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Exposing Nsxpo
- Thread starter Super Sleuth
- Start date
It's Like This
Well, UFO (I'll use your code name) before good 'Ol Jake stepped into the picture I was kind of the unofficial "Undercover Modification's Intelligence Officer" (titles seem to be important here in the local chapter, so I jumped on the band wagon like everybody else did) here in the "Sack of Tomatoes" Area (as Jake would say). So with that being said, I'm still kinda connected, if you know what I mean.
But as any good investigator knows when somebody as large as Jake the Super Sleuth steps into the picture, my part time gig is nothing compared to 'Ol Jake, so I just gave him the tip.
My source also revealed some rear end modifications, and I'm not talking about Jake's Dame either.
Well, UFO (I'll use your code name) before good 'Ol Jake stepped into the picture I was kind of the unofficial "Undercover Modification's Intelligence Officer" (titles seem to be important here in the local chapter, so I jumped on the band wagon like everybody else did) here in the "Sack of Tomatoes" Area (as Jake would say). So with that being said, I'm still kinda connected, if you know what I mean.
But as any good investigator knows when somebody as large as Jake the Super Sleuth steps into the picture, my part time gig is nothing compared to 'Ol Jake, so I just gave him the tip.
My source also revealed some rear end modifications, and I'm not talking about Jake's Dame either.
1UFO 2C is diguising his Supercharger
I'm all over this guy like a cheap suit. I got so much dirt, I need a bigger wheelbarrow.
But now for you, I might need a dump truck.
I'm all over this guy like a cheap suit. I got so much dirt, I need a bigger wheelbarrow.
But now for you, I might need a dump truck.
I'm only trying to help
Aw, come on Jake, ease up a little, take another swig of your "Ice Cold Hamm's". I was just trying to help you out, even a small time investigator stumbles into the right place at the right time. I was just giving you a reliable tip, I don't know if your local so I thought I would help you out, you know "scratch my back I'll scratch yours", kinda deal.
Don't worry, this is a good tip, me and this guy go way back, he's the kinda guy thats "On the Street" with the know, if you know what I mean.
Aw, come on Jake, ease up a little, take another swig of your "Ice Cold Hamm's". I was just trying to help you out, even a small time investigator stumbles into the right place at the right time. I was just giving you a reliable tip, I don't know if your local so I thought I would help you out, you know "scratch my back I'll scratch yours", kinda deal.
Don't worry, this is a good tip, me and this guy go way back, he's the kinda guy thats "On the Street" with the know, if you know what I mean.
EXPOSING NSXPO PART 4 THE TRACK EVENT
Hey folks. Me again…………Yeah, you guys were awfully quiet for a long time, so I wasn’t sure what you were thinking about my expose`. I was hoping it just wasn’t important recently because you were all concentrating on the Comptech SC auction. Well, needless to say, everyone’s a winner on that one. Somebody got a sweet deal and a bunch of notoriety for buying it and all the NSXPO attendees get more bang for the buck from the added sponsorship. Just like a Friday nite at the Blue Note, it’s all schhhhhhwweeeet.
Well, even though Hrant is trying to smoke me out, I’m gonna take a gamble that ya’ll won’t find me and run me out of town like Roseville did. (Hey, it’s all in fun, really) And since the total recall election has got me rollin on the floor holding my sides, I may as well tell you about another little secret I got from Hrant. I finally got him down to the Blue Note, but just for lunch. Prolly couldn’t get such an upstanding distinguished entrepreneur in there after dark. But anyway, there he was at high noon, having a cold one when his phone goes off. The most god-awful sound; something like tires screeching. He looks at me with a smirk. “That’s me late braking into Turn 1 at Thunderhill. Or is that Ted spinning in Turn 4? I don’t remember.” He answers the phone. It’s Big Al. Personally? I always stay away from anybody named Big Al. Hrant rolls his eyes. “Now calm down Al. Yes, I’ve been following the Ahnold story………………YOU WHAT?!!!! Filed for the gubernatorial recall election? Where did you learn that word anyway? “ He winks at me. “Al’s jerking my chain, says he’s gonna run for governor. “ <long silence> “Well, no Al, I can’t be your campaign manager, I’ve got an NSXPO to run, remember? Yes, yes, I know,………… Sure, you’ll always be the Fearless Leader, but the election is exactly one day before NSXPO, you do the math.” He holds the phone away from his ear and looks at it funny and says to me: “He’s doing the math, you can hear the scribbling from here.” Back on the phone he says “Right Al, sad but true. See ya. I have an appointment at Fabrication Specialties.”
I tag along with him down to the “Fab Spec” shop. Thought I’d better get some fresh air, but mostly cause V-Tec’s working and I don’t like being intimidated by the barmaid with a screaming eagle tattoo on her constantly flexed bicep. On the way down Hrant tells me that Fab Spec is one of the NSXPO sponsors, and does the body and paint for Comptech and all the big guns around here like boy racer Tom Brady, which my G-2 says is Sacramento’s answer to Paul Tracy.
When we get there, there’s a black speckled white NSX parked out front. There’s a guy wearing a Jerry Garcia tie, a pocket protector and wing-tips talking to some tall guy. I sneak a glance at Hrant. “Psssst……….What’s up with this? Nice touch on the tie, but a tie? Who wears a tie these days? I wear a tie, but I’m just kidding. He looks as serious as a heart attack.” I was ignoring the rest of his get-up since my dad was an engineer and I kinda like the offbeat look of wing-tips myself. Hrant winks……… “That’s Ted, our resident engineer, track junkie and ardent “non-polisher. He never gets excited. At club meetings we have to take his pulse sometimes to make sure he’s still with us. But right now, it looks like he’s about to rant about something.”
We listen in to find out that he’s looking for a volume deal on detailing his car. “Well, the problem is I get this track rubber all over my white car every single track day and it’s a pain to clean it off and ………..well I just have to get it cleaned up, ‘cause Sacramento has some serious-ass polishers and posers. They cover their car at club meetings for godsakes. And the dilemma is that even though the track event is the heart and soul of NSXPO, we still got the concours and the polisher posse walking around checking out everybody’s car. I could be thrown out of the Sacto chapter!!!! So you see where I’m coming from, don’t you, Don?” Don smiles and nods sympathetically, “Well, don’t worry about the track rubber. You just bring that white streak in here after your track days and we’ll get her into concours condition for ya every time.”
With that bit of frustration off his chest, Ted gets fired up in a positive way. “Man, this NSXPO track event is going to be so righteous. We are going to have exclusive use of the legendary Infineon Raceway for two solid days.”
Don nods again knowingly. “Understand. That track hosts several nationally televised events, including the American Le Mans Series, World Challenge, and NASCAR Winston Cup, just to name a few. I hear they are booked with events 340 days and 50 weekends a year and it’s called the best road course in the country. And it sounds like you guys scored big since October weather is simply splendid.”
Ted comes back: “We locals have been on it a few times and are still learning all 12 turns, and 2 and ½ miles of this twisty heaven. This monster offers variety and challenge in every turn. At the end of the day, you’ll still be wondering if there isn’t another line to try through the famous turn 11 hairpin.”
Hrant walks over and puts his hand on Ted’s shoulder, making him jump. But of course, it wasn’t far in those 12 pound wing-tips. “Makes an old dawn patrol scout hallucinate, does it?” He winks at Don, “Ted’s our dawn patrol scout, always looking for empty twisty roads up in the hills.” “And Ted, you know what I just heard? They are repaving the whole course this week!! How’s that for fortuitous?” (He did it again; Right there, I promised myself I’d sign up for that “learn a new word a day” course.) Surprised, Ted’s voice booms “Noooooooooooooooo” then trails off like rolling thunder.
