Your "better half", or lack there off?!?

[Osiris_x11]

Ehhh, I was just meandering around and came across this...

http://www.nomarriage.com

I am beyond words after skimming some of the content!

 

[pvmike]

"Why marriage used to work, but no longer works."

 

[steveny]

"Why marriage used to work, but no longer works."

Most probably won't believe me but the above is pretty close to how my wife treats me. in return she gets whatever she wants. Fact is if she wasn't this way I wouldn't be with her. I am fairly old fashion when it comes to relationships. My grandfather told me find a way to make a lot of money and a women like your grandmother that makes sure you spend as little of that money as possible. I have NEVER cooked dinner and probably never will. on the flip side my wife won't ever have to do the jobs I have to do on my side of the relationship. We have been together now for 11 years and I don't see an end anywhere in the distant future.

 

[MiamiMermaid]

Most probably won't believe me but the above is pretty close to how my wife treats me. in return she gets whatever she wants. Fact is if she wasn't this way I wouldn't be with her. I am fairly old fashion when it comes to relationships. My grandfather told me find a way to make a lot of money and a women like your grandmother that makes sure you spend as little of that money as possible. I have NEVER cooked dinner and probably never will. on the flip side my wife won't ever have to do the jobs I have to do on my side of the relationship. We have been together now for 11 years and I don't see an end anywhere in the distant future.

Well put.

Both the man and wife have their individual places in a relationship (however they decide to define it). It's a partnership, not an ownership. I personally like a hint of 'old skool' but in the realm of both partners appreciating and taking care of one another, in whatever way works.

 

[sahtt]

A lot of that seems to come from the 'bitter' crowd but I do agree most american raised women that are relatively well off seem to be lacking character compared to foreign women I've dated. The best girl I've ever dated character wise was actually very rich, but when she was younger she was supposedly not attractive. She was still very modest and sweet as I got a hold of her just as she "bloomed". I'm from a very "modest" financial situation and I have no patience for superficial girls with little to no respect for anything and that spend most of their time poinltessly spending money, gossiping about celebrities [ZERO interest there, ZERO], talking down about other people, etc.

I have no intentions of getting married anytime soon but I've heard stories of people with extremely satisfying marriages. I have never seen it with my own eyes though.

 

[medusa]

A good marriage is like seeing a nsx on the road. Few and far between but when you do see one it does bring a smile to your face.

 

[jond]

Related to this thread, I always have older guys warning me to not get married.

The first time it happened, I thought he was joking, but he told me the same thing like 3-4 times. I finally asked him if he's joking and he assured me he's not joking at all.

And it happened again last night. I was working with a consultant who's probably 8-10 years older and he said the same thing. Almost out of the blue. I asked him if he was serious, and he said yes.

What are youguys thoughts? Is marriage a bad idea?

 

[steveny]

Related to this thread, I always have older guys warning me to not get married.

The first time it happened, I thought he was joking, but he told me the same thing like 3-4 times. I finally asked him if he's joking and he assured me he's not joking at all.

And it happened again last night. I was working with a consultant who's probably 8-10 years older and he said the same thing. Almost out of the blue. I asked him if he was serious, and he said yes.

What are youguys thoughts? Is marriage a bad idea?

Not sure what you consider young. I am 41 and my wife is 28. My life has only become better after getting married. We were together for a long time before we got married. I personally think marriage is great and we have yet to have any problems. I can tell you from my perspective the same is not true for a good percentage of other couples I know. However, I don't have any friends who have been divorced. We all stick together in good and bad times, us and our couple friends. If anyone needs support we are there for them. We have choice friends we spend a lot of time with and we all do have a lot of fun together. I like to hang around with the younger crowd, it keeps me young.:biggrin:

 

[WingZ]

Man that stuff is true!

No I'm not selfish guy. I do all the house and yard work , buy my wife stuff and even ask her if there's anything she needs me to do for while she's at work. Oh well what can you do ... LOL

 

[clr1024]

Related to this thread, I always have older guys warning me to not get married.

The first time it happened, I thought he was joking, but he told me the same thing like 3-4 times. I finally asked him if he's joking and he assured me he's not joking at all.

