the Rangers that pulled him over said there was no way they could catch us, so they took it out on him and wrote him up for the full 105-mph.

Looks like drinks are on me the rest of the trip.
We finally arrive at the hotel, as we pull up the door man opens our door and asks if he can lend a hand. I look up and there is Jerry!

We found him at last, or he found us.​

 

[prova4re]

The mustang pulls up right behind us with his face plastered all over it.​

We went out drinking at a local club with what was left of the rally drivers and support crew, when this bachelor party walked in. Wasting no time they came over and asked us to buy them all drinks. Dustin fell for it and ended up a few hundred bucks lighter in the wallet, after he ran out of money they stared working the rest of the room until they over herd us talking about the Rally. Like true gold diggers they jumped right into our conversation with a million questions. Most of us played dumb and said we just worked for the rally, John was in the bath room so I decided to make up for the speeding ticket that he had just got by telling the girls that he was a tv star and he drives the Lamborghini that was parked in front of the hotel. The girls grabbed him as he came out and said they all wanted a ride in his car, John bought them all a round of shots and as he did I decided to sneak out and move his car around the block.

He shows up a few minutes later with 6 girls in tow all there to see his car that was no longer there, he freaked out at the valet guys for moving it. They explained they didn't even have the key so how could they move it, he called security and demanded they bring his car to the front of the hotel or he was going to sue them. 5 of the gold diggers started yelling at him for dragging them out in the rain to see his car that he didn't even own. They called him a poser and then left, the best looking gold digger stayed as the valet was her friend and said that he did have the car here a half our ago. The security guard came up and told him where the car was parked and they both went for a ride, about a hour later I herd the gold diggers voice at the door of our room. Not want to be like Richard the "Rally Bitch" I went and found another place to sleep that night.

The next morning we went down stairs for the start, looked around and the only cars left were the 996, 350z, Lamborghini, and the yellow hummer, so I went back to the hotel room and went back to bed. About a hour later I wake up to "Rally Bitch" shaking the hell out of me,
he is yelling we need to go now because everyone is leaving for the race track. "Now I am not a smart man" but I do know that they can't have any fun on a rally or race track with a Hummer and 2 support trucks. The rest of us are sleeping in so you go ahead to the track with out us.


About noon I get back up too the sound of my phone blowing up, the joy ride guys left 6 messages and "Rally Bitch" had left 4, when I got down stairs they were getting mad because the track was rented out from 12pm to 5pm and we were not there yet.
I told them we would meet them there and went to go eat, everyone else showed up and we decided to go strait to Houston and skip the track as Roy was waiting for us at the Lamborghini dealer. The Rally was over for the most part in our eyes as there was no one left but us, we had found Jerry so our task was done. Come to think of it, it was over when Big John pulled his 16 cars, 3 semi trucks, and 2 choppers out and went home the day before. But we didn't want to break the 9th rule of the rally, no quitting early.
The only problem was we had 3 cars with 6 seats and Jerry was now the odd man out,
so we said good bye to him as he took a cab back to the airport and flew home.

It was a boring un eventful ride to Houston, but it did rain.​

" We been through every kind of rain there is. "Little bitty stingin' rain... and big ol' fat rain. Rain that flew in sideways. And sometimes rain even seemed to come straight up from underneath. "

It was student drivers day.​

We caught Dustin sleeping in the car, I called Deepak who was driving and he informed me that Dustin was so hung over he just passed out. We then signaled to Deepak to start swerving from lane to lane to wake him up. We dropped back behind him to film is and 2 lane changes later his hazards came on signaling us to pull along side of him.
As we did we could see Dustin puking into a plastic bag. He filled the bag and Depak pulled over and slammed on his brakes, Dustin didnt make it all the way out of the car before offering up his 200 dollar dinner from last night. We remembered Roys rule to pull over and lend a hand for some one in distress, so I again went running over to help out with my video camera. Dustin was begging us to take him to the hospital as he thought he had been drugged last night or had alcohol poisoning but that fell on deaf ears as we all knew better.
He was in the median in a fetal position wallowing in his own little puddle yelling I think I am going to die, just then Jenny walks up and says "Mama always said dying was a part of life".

We get back on the road and get a call from Roy saying he is all ready at the dealer waiting for us and we need to be there by 5pm as they are closing, John said he had enough and is going to drop off the Lamborghini there to get shipped back with Roys car. We then tell everyone else we need to fly solo so we can get there in time. The next 3 hours of driving went by in a big hurry, the roads were flat and you could see for miles with out any traffic. We find a clean stretch and let it rip and hit 328kl for a few minutes, the gas gauge was dropping like a rock.
We get to the dealer and Roys had all ready sold his LP640 to a guy and bought a baby blue Gallardo spider, all of the sudden we are now the dealers best buddies as they broke out the wet bar and stayed open until what was left of the rally showed up.