Ted’s eyes glaze over and he squints a little. ”You know what it’s like to roll into Turn 1 with barely a lift?” he says to no one in particular. “And turn 2………..Wow, there was the time P.D. Cunningham went through there sideways in his Realtime NSX, and the M3 behind him spun and P.D. drove away and actually waved good-bye.” His head lifts like he’s looking way up ahead and then drops down to the ground. “But wait til you crest the hill at 5 and drop into the carousel for the first time……...you just might wet your pants from the thrill. Remember when they used to let the drainage cross the track there just to make sure you wet your pants? Well that’s fixed now, thank god.”
“And the esses……..I have this video in my head of the American Le Mans’ Audi R-8’s screaming down through there at full song.” He’s sawing at an imaginary steering wheel and doing an air heel and toe. “Being on the track where history was made, it don’t get any better. You see what I’m sayin?” Jeez, I’m thinking, this dude’s over the edge. And he keeps going: “I’ve driven there several times but at the end of every day, I’m still wondering if there isn’t another line to try in that hairpin. On the paint or off? So many lines, so little time.” He stopped, a pregnant pause hanging in the air like a Barry Bonds’ towering shot to right, looked right at me and whispered: “And the best part is that, thanks to Niello’s major sponsorship, the track costs are as low as you will ever see for such a world class track!!” I realized that not only was he out of breath (nothing gets by me) but I was gripping my pager like it was my custom carbon fiber shift knob. (well almost nothing).
After everyone calms down, Ted adjusts his pocket protector, cleans his horn-rimmed glasses and says “Adios”, driving away with NPR just blasting. As we watch him go away happy, I say to Hrant; “Watch out for him, by god. I’ve seen it before, he listened to way too much Warren Zevon in college. Excitable boy, that one.”
Back at the Blue Note, I was exhausted. My new main squeeze, V-tec comes right over to me, puts her red high heeled size 6 up on the chair and straightens her nylon, exposing a tantalizing bit of thigh. “Nice leg” I choked, trying to be precise. “Thanks” she said, “I got another one just like it” being equally precise. The barmaid glowered as I escorted V-tec out for some afternoon delight.
We ain’t done yet……….with the NSXPOse` story that is. In the meantime, don’t wait any longer to sign up………there’s only a limited number of track slots available.
Hey folks. Me again…………Yeah, you guys were awfully quiet for a long time, so I wasn’t sure what you were thinking about my expose`. I was hoping it just wasn’t important recently because you were all concentrating on the Comptech SC auction. Well, needless to say, everyone’s a winner on that one. Somebody got a sweet deal and a bunch of notoriety for buying it and all the NSXPO attendees get more bang for the buck from the added sponsorship. Just like a Friday nite at the Blue Note, it’s all schhhhhhwweeeet.
Well, even though Hrant is trying to smoke me out, I’m gonna take a gamble that ya’ll won’t find me and run me out of town like Roseville did. (Hey, it’s all in fun, really) And since the total recall election has got me rollin on the floor holding my sides, I may as well tell you about another little secret I got from Hrant. I finally got him down to the Blue Note, but just for lunch. Prolly couldn’t get such an upstanding distinguished entrepreneur in there after dark. But anyway, there he was at high noon, having a cold one when his phone goes off. The most god-awful sound; something like tires screeching. He looks at me with a smirk. “That’s me late braking into Turn 1 at Thunderhill. Or is that Ted spinning in Turn 4? I don’t remember.” He answers the phone. It’s Big Al. Personally? I always stay away from anybody named Big Al. Hrant rolls his eyes. “Now calm down Al. Yes, I’ve been following the Ahnold story………………YOU WHAT?!!!! Filed for the gubernatorial recall election? Where did you learn that word anyway? “ He winks at me. “Al’s jerking my chain, says he’s gonna run for governor. “ <long silence> “Well, no Al, I can’t be your campaign manager, I’ve got an NSXPO to run, remember? Yes, yes, I know,………… Sure, you’ll always be the Fearless Leader, but the election is exactly one day before NSXPO, you do the math.” He holds the phone away from his ear and looks at it funny and says to me: “He’s doing the math, you can hear the scribbling from here.” Back on the phone he says “Right Al, sad but true. See ya. I have an appointment at Fabrication Specialties.”
I tag along with him down to the “Fab Spec” shop. Thought I’d better get some fresh air, but mostly cause V-Tec’s working and I don’t like being intimidated by the barmaid with a screaming eagle tattoo on her constantly flexed bicep.
On the way down Hrant tells me that Fab Spec is one of the NSXPO sponsors, and does the body and paint for Comptech and all the big guns around here like boy racer Tom Brady, which my G-2 says is Sacramento’s answer to Paul Tracy. When we get there, there’s a black speckled white NSX parked out front. There’s a guy wearing a Jerry Garcia tie, a pocket protector and wing-tips talking to some tall guy. I sneak a glance at Hrant. “Psssst……….What’s up with this? Nice touch on the tie, but a tie? Who wears a tie these days? I wear a tie, but I’m just kidding. He looks as serious as a heart attack.” I was ignoring the rest of his get-up since my dad was an engineer and I kinda like the offbeat look of wing-tips myself. Hrant winks……… “That’s Ted, our resident engineer, track junkie and ardent “non-polisher. He never gets excited. At club meetings we have to take his pulse sometimes to make sure he’s still with us. But right now, it looks like he’s about to rant about something.”
We listen in to find out that he’s looking for a volume deal on detailing his car. “Well, the problem is I get this track rubber all over my white car every single track day and it’s a pain to clean it off and ………..well I just have to get it cleaned up, ‘cause Sacramento has some serious-ass polishers and posers. They cover their car at club meetings for godsakes. And the dilemma is that even though the track event is the heart and soul of NSXPO, we still got the concours and the polisher posse walking around checking out everybody’s car. I could be thrown out of the Sacto chapter!!!! So you see where I’m coming from, don’t you, Don?” Don smiles and nods sympathetically, “Well, don’t worry about the track rubber. You just bring that white streak in here after your track days and we’ll get her into concours condition for ya every time.”
With that bit of frustration off his chest, Ted gets fired up in a positive way. “Man, this NSXPO track event is going to be so righteous. We are going to have exclusive use of the legendary Infineon Raceway for two solid days.”
Don nods again knowingly. “Understand. That track hosts several nationally televised events, including the American Le Mans Series, World Challenge, and NASCAR Winston Cup, just to name a few. I hear they are booked with events 340 days and 50 weekends a year and it’s called the best road course in the country. And it sounds like you guys scored big since October weather is simply splendid.”
Ted comes back: “We locals have been on it a few times and are still learning all 12 turns, and 2 and ½ miles of this twisty heaven. This monster offers variety and challenge in every turn. At the end of the day, you’ll still be wondering if there isn’t another line to try through the famous turn 11 hairpin.”
Hrant walks over and puts his hand on Ted’s shoulder, making him jump.