And it happened again last night. I was working with a consultant who's probably 8-10 years older and he said the same thing. Almost out of the blue. I asked him if he was serious, and he said yes.

What are youguys thoughts? Is marriage a bad idea?

I have heard this said by many an older gentlemen. Its tough, I think the issue is I see mostly problems in marriages as opposed to couples that really work well together. A good marriage can be a great thing...a bad marriage can be hell. I have seen many people go through divorce, its quite discomforting.

 

[TurboLexus]

Related to this thread, I always have older guys warning me to not get married.

The first time it happened, I thought he was joking, but he told me the same thing like 3-4 times. I finally asked him if he's joking and he assured me he's not joking at all.

And it happened again last night. I was working with a consultant who's probably 8-10 years older and he said the same thing. Almost out of the blue. I asked him if he was serious, and he said yes.

What are youguys thoughts? Is marriage a bad idea?

jon...anybody that thinks he knows what's best for you is mistaken. Marriage is for some ppl, not for others. It definitely takes a ton of work and patience...similar to restoring an old car :smile: . I definitely recommend living together first. Like anyone else will tell you, communication is key, and choooose your battles man, and get her to do the same.
BTW, I have the full version of that article above, attached it to the fridge 2 years ago....she went absolutely ballistic. I was actually afraid to go to sleep .

 

[deedubb]

Sweet. I just got engaged 2 days ago

 

[WingZ]

jon...anybody that thinks he knows what's best for you is mistaken. Marriage is for some ppl, not for others. It definitely takes a ton of work and patience...similar to restoring an old car :smile: . I definitely recommend living together first. Like anyone else will tell you, communication is key, and choooose your battles man, and get her to do the same.
BTW, I have the full version of that article above, attached it to the fridge 2 years ago....she went absolutely ballistic. I was actually afraid to go to sleep .

LOL I got your good wife knows her place right here ... LOL

Sweet. I just got engaged 2 days ago

Dude your golden... just make sure it's a looooooooong engagement ...LOL

 

[Ryanmcd2]

lol, the problem I have is sorting through all the bullshit people put out. Cut the BS and shoot it straight. Also if you have to choose your battles, or change what you enjoy doing then something is wrong. Also remember this. "Nothing better then a good marrage, nothing worse then a bad one"

 

[01blacks4]

Related to this thread, I always have older guys warning me to not get married.

The first time it happened, I thought he was joking, but he told me the same thing like 3-4 times. I finally asked him if he's joking and he assured me he's not joking at all.

And it happened again last night. I was working with a consultant who's probably 8-10 years older and he said the same thing. Almost out of the blue. I asked him if he was serious, and he said yes.

What are youguys thoughts? Is marriage a bad idea?

no its not....marring the wrong person is a bad idea....marry some one you like, not only love...things work better that way.....

and keep some things seperate...no reason that you have to become one person in everything you do

 

[peiserg]

I've been married for 8 yrs now. love my wife (most of the time). she cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, puts out most of the time, has a job along with a phd/masters, speaks a few languages, is still attractive, and hates spending money.

i still say don't get married.

quote from the site...had me rolling..

So you come home from your day at work, and you see this fat fuck in polyester stretch pants. "I took Dakota to the doctor and he has ADD. And Ashleigh has the flu and I think I have a scratchy throat too. And the voyager makes a ping ping sound so you have to take it down to the garage. And I think I damaged the springs under the front seat when I loaded my 400 lb ass onto it while strapping and unstrapping and adjusting and unadjusting the rear facing child safety seats while it took me 45 minutes to load and unload the screaming little treasures in and out of the car."

 

[Dan Ciezniewzki]

its funny how the older people than have experience in life all tend to say the same thing. Ive learned over the years to listen to them and put a great deal of importance and thought into their advice.