The guys a Lamborghini Houston went out of there way to drive us to the hotel about a half hour away, when we get there they had no rooms for us, the Joy ride crew had canceled our rooms because we skipped the track, and on top of that the hotel was sold out. When we called them to see what the problem was they said since we didn't go to the track our rally is now over and they don't have any rooms for us.
The Rally crew were still 4 hours away so we went to another hotel that had rooms about 45 minutes away.
Funny thing is the Joy Ride Rally people had all of our luggage on there trucks, so we couldn't figure out why they had thought we all went home. We had to fend for our self's for the rooms and dinner that night, this upset "Jenny" and she decided to bail out and go to the airport in the morning with John and Roy.

For the first time on any vacation I have ever been on I went to bed before 9pm as there was nothing to do.
I woke up and we all went back to the Lamborghini dealer because Roy had to sign the paper work on his new car, turns out Lamborghini North America wouldn't let him buy the car and take it out of state. So he had to leave empty handed, Deepak decided to fly out with everyone else.
That left me and Dustin in Deepaks 996, and the yellow hummer to finish the rally, then we get a call that team EXTREME has just got out of the pokey and flew in. We meet up with 3 out of the 4 of them, the driver and the car were still getting held in New Mexico, and they wanted 25k to get them out. We made the "Rally Bitch" drive 'Jennys" car to New Orleans, he was from there so we figured he would lead the way. After the first hour of leading we never saw him again, he just took off and never looked back. Total rookie "Rally Bitch" move.
So it was the yellow Hummer and us, the guys in the Hummer wanted to swap cars so I said I would. Big mistake, the truck had no ac a nice nav and huge system but the screen was cracked so you couldn't see were you were going, and the buttons didn't work because it was touch screen. The amp would cut out after 10 minutes, and all you could hear is the big fat mud tires . The truck wouldn't go over 103 mph and drank gas faster than the Lamborghini, needless to say I never saw the 996 again until we got to the hotel 5 hours later.

We roll up to the front desk and run into the same problems, no rooms and no one from the rally is there to help us out.
"Rally Bitch" was in his home town and no were to be seen, I finally get a room after going through the list of peoples names and lying to the guy when I told him my name was Mr Lopez.
Its late so Dustin and I head out to Bourbon street to tear it up, a few hours later we catch up to some of the support crew and a few of the EXTREME team.

 

[prova4re]

"Rally" Bitch" finally calls me and tells me to be ready at 6-am to go shoot a Mac F1 and a Enzo the next morning, I don't remember too much after that.
As we didn't get in until 530-am, I woke up it was 2pm and the Joy ride people wanted to go check out the 8th ward to see how bad the damage still is. We decided the 996 was not the car to drive through that area as it would draw too much attention, so we all piled in the Hummer.
The place looked like a ghost town, with a few trailers on the side walks that people are living in.
It was truly sad and humbling too see all the damaged and destroyed homes.
The Joy Ride is donating some of the entry fees too the Katrina fund, but after the tour it was clear that no matter how much money you donated it wasn't going to be enough. New Orleans will never fully recover from this, I just hope the cash goes to some thing positive in such a negative place.

It all ended 2500 miles later were it started, at the Bubba Gump Shrimp company.
No flag girl waving the checked flag in short shorts, no champagne to pour over some ones head. Just a valet at the hotel asking when the hot chicks in the exotics are going to show up.

Rule number 10 of Rally 101.........You must cross the finish line.

Dustin and I were the only drivers that did it, even the "Rally bitch" Richard didn't make it and he lives there. Even the seasoned Rally drives who know better DNF.
So now I struggle to come up with a conclusion to this Rally, it started out with a bang and quickly folded up like a house of cards. There are so many Rallies out there right now, that its tough to keep track of them all. The organizers were some on the nicest people you would want to meet, but in the "Rally world" its a game of one up-men ship and the nice guys didn't even make it to the finish line. We had a lot of fun along the way, it was a learning experience for ALL the people involved.

"That's all I have to say about that."............until the next Rally.

The Mischief.tv crew​

Brian (prova4re) left, Lamborghini owner John (the mouth piece) right.​

Dustin on the left, 996 owner Deepak on the right.​

Watch for us on the Navigators Run, June 17th to the 22nd.
KC, Denver, Vegas, New Mexico, Dallas, Wichita.​