But of course, it wasn’t far in those 12 pound wing-tips. “Makes an old dawn patrol scout hallucinate, does it?” He winks at Don, “Ted’s our dawn patrol scout, always looking for empty twisty roads up in the hills.” “And Ted, you know what I just heard? They are repaving the whole course this week!! How’s that for fortuitous?” (He did it again; Right there, I promised myself I’d sign up for that “learn a new word a day” course.) Surprised, Ted’s voice booms “Noooooooooooooooo” then trails off like rolling thunder.Ted’s eyes glaze over and he squints a little. ”You know what it’s like to roll into Turn 1 with barely a lift?” he says to no one in particular. “And turn 2………..Wow, there was the time P.D. Cunningham went through there sideways in his Realtime NSX, and the M3 behind him spun and P.D. drove away and actually waved good-bye.” His head lifts like he’s looking way up ahead and then drops down to the ground. “But wait til you crest the hill at 5 and drop into the carousel for the first time……...you just might wet your pants from the thrill. Remember when they used to let the drainage cross the track there just to make sure you wet your pants? Well that’s fixed now, thank god.”
“And the esses……..I have this video in my head of the American Le Mans’ Audi R-8’s screaming down through there at full song.” He’s sawing at an imaginary steering wheel and doing an air heel and toe. “Being on the track where history was made, it don’t get any better. You see what I’m sayin?” Jeez, I’m thinking, this dude’s over the edge. And he keeps going: “I’ve driven there several times but at the end of every day, I’m still wondering if there isn’t another line to try in that hairpin. On the paint or off? So many lines, so little time.” He stopped, a pregnant pause hanging in the air like a Barry Bonds’ towering shot to right, looked right at me and whispered: “And the best part is that, thanks to Niello’s major sponsorship, the track costs are as low as you will ever see for such a world class track!!” I realized that not only was he out of breath (nothing gets by me) but I was gripping my pager like it was my custom carbon fiber shift knob. (well almost nothing).
After everyone calms down, Ted adjusts his pocket protector, cleans his horn-rimmed glasses and says “Adios”, driving away with NPR just blasting. As we watch him go away happy, I say to Hrant; “Watch out for him, by god. I’ve seen it before, he listened to way too much Warren Zevon in college. Excitable boy, that one.”
Back at the Blue Note, I was exhausted. My new main squeeze, V-tec comes right over to me, puts her red high heeled size 6 up on the chair and straightens her nylon, exposing a tantalizing bit of thigh. “Nice leg” I choked, trying to be precise. “Thanks” she said, “I got another one just like it” being equally precise. The barmaid glowered as I escorted V-tec out for some afternoon delight.
We ain’t done yet……….with the NSXPOse` story that is. In the meantime, don’t wait any longer to sign up………there’s only a limited number of track slots available.
Hey Jake,
Your right about that "Ted" guy he is excitable, the other thing you don't know about the guy is that he jumps out of airplanes for no good reason, can you believe that!
Your right about that "Ted" guy he is excitable, the other thing you don't know about the guy is that he jumps out of airplanes for no good reason, can you believe that!
JAKE IS AWESOME
Hell, I though I liked comedy....but this is simply gut-wrenching!
My bet is that he's.....
Well, I'll save my opinion for the "OFFICIAL" vote on NSXPO.COM
Jake....keep 'em comin'!
I actually re-read your comments when I'm having a bad day!
1UFO 2C
Hell, I though I liked comedy....but this is simply gut-wrenching!
My bet is that he's.....
Well, I'll save my opinion for the "OFFICIAL" vote on NSXPO.COM
Jake....keep 'em comin'!
I actually re-read your comments when I'm having a bad day!
1UFO 2C
He's not the only committee member who has done that. In fact, the event's planning committee is chock full of aviation experience - not only your everyday airplane pilots, but a glider pilot, a seaplane pilot, etc. I hear there is even a committee member who has done a lot of stunt flying (aerobatics)...Kirk Johnson said:
who is this "guy"?
I don't have a pocket protector. That's over the line.
Now think about it. Who's significant other is an English professor with the time to take grains of truth and make all the other stuff up? Well duh !!!
I don't have a pocket protector. That's over the line.
Now think about it. Who's significant other is an English professor with the time to take grains of truth and make all the other stuff up? Well duh !!!
VERY INTERESTING.....
This is quite intertaining to say the absolute least! I have now started to plan my lunch break around getting on the web to visit the prime, just to see any new posts on this thread. I really have to get a life....quickly!
Mr. " '92 White " has FINALLY made a comment regarding the Sleuth. I was wondering why he was on the sidelines for sooooo long!
Although the "professor " comment was well thought out, the S.S. has to be someone getting bits and pieces from some buddies. No one in the Sacto chapter has the free time to post such comedy...considering how everyone is saying how busy they are.
There is a guy in the bay area, that has such humor, who keeps tabs on us in "Sack of Tomatoes" periodically. He has to be the Sleuth! In fact, I'm posting my final "opinion" right now...
This is quite intertaining to say the absolute least! I have now started to plan my lunch break around getting on the web to visit the prime, just to see any new posts on this thread. I really have to get a life....quickly!
Mr. " '92 White " has FINALLY made a comment regarding the Sleuth. I was wondering why he was on the sidelines for sooooo long!
Although the "professor " comment was well thought out, the S.S. has to be someone getting bits and pieces from some buddies. No one in the Sacto chapter has the free time to post such comedy...considering how everyone is saying how busy they are.
There is a guy in the bay area, that has such humor, who keeps tabs on us in "Sack of Tomatoes" periodically. He has to be the Sleuth! In fact, I'm posting my final "opinion" right now...
Hey You
Yeah, you, Mr. heavy hitter in the NSX community. You ain't on the NSXPO attendee list I've scribbled here on my whiskey and coffee stained yellow note pad. What's up with that? Today's the deadline!!! Get your registration in the mail or on the fax before midnite or it'll cost a couple of Jacksons extra or something like that.............I'm not much into details. And that's just for the social registration.
OK, you've been warned. You may now return to your important GNP supporting job. Me? I'm turning over and going back to sleep.
Yeah, you, Mr. heavy hitter in the NSX community. You ain't on the NSXPO attendee list I've scribbled here on my whiskey and coffee stained yellow note pad. What's up with that?
Today's the deadline!!! Get your registration in the mail or on the fax before midnite or it'll cost a couple of Jacksons extra or something like that.............I'm not much into details. And that's just for the social registration. OK, you've been warned. You may now return to your important GNP supporting job. Me? I'm turning over and going back to sleep.
EXPOSING NSXPO PART 5 THE LEARNING STUFF
Well, is everyone signed up for your big NoSeXPO? I hope so, cause the early bird bargain rate is just about a goner. Just like me and dear old Roseville. Too bad Bruce Pettitt's shop is up there because I can’t just cruise up there any ole time I wanna. I know you don’t want to know why, but guess what………I’m still outta work and you’re still reading this, so get ready, because here it comes.
Roseville. What can I say about Roseville? Northern California’s answer to Orange County. Sushi in the mall. The American Dream run amok. No Blue Notes there, just Red Robins and TGI Fridays. You get the picture. I have to drive into town very carefully, since I’d been deported once already. Seems I had violated their “good taste” ordinance one too many times. And the funny thing is, I was wearing my best ½” wide black tie at the time. I admit I did have a coffee stain on my shirt, but the big-busted blonde traffic/public nuisance cop said that wasn’t it, “guess again”. I didn’t’ have time and if I took any more time staring at her chest, I’d be doing time, so I got in my avocado green Integra with the coffee can for a muffler and headed back down the Interstate. Mid town in ole Sacto looks pretty good heading out of Roseville. I don’t get up there much anymore.
Now El Dorado Hills, that’s no prob-lemo. So, to get the big scoop on these two feuding Comptech maniacs that have been going back and forth on this forum recently, I just headed on up there to Comptech . I smell blood and there will be no end of the Kirk and UFO jokes if I have anything to do with it. (Well OK, the truth is, I got an “anonymous” threatening E-mail from Big Al, so I’m laying off of him for awhile. Oh, but before I do, I gotta lay this one on ya: he contacted Mr. Buffett to be on his campaign team as well as on Ah-nold’s, or so he thought. But he didn’t know anything about no “Warren” so he called “Jimmy” in Margaritaville. That’s Big Al………always thinking. OK, enough of Big Al.)