Alot of things on that page are rather sad, but even worse, likely very very true.
It seems in the end woman always chnage and not for the better. Finding one with any character and that not interested in all the material BS is nearly impossiible.
Their points of foreign girls seems to be pretty good too. They are the ones that arent obsessed with money and materials and have ethics and morals and care about treating you well. Ild have no problem treating someone well if they truely cared about my welbeing and what they canget next outta me.

without rambling, Ill likely be alone since good and moral woman dont really exist today, and for the ones that do, why would they want to put up with me for?? lol

 

[Dan Ciezniewzki]

I've been married for 8 yrs now. love my wife (most of the time). she cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, puts out most of the time, has a job along with a phd/masters, speaks a few languages, is still attractive, and hates spending money.

"

shoot, Ild marry a girl like that!...minus the lil heathens :tongue:

 

[OzzieJohn]

To those who lived as a couple for a long time before getting married - does anyone care to share what difference taking the plunge made?

My partner and I have been living together for 7.5 years. With so many divorced & remarried people in our families, and no kids to wonder why Mummy and Daddy have different names, we don't see that tying the knot has any great significance.

OTOH, some good friends of ours announced their engagement a year ago, and since then planning the wedding day has been the biggest thing in the world. Most weekends are taken up by wedding-planning-related activities. Given that they've been living together for over 5 years, to me it just seems like they're investing a tremendous amount of time and parents' money on what is essentially a party and a holiday, after which things won't have changed one bit for them...

Or will they? Am I missing something fundamental?

 

[sahtt]

To those who lived as a couple for a long time before getting married - does anyone care to share what difference taking the plunge made?

My partner and I have been living together for 7.5 years. With so many divorced & remarried people in our families, and no kids to wonder why Mummy and Daddy have different names, we don't see that tying the knot has any great significance.

OTOH, some good friends of ours announced their engagement a year ago, and since then planning the wedding day has been the biggest thing in the world. Most weekends are taken up by wedding-planning-related activities. Given that they've been living together for over 5 years, to me it just seems like they're investing a tremendous amount of time and parents' money on what is essentially a party and a holiday, after which things won't have changed one bit for them...

Or will they? Am I missing something fundamental?

I have no doubt you are on to something. It seems the majority of people I know [young] are not focusing on what marraige is 'supposed' to be all about these days. As crude as this sounds, it's the only justification for women for sexual relations that doesn't make you appear to be "improper" while providing you with an excellent reward to risk ratio.

On the flip side for guys, we don't need any justification in today's society [generally speaking] and the financial obligations are extensive.

Unless the woman has great character [I dated one girl for over a year that fits these requirements-they are out there] and is truly devoted/understanding/giving etc. I see many costs and very few benefits for the man. You just have to be extremely cautious and think with your brain and not anything lower than that..

 

[JAYS NSX]

Am I missing something fundamental?

Yes, two things:

1) The desire that the average woman has for a big ass wedding

2) The man to go along with all the plans and expenditures because it will "make her happy"

I have a wife with #1 and five years ago I was #2.

 

[steveny]

To those who lived as a couple for a long time before getting married - does anyone care to share what difference taking the plunge made?

My partner and I have been living together for 7.5 years. With so many divorced & remarried people in our families, and no kids to wonder why Mummy and Daddy have different names, we don't see that tying the knot has any great significance.

OTOH, some good friends of ours announced their engagement a year ago, and since then planning the wedding day has been the biggest thing in the world. Most weekends are taken up by wedding-planning-related activities. Given that they've been living together for over 5 years, to me it just seems like they're investing a tremendous amount of time and parents' money on what is essentially a party and a holiday, after which things won't have changed one bit for them...

Or will they? Am I missing something fundamental?

For us, my wife and I were together for a long time before we got married. Getting married was something she wanted more than I did but it is something I really wanted to do for her because she has been so good to me. Also we wanted to have at least one child and I don't want to have a child with someone I am not married to. Her parents paid for the entire event, they rented a vineyard. It was beautiful. She signed a pre-nup without ever batting an eye once. She is not about taking what is not hers.

I personally feel that marriage before you are 35 or done sewing your oats is a really bad idea. I had a blast when I was younger 18-early thirty's, some of the best times of my life. If I had gotten married back then it wouldn't have mattered if it was mother Teresa in Jessica Beil's body it would have never worked out.