When I pull into the parking lot at Comptech, I see this totally sick, Black-to-the-max, Zymol’d-Up the butt NSX parked ever so delicately between the lines even though there wasn’t anyone else in the visitor spots. I slip in the front door like the Sleuth that I am. There’s a big strapping ZZ Top-Sharp-dressed-man” looking dude chatting with Shad about getting getting the “biggest bang for the buck” and all that. Shad spots me and winks, pulls out a big ole sloppy looking three ring binder and says in his best quiz show booming voice: “Well, OK Brian, let’s just see what’s on the value menu today!!!” Oh yeah, here it is right cheer. Ginned this one up on the wheel of fortune dart board Monday. We got us a special on 6 speeds today;…………… how many would you like? Just pull your shopping cart right over here.” The big guy Brian scratches his head and just grins, trying to catch up on the joke. Bob is howling in his office falling out of his chair.
Now if you haven’t been to Comptech and don’t know these guys, you might be wondering how come there having so much fun with a customer during working hours. Well, and this will be handy to know when you’re up here for NSXPO, they are a small but dedicated shop that supports and develops many of your NSX aftermarket products. Stuffy they ain’t. And if you didn’t know that, I’m sure you don’t know that they built the winning Acura Integra race cars, the exotic Acura NSX-powered Camel Lights prototype that Parker Johnstone drove to several IMSA championships, and provided early development of the Honda Indy V8 engine for CART. AND FURTHERMORE, they are currently an engine supplier in the re-born Indy Racing League. Yep, right up there in the big show. Now keep in mind they build engines, they don’t care which way the car turns. During NSXPO you are going to tour THE shop where leading edge technology for your NSX was born as well as other sophisticated automotive technological achievements. Hell, for you real world guys and gals, check out this endorsement from the Pulp Story Teller hisself talking about the reliability of Comptech’s supercharger. Cogitate on that awhile.
Brian pleads, “C’mon you guys don’t make fun of my mom’s favorite son, help me out here, I just want to feel good and stay ahead of Kirk.”
“Well Big fella”, Shad starts in, you know that before you start buying go-fast “cheatin bastard” parts, you got to know how stuff works and what you can use at your particular level and venue.” For instance, you’re doing the 6 speed, which is great for that feel good ‘MAN, am I fast’ exhilaration, but it may not actually be the fastest in any given corner on any given track……..are you following me? If you have any doubts, do a search on Prime for Ken Sax and track subjects or cut right to the chase here .” “Yeah, you’re right” Brian says, “I should know that since I’m on the planning committee and we’re having such a great line up of tech seminars at NSXPO. Did you know we’re going to have Kent Shepley, the quintessential “Woodwork” to delight us with his special knowledge? He’s worked at Honda for years and takes us on a story-book tour of the car every time. We could listen to him for hours. What a wellspring of insight! And we’re going to hear how brakes work and who needs how much. Yeppar, we got the Bob of Race-technologies, the actual Brembo main distributor going to edu-macate us on what big brakes do and more importantly, what they don’t do.”
“But hey” Brian croons, caressing his smooth flawless cheek with his baby soft calf-skin driving glove, “I wanna feel sooooooooooo good too.” His voice flows like late night sax at the Blue Note. “Sure, I know that engraving the 4:55 ring and pinion with my wife’s name isn’t going to keep me ahead of that Tom Brady character, but she’ll feel all warm and fuzzy knowing that she’s reving me up so to speak. Oh and obviously I’d appreciate it if you don’t tell Kirk that.”
“Hey pal”, I break in, “there’s open mike night down at the Blue Note every Sunday. I don’t know what you play, it could be a kazoo, but you’re a natural. Hell, just slap the tables like a drum keeping rhythm, we don’t care. And bring your ring and pinion’s namesake too. It’s a romantic interlude for sure.” He looks at me like Superman when Jimmy’s being a pest. Apparently I caught him off guard, as they say. I quickly turn to intently study the pictures and notices on the wall, and mumble, “Just a theory, like relativity and geometry, it don’t always fit.”
Getting back to what he knows, Brian goes: “And we’re doing the basic but important stuff too: tire tech from none other than Yokohoma. Oh yeah, everybody needs to get themselves to a point where they can appreciate and effectively use a good set of tires. It’s the first go-fast part to get after some quality instruction and seat time…………which there will be plenty of at NSXPO.”
Being very politically correct and ever so sensitive, I notice that Brian did not mention that there’s always other learning going on that’s kind of an NSXpose~. Like the new and “unofficial” stuff you’ll learn about out in the parking lot. Can you say Forced Induction? Serious frickin Forced Induction. All the new kids on the block will be there with their toys and variations on supercharging, turbo charging, and nitrous, etc. etc. Dali’s coming, Gerry lives just down the road, Basch’ll be there for sure. Group M will be there. Well, you get the idea. You’ll see things you won’t believe and your local buddies who stayed home ain’t gonna believe what you saw either, so bring a camera and lots of batteries and memory chips, ‘cause it’s gonna be a field day.
Checking his messages, and looking stressed, Brian had to go………..work was calling. As he adjusted his Tommy Bahama sunglasses and ran out the door, he yelled back, “Now don’t forget, I want an 8x10 semi-glossy photo of that engraving on the ring and pinion and in a carbon fiber frame. Anniversary’s coming up and nothing’s too good for my honey.” There’s another explosive outburst in Bob’s office. Jeezus, this Sacto chapter’s got one of every kind, don’t they? What a cockamammy bunch!!
Long after dark, I’m relaxing on the patio, burning a Lucky Strike at the Blue Note, with my arm around V-tec. I don’t even try to relate this bizarre stuff to her. We just sigh a lot and star at Mars hanging in the sky. I mentally drift off, checking off my self-assigned tasks: I’ve just about covered all the NoSexPO stuff, I’ve thoroughly exposed (and pissed off) most of the Sacto chapter, amused the local sponsors and wore ole Hrant out. What’s left? Hmmmmmmmmmm not much. Well there’s the light weight fun stuff and that’s about it. V-tec breaks my concentration. “Hey big boy, got any more Rolling Stones I should hear?”
Alright, I grin to myself……….. Here we go again. It’s going to be a long nite.
Well, is everyone signed up for your big NoSeXPO? I hope so, cause the early bird bargain rate is just about a goner. Just like me and dear old Roseville. Too bad Bruce Pettitt's shop is up there because I can’t just cruise up there any ole time I wanna. I know you don’t want to know why, but guess what………I’m still outta work and you’re still reading this, so get ready, because here it comes.
Roseville. What can I say about Roseville? Northern California’s answer to Orange County. Sushi in the mall. The American Dream run amok. No Blue Notes there, just Red Robins and TGI Fridays. You get the picture. I have to drive into town very carefully, since I’d been deported once already. Seems I had violated their “good taste” ordinance one too many times. And the funny thing is, I was wearing my best ½” wide black tie at the time. I admit I did have a coffee stain on my shirt, but the big-busted blonde traffic/public nuisance cop said that wasn’t it, “guess again”. I didn’t’ have time and if I took any more time staring at her chest, I’d be doing time, so I got in my avocado green Integra with the coffee can for a muffler and headed back down the Interstate. Mid town in ole Sacto looks pretty good heading out of Roseville. I don’t get up there much anymore.
Now El Dorado Hills, that’s no prob-lemo. So, to get the big scoop on these two feuding Comptech maniacs that have been going back and forth on this forum recently, I just headed on up there to Comptech . I smell blood and there will be no end of the Kirk and UFO jokes if I have anything to do with it. (Well OK, the truth is, I got an “anonymous” threatening E-mail from Big Al, so I’m laying off of him for awhile. Oh, but before I do, I gotta lay this one on ya: he contacted Mr. Buffett to be on his campaign team as well as on Ah-nold’s, or so he thought. But he didn’t know anything about no “Warren” so he called “Jimmy” in Margaritaville. That’s Big Al………always thinking. OK, enough of Big Al.)
When I pull into the parking lot at Comptech, I see this totally sick, Black-to-the-max, Zymol’d-Up the butt NSX parked ever so delicately between the lines even though there wasn’t anyone else in the visitor spots. I slip in the front door like the Sleuth that I am. There’s a big strapping ZZ Top-Sharp-dressed-man” looking dude chatting with Shad about getting getting the “biggest bang for the buck” and all that. Shad spots me and winks, pulls out a big ole sloppy looking three ring binder and says in his best quiz show booming voice: “Well, OK Brian, let’s just see what’s on the value menu today!!!” Oh yeah, here it is right cheer. Ginned this one up on the wheel of fortune dart board Monday. We got us a special on 6 speeds today;…………… how many would you like? Just pull your shopping cart right over here.” The big guy Brian scratches his head and just grins, trying to catch up on the joke. Bob is howling in his office falling out of his chair.
Now if you haven’t been to Comptech and don’t know these guys, you might be wondering how come there having so much fun with a customer during working hours. Well, and this will be handy to know when you’re up here for NSXPO, they are a small but dedicated shop that supports and develops many of your NSX aftermarket products. Stuffy they ain’t. And if you didn’t know that, I’m sure you don’t know that they built the winning Acura Integra race cars, the exotic Acura NSX-powered Camel Lights prototype that Parker Johnstone drove to several IMSA championships, and provided early development of the Honda Indy V8 engine for CART. AND FURTHERMORE, they are currently an engine supplier in the re-born Indy Racing League. Yep, right up there in the big show. Now keep in mind they build engines, they don’t care which way the car turns. During NSXPO you are going to tour THE shop where leading edge technology for your NSX was born as well as other sophisticated automotive technological achievements. Hell, for you real world guys and gals, check out this endorsement from the Pulp Story Teller hisself talking about the reliability of Comptech’s supercharger. Cogitate on that awhile.
Brian pleads, “C’mon you guys don’t make fun of my mom’s favorite son, help me out here, I just want to feel good and stay ahead of Kirk.”
“Well Big fella”, Shad starts in, you know that before you start buying go-fast “cheatin bastard” parts, you got to know how stuff works and what you can use at your particular level and venue.” For instance, you’re doing the 6 speed, which is great for that feel good ‘MAN, am I fast’ exhilaration, but it may not actually be the fastest in any given corner on any given track……..are you following me? If you have any doubts, do a search on Prime for Ken Sax and track subjects or cut right to the chase here .” “Yeah, you’re right” Brian says, “I should know that since I’m on the planning committee and we’re having such a great line up of tech seminars at NSXPO. Did you know we’re going to have Kent Shepley, the quintessential “Woodwork” to delight us with his special knowledge? He’s worked at Honda for years and takes us on a story-book tour of the car every time. We could listen to him for hours. What a wellspring of insight! And we’re going to hear how brakes work and who needs how much. Yeppar, we got the Bob of Race-technologies, the actual Brembo main distributor going to edu-macate us on what big brakes do and more importantly, what they don’t do.”
“But hey” Brian croons, caressing his smooth flawless cheek with his baby soft calf-skin driving glove, “I wanna feel sooooooooooo good too.” His voice flows like late night sax at the Blue Note. “Sure, I know that engraving the 4:55 ring and pinion with my wife’s name isn’t going to keep me ahead of that Tom Brady character, but she’ll feel all warm and fuzzy knowing that she’s reving me up so to speak. Oh and obviously I’d appreciate it if you don’t tell Kirk that.”
“Hey pal”, I break in, “there’s open mike night down at the Blue Note every Sunday. I don’t know what you play, it could be a kazoo, but you’re a natural. Hell, just slap the tables like a drum keeping rhythm, we don’t care. And bring your ring and pinion’s namesake too. It’s a romantic interlude for sure.” He looks at me like Superman when Jimmy’s being a pest. Apparently I caught him off guard, as they say. I quickly turn to intently study the pictures and notices on the wall, and mumble, “Just a theory, like relativity and geometry, it don’t always fit.”
Getting back to what he knows, Brian goes: “And we’re doing the basic but important stuff too: tire tech from none other than Yokohoma. Oh yeah, everybody needs to get themselves to a point where they can appreciate and effectively use a good set of tires. It’s the first go-fast part to get after some quality instruction and seat time…………which there will be plenty of at NSXPO.”
Being very politically correct and ever so sensitive, I notice that Brian did not mention that there’s always other learning going on that’s kind of an NSXpose~. Like the new and “unofficial” stuff you’ll learn about out in the parking lot. Can you say Forced Induction? Serious frickin Forced Induction. All the new kids on the block will be there with their toys and variations on supercharging, turbo charging, and nitrous, etc. etc. Dali’s coming, Gerry lives just down the road, Basch’ll be there for sure. Group M will be there. Well, you get the idea. You’ll see things you won’t believe and your local buddies who stayed home ain’t gonna believe what you saw either, so bring a camera and lots of batteries and memory chips, ‘cause it’s gonna be a field day.
Checking his messages, and looking stressed, Brian had to go………..work was calling. As he adjusted his Tommy Bahama sunglasses and ran out the door, he yelled back, “Now don’t forget, I want an 8x10 semi-glossy photo of that engraving on the ring and pinion and in a carbon fiber frame. Anniversary’s coming up and nothing’s too good for my honey.” There’s another explosive outburst in Bob’s office. Jeezus, this Sacto chapter’s got one of every kind, don’t they? What a cockamammy bunch!!
Long after dark, I’m relaxing on the patio, burning a Lucky Strike at the Blue Note, with my arm around V-tec. I don’t even try to relate this bizarre stuff to her. We just sigh a lot and star at Mars hanging in the sky.
I mentally drift off, checking off my self-assigned tasks: I’ve just about covered all the NoSexPO stuff, I’ve thoroughly exposed (and pissed off) most of the Sacto chapter, amused the local sponsors and wore ole Hrant out. What’s left? Hmmmmmmmmmm not much. Well there’s the light weight fun stuff and that’s about it. V-tec breaks my concentration. “Hey big boy, got any more Rolling Stones I should hear?” Alright, I grin to myself……….. Here we go again. It’s going to be a long nite.
Good to know Jake's Still Around
Good to know 'Ol Jake made it up the hill to Comptech, maybe we need to expose Jake to see what made it on his Avacado Green Integra it's been a few days since we've heard from him maybe Comptech dialed him in with some new brakes
Can't wait till the next episode. Keep up the good work Jake.
Good to know 'Ol Jake made it up the hill to Comptech, maybe we need to expose Jake to see what made it on his Avacado Green Integra
it's been a few days since we've heard from him maybe Comptech dialed him in with some new brakes Can't wait till the next episode. Keep up the good work Jake.
Not so fast Super Sleuth ............ as long as some of us still have some blood in our veins, you don't get to sign off so quickly.
From whomever or wherever you are/were getting your research from, you missed a good one yesterday at our club meeting where there was ample fertile ground for another article or two especially since Big Al talked about his "spin" .............. get that pencil from the back of your ear or was that a Lucky Strike and bring out the yellow pad, there is some writing to do ........ and some more laughs and anxiety attacks before NoSeXpo ...........
From whomever or wherever you are/were getting your research from, you missed a good one yesterday at our club meeting where there was ample fertile ground for another article or two especially since Big Al talked about his "spin" .............. get that pencil from the back of your ear or was that a Lucky Strike and bring out the yellow pad, there is some writing to do ........ and some more laughs and anxiety attacks before NoSeXpo ...........
I think SS is Hrant. Their typing styles are very similar.
(Notice the overuse of .................... )
(Notice the overuse of .................... )
Exposing Jake
Fritz,
I really really think that your suspicions about SS being Hrant are wrong, but I will go out on a limb here and say I'm pretty sure 'Ol Jake was at our local chapter meeting last night. But after reading all the episodes I'm pretty convinced that Hrant and 'Ol Jake are Drinking buddies down at the Blue Note, have you noticed Hrant's "new image" it might be a disguise so we don't recognize him coming out of the Blue Note
(Sorry, Hrant I couldn't resist)
Fritz,
I really really think that your suspicions about SS being Hrant are wrong, but I will go out on a limb here and say I'm pretty sure 'Ol Jake was at our local chapter meeting last night. But after reading all the episodes I'm pretty convinced that Hrant and 'Ol Jake are Drinking buddies down at the Blue Note, have you noticed Hrant's "new image" it might be a disguise so we don't recognize him coming out of the Blue Note
(Sorry, Hrant I couldn't resist)
Who or what to expose
Hrant, with all due respect, my original mission was to expose NSXPO and not necessarily you characters in the Sacto chapter. If you wanna start paying the bills, I can definitely keep this thread going, but I gotta get a real job since my bar tab down at the Blue Note is big enough that the barmaid's screamin eagle tatoo is giving me the evil eye. Al's campaign for Governator is plenty of fuel for the fire, but I'll need a body guard (for the bar maid as well as Al).
Might have to take this thread to the NW Forum as the rest of the country knows way more about you all than they signed up for.
Hrant, with all due respect, my original mission was to expose NSXPO and not necessarily you characters in the Sacto chapter. If you wanna start paying the bills, I can definitely keep this thread going, but I gotta get a real job since my bar tab down at the Blue Note is big enough that the barmaid's screamin eagle tatoo is giving me the evil eye. Al's campaign for Governator is plenty of fuel for the fire, but I'll need a body guard (for the bar maid as well as Al).
Might have to take this thread to the NW Forum as the rest of the country knows way more about you all than they signed up for.
Jake, I hear you and you have a good point. Perhaps I did not make the connection between my thread and NoSeXpo clearer in terms of getting another headline ......
Well you see, we have a few shakers and movers here in town who are heavily involved in putting this SeXpo dig but are also undercutting my authority as far as NoSeXpo decisions go; talk about getting paranoid ............ yeah politics is starting to show its ugly head this late in the game Some have resorted to pre-empting my show and tell prep work for the big event with all this aftermarket goodies competition solely done in preparation to pimp for bragging rights at SexPo ........ which tells you how much draw this NoSexPo has on their psyche; and if it is happening here, I am sure it must be happeneing elsewhere, heck we had five newbies who attended our club meeting for the first time .......... and yes sirry bob, SeX-po always sells ............
And then we have our fearless club pres who wants to chair every event he is associted with but does not want to do the schmoozing and ki$$ing sponsors for moula ...... but he has time to also be chief inspector Cruzo for SexPo when it comes to teching cars yet he still runs on the track with pads that are half broken off ......... and that "spin" that he confessed to ........ how he can be designated an instructor for SexPo baffles me ........
So what I am saying is, we are having some dynamics associated with planning this NoSexPo show ....... while the outside world thinks we are humming, the internal dynamics have taken a life of their own that were showcased at the club meeting ................ and that's why I said you missed a good one.
As for Kirk, I have no clue to what he is talking about ...... and unless he knows something I don't, as I said they are undercutting me .......... how can he be so sure .........
Anywho, based on the latest registration numbers, this seems to be going to be one of the best NSXPOs ever and this has encouraged us to work on few more surprises .......... stay tuned.
Well you see, we have a few shakers and movers here in town who are heavily involved in putting this SeXpo dig but are also undercutting my authority as far as NoSeXpo decisions go; talk about getting paranoid
............ yeah politics is starting to show its ugly head this late in the game Some have resorted to pre-empting my show and tell prep work for the big event with all this aftermarket goodies competition solely done in preparation to pimp for bragging rights at SexPo ........ which tells you how much draw this NoSexPo has on their psyche; and if it is happening here, I am sure it must be happeneing elsewhere, heck we had five newbies who attended our club meeting for the first time .......... and yes sirry bob, SeX-po always sells ............And then we have our fearless club pres who wants to chair every event he is associted with but does not want to do the schmoozing and ki$$ing sponsors for moula ...... but he has time to also be chief inspector Cruzo for SexPo when it comes to teching cars yet he still runs on the track with pads that are half broken off
......... and that "spin" that he confessed to ........ how he can be designated an instructor for SexPo baffles me ........ So what I am saying is, we are having some dynamics associated with planning this NoSexPo show ....... while the outside world thinks we are humming, the internal dynamics have taken a life of their own that were showcased at the club meeting ................ and that's why I said you missed a good one.
As for Kirk, I have no clue to what he is talking about ......
and unless he knows something I don't, as I said they are undercutting me .......... how can he be so sure ......... Anywho, based on the latest registration numbers, this seems to be going to be one of the best NSXPOs ever and this has encouraged us to work on few more surprises .......... stay tuned.
I'm only trying to clear things up
Hey Hrant,
I was only trying to expose 'Ol Jake, I guess you could call me a sucker for a good mystery. Now I'll admit that 'Ol Jakes original thread of "exposing NoSeXpo" has taken a drastic turn to "exposing the Sacramento Chapter", but there have been some inquiring minds to find out who 'Ol Jake really is. And the other plus to 'Ol Jakes story is that (if any body from out of town has been following) visitors to NSXPO will have a background on all of us I really had nothing to lose but I'll have to admit that there were some of the "sack of tomatoes" guys on the hot seat, 'cause I got some calls asking if I knew who this guy is.
Another thing I was trying to do was to keep the thread alive to see if I could REALLY find out who Jake is Believe me I really DO NOT know who Jake is; although I think I'm correct in my assumptions, but I'm no match for 'Ol Jake he or she is GOOD!!!!
But now that I've exposed my reason, I may have scared 'Ol Jake away.
But why can't we get 'Ol Jake a gig, c'mon Jake has Hrant already hit you up for sponsorship You can dig into your Starbuck's and Krispy Kreme budget for something as good as NSXPO.
Hey Hrant,
I was only trying to expose 'Ol Jake, I guess you could call me a sucker for a good mystery. Now I'll admit that 'Ol Jakes original thread of "exposing NoSeXpo" has taken a drastic turn to "exposing the Sacramento Chapter", but there have been some inquiring minds to find out who 'Ol Jake really is. And the other plus to 'Ol Jakes story is that (if any body from out of town has been following) visitors to NSXPO will have a background on all of us
I really had nothing to lose but I'll have to admit that there were some of the "sack of tomatoes" guys on the hot seat, 'cause I got some calls asking if I knew who this guy is.Another thing I was trying to do was to keep the thread alive to see if I could REALLY find out who Jake is
Believe me I really DO NOT know who Jake is; although I think I'm correct in my assumptions, but I'm no match for 'Ol Jake he or she is GOOD!!!!But now that I've exposed my reason, I may have scared 'Ol Jake away.
But why can't we get 'Ol Jake a gig, c'mon Jake has Hrant already hit you up for sponsorship
You can dig into your Starbuck's and Krispy Kreme budget for something as good as NSXPO.
EXPOSING NSXPO PART 6 THE FUN STUFF
Sitting in the Blue Note early (11AM) yesterday, my pint of Schlitz was getting warm in the blazing sun streaming through the window. I don’t subscribe to that “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere” theory, but a Schlitz before noon with a lemon to knock off the aftertaste is OK. I’m sitting there at the bar, working actually, studying the o-bits for a lead on a case and carefully avoiding the stare of the barmaid. She’s playing Credence Clearwater’s “Born on the Bayou” on the juke box just like she does every morning while curling a 75 lb. dumbbell and unloading the dishwasher.
Just then, Poncho Villa marches in, stepping over the Blue Tick Hound asleep in the doorway. Without looking around, he plants himself squarely next to my stool casting a huge shadow. Keeping my head down, I yell at the barmaid; “Hey Ethyl, we having an eclipse?” No response and my weak attempt at morning humor falls to the floor with barely a dull thud. “You Jake? I’m Kirk Johnson, and I want to know, What are you trying to do to us?” I look up, right into soft dark eyes that could’ve belonged to BB King singing the blues. Nothing gets by me and a chilling thought shivers my spine: “Pack your bags, we’re goin on a guilt trip.” “Well, uh, uh,” I stammer. “Gotcha” he guffaws and slaps me on the shoulder just about knocking me off the stool. “In my past, pre-NSX life I’d be here to take you out for all the crap you been writing about us”, he barked, caressing the bandolier slung across his shoulder. “But now I’m here to help you write about the NSXPO Fun Stuff.” I smile weakly, “Oh, no shit?” feeling glad to still be in one piece.
“Yeah, ……….hold on a second, I’ve got to put myself in that certain place” He looks up……………..”OK, here it comes……….Oh to be a kid again, Kirk rolled his eyes. We’re gonna be racing at Race Place Motorsports (RPM), you know that new Indoor Karting facility down in Rancho Cordova? Oh yeah, let me tell you, we’re all going to be feeling the adrenaline and exhilaration of good natured but high powered competition; wheel to wheel racing. More fun than a roller coaster, the track junkies and polishers alike will be head to head and there just might be a few surprises. For instance, I’m not even thinking about kicking butt on any of the locals, they’re wimps, I’m waiting for the big guns, like the instructors and pro racers coming from back east. Oh, yeah, I feel the need for speed. Don’t even need cool down laps. We’ll hop right out and do our bench racing over lunch, compliments of Fabrication Specialties.” “You’re coming all the way over here from Sonoma?” I ask. “Yeah, it’s perfect, because it’s right on the way to Comptech where we’re going later. And we’ll be driving right by the State Capitol where the party will still be going on from the election on Tuesday. Pretty slick, huh?” “Ka, ka, cool” as I quaff the rest of my Schlitz.
“Hey, now get this.” He looked at me with those now intent and piercing dark eyes. “Remember being a teenager and polishing up your 73 Pinto and parking it down at the In-and-Out Burger with all your buddies?” I look over my shoulder to see who he’s talking to. 73 Pinto? Is he kidding? I maybe couthless, but I’m not completely clueless. I never even thought about it. “You had a Pinto?” I ask incredulously. “Oh yeah” he said nodding his head up and down like a bobblehead doll. They were retro cool when they came out. We knew they were completely ridiculous but that’s why we loved em, sort of like the Pacer”. I burst out laughing, pulling a muscle in my gut and spraying Schlitz across the room like a crop duster at dawn. Kirk gives me a quizzical look but doesn’t miss a beat. “We’re going to re-live those prideful and youth centered days at our own exclusive concours. It’s a tradition, but all in fun. They’ll be giving out loads of prizes and gag gifts of all sorts. It’s going to be rich. Oh and I just might tell the story about my old girlfriend, Run Around Sue.” “Sounds great”, I said quickly, not wanting to talk about women in front of Ethyl, “you got any avocado green NSXs?” He grins a big one, pearly whites from here to Thursday. “When you going to take me for a cruise in that bad boy Integra of yours?” I’m thinking, Hey this guy ain’t too stuffy like the rest of those clowns and he must have big cojones to be seen with me.
“Oh, but I almost forgot about the food”, he said, licking his lips. “Now this may be a little over your head, but In the Napa/Sonoma valley, food and wine are like king and queen, are you following me? Fine cuisine goes with wine like, well like Big Al goes with whine, like Zymol goes with concours, like Ken goes with OEM, like Comptech goes with reliability, like Niello goes with service, and Dali goes with racing. Wow, did I just say all that? You can tell I been reading your long-winded tirades, huh? But seriously,” he lowers his voice dramatically, “we will experience the best of the grits and wine that this world-renown region has to offer, guaranteed. Thursday night, for example, will be a veritable culinary delight at the Napa Valley Grill. You’re gonna fall down laughing but it’s in Yountville. No lie, I’m not making that up. But I digress. Now get this, our own fine dining critic will be coming all the way from Chicago to compare this dinner with the gastro delights of previous NSXPO’s. So, no detail will be left unexplained. Oh and lest we forget, American Honda will treat us to a savory lunch at the track not only Friday, but Saturday and Sunday too.” A little drool leaked out of the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, I’m getting hungry just hearing myself talk about it.”
Forced to think about eating, the bar peanuts I had for breakfast was a sorry thought and I struggled to change the subject. He’d been going on for awhile and I just had to ask. “Johnson, huh? You know, you don’t look like no fair skinned Nordic son of John to me.” “Yeah, looks can be deceiving, can’t they. But, hey, you’re in California, whatdja expect?” “Yeah, California,” I counter, it’s not too hard to remind myself every morning that I’m not in Kansas anymore. Pretty weird even for me and that’s saying something.” The barmaid clears her throat in a way that says “What B.S.!!”.
“Well, ya know,” I’m thinking out loud, “the really juicy stuff, the really heavy and diabolically fun stuff will be enjoying all the celebration and mayhem after the election, which, as you just pointed out, happens to be the Tuesday before NSXPO starts. The folks coming from out of state will be right here where the bizarre celebrating and gnashing of teeth will take place. Yes indeed, Sacramento to San Francisco will be the center of some non-typical and always bizarre California behavior.” “Yeah” Kirk starts singing “They’ll be dancing…………….dancing in the street………. San Francisco and ah, ah, San Jose…………..”. He throws down his big straw hat and starts to dance around it like a line backer trying to celebrate a sack. Martha and the Vandellas would not have been amused. The Blue Tick Hound covered his ears.
“Well, it’s about that time” he said, opening up worn leather saddlebags and showing me huge bundles of Mexican pesos. “Time to go up to Comptech and crack the whip. Every now and then, I just barge in there like a gunslinger into a bar, throw down a big wad of money and yell ‘make me happy’. Works every time!!!” as he heads out the door whistling.
As I watch him go, I realize it’s time to throw the checkers on this chapter of yellow journalism. I almost regret seeing this gig come to an end. Oh yeah, I’m supposed to say it’s been a nice change from writing comic books, and not really all that dissimilar from my normal genre. And that’s all true; I am all fired up now and my next comic book should be really bizarre. But the truth is, here comes my standard disclaimer, I been writing this NoSeXPO stuff for a “Deep Throat” in the Sacto Chapter who pays me off with a lunch at Jack’s Urban Eats once a week and bottle of Jack Daniels. He whispers an idea and lets me have fun with it. But, alas, it wasn’t paying the bar tab and wasn’t helping me take V-tec out like I’m s’posed to. So, now I need to get a real job. And you, Mr. or Ms. cool NSX owner/driver/racer/poser, need to get your ass up to NSXPO. In case, you haven’t been payin’ attention, the cut-off for registration is only a coupla weeks off and if you want to sign up after that, well, let’s just say “It’ll cost ya.”
Oh, and one last thing. When you’re up there having huge gobs of fun, be sure and look around once in a while ‘cause you just might see an Avocado Green Integra parked across the street with a guy reading a newspaper behind the wheel. Just smile and go on about your business. C’ya.
Sitting in the Blue Note early (11AM) yesterday, my pint of Schlitz was getting warm in the blazing sun streaming through the window. I don’t subscribe to that “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere” theory, but a Schlitz before noon with a lemon to knock off the aftertaste is OK. I’m sitting there at the bar, working actually, studying the o-bits for a lead on a case and carefully avoiding the stare of the barmaid. She’s playing Credence Clearwater’s “Born on the Bayou” on the juke box just like she does every morning while curling a 75 lb. dumbbell and unloading the dishwasher.
Just then, Poncho Villa marches in, stepping over the Blue Tick Hound asleep in the doorway. Without looking around, he plants himself squarely next to my stool casting a huge shadow. Keeping my head down, I yell at the barmaid; “Hey Ethyl, we having an eclipse?” No response and my weak attempt at morning humor falls to the floor with barely a dull thud. “You Jake? I’m Kirk Johnson, and I want to know, What are you trying to do to us?” I look up, right into soft dark eyes that could’ve belonged to BB King singing the blues. Nothing gets by me and a chilling thought shivers my spine: “Pack your bags, we’re goin on a guilt trip.”
“Well, uh, uh,” I stammer. “Gotcha” he guffaws and slaps me on the shoulder just about knocking me off the stool. “In my past, pre-NSX life I’d be here to take you out for all the crap you been writing about us”, he barked, caressing the bandolier slung across his shoulder. “But now I’m here to help you write about the NSXPO Fun Stuff.” I smile weakly, “Oh, no shit?” feeling glad to still be in one piece.“Yeah, ……….hold on a second, I’ve got to put myself in that certain place” He looks up……………..”OK, here it comes……….Oh to be a kid again, Kirk rolled his eyes. We’re gonna be racing at Race Place Motorsports (RPM), you know that new Indoor Karting facility down in Rancho Cordova? Oh yeah, let me tell you, we’re all going to be feeling the adrenaline and exhilaration of good natured but high powered competition; wheel to wheel racing. More fun than a roller coaster, the track junkies and polishers alike will be head to head and there just might be a few surprises. For instance, I’m not even thinking about kicking butt on any of the locals, they’re wimps, I’m waiting for the big guns, like the instructors and pro racers coming from back east. Oh, yeah, I feel the need for speed. Don’t even need cool down laps. We’ll hop right out and do our bench racing over lunch, compliments of Fabrication Specialties.” “You’re coming all the way over here from Sonoma?” I ask. “Yeah, it’s perfect, because it’s right on the way to Comptech where we’re going later. And we’ll be driving right by the State Capitol where the party will still be going on from the election on Tuesday. Pretty slick, huh?” “Ka, ka, cool” as I quaff the rest of my Schlitz.
“Hey, now get this.” He looked at me with those now intent and piercing dark eyes. “Remember being a teenager and polishing up your 73 Pinto and parking it down at the In-and-Out Burger with all your buddies?” I look over my shoulder to see who he’s talking to. 73 Pinto? Is he kidding? I maybe couthless, but I’m not completely clueless. I never even thought about it. “You had a Pinto?” I ask incredulously. “Oh yeah” he said nodding his head up and down like a bobblehead doll. They were retro cool when they came out. We knew they were completely ridiculous but that’s why we loved em, sort of like the Pacer”. I burst out laughing, pulling a muscle in my gut and spraying Schlitz across the room like a crop duster at dawn. Kirk gives me a quizzical look but doesn’t miss a beat. “We’re going to re-live those prideful and youth centered days at our own exclusive concours. It’s a tradition, but all in fun. They’ll be giving out loads of prizes and gag gifts of all sorts. It’s going to be rich. Oh and I just might tell the story about my old girlfriend, Run Around Sue.”
“Sounds great”, I said quickly, not wanting to talk about women in front of Ethyl, “you got any avocado green NSXs?” He grins a big one, pearly whites from here to Thursday. “When you going to take me for a cruise in that bad boy Integra of yours?” I’m thinking, Hey this guy ain’t too stuffy like the rest of those clowns and he must have big cojones to be seen with me. “Oh, but I almost forgot about the food”, he said, licking his lips. “Now this may be a little over your head, but In the Napa/Sonoma valley, food and wine are like king and queen, are you following me? Fine cuisine goes with wine like, well like Big Al goes with whine, like Zymol goes with concours, like Ken goes with OEM, like Comptech goes with reliability, like Niello goes with service, and Dali goes with racing. Wow, did I just say all that? You can tell I been reading your long-winded tirades, huh? But seriously,” he lowers his voice dramatically, “we will experience the best of the grits and wine that this world-renown region has to offer, guaranteed. Thursday night, for example, will be a veritable culinary delight at the Napa Valley Grill. You’re gonna fall down laughing but it’s in Yountville.
No lie, I’m not making that up. But I digress. Now get this, our own fine dining critic will be coming all the way from Chicago to compare this dinner with the gastro delights of previous NSXPO’s. So, no detail will be left unexplained. Oh and lest we forget, American Honda will treat us to a savory lunch at the track not only Friday, but Saturday and Sunday too.” A little drool leaked out of the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, I’m getting hungry just hearing myself talk about it.” Forced to think about eating, the bar peanuts I had for breakfast was a sorry thought and I struggled to change the subject. He’d been going on for awhile and I just had to ask. “Johnson, huh? You know, you don’t look like no fair skinned Nordic son of John to me.” “Yeah, looks can be deceiving, can’t they. But, hey, you’re in California, whatdja expect?” “Yeah, California,” I counter, it’s not too hard to remind myself every morning that I’m not in Kansas anymore. Pretty weird even for me and that’s saying something.” The barmaid clears her throat in a way that says “What B.S.!!”.
“Well, ya know,” I’m thinking out loud, “the really juicy stuff, the really heavy and diabolically fun stuff will be enjoying all the celebration and mayhem after the election, which, as you just pointed out, happens to be the Tuesday before NSXPO starts. The folks coming from out of state will be right here where the bizarre celebrating and gnashing of teeth will take place. Yes indeed, Sacramento to San Francisco will be the center of some non-typical and always bizarre California behavior.” “Yeah” Kirk starts singing “They’ll be dancing…………….dancing in the street………. San Francisco and ah, ah, San Jose…………..”. He throws down his big straw hat and starts to dance around it like a line backer trying to celebrate a sack. Martha and the Vandellas would not have been amused. The Blue Tick Hound covered his ears.
“Well, it’s about that time” he said, opening up worn leather saddlebags and showing me huge bundles of Mexican pesos. “Time to go up to Comptech and crack the whip. Every now and then, I just barge in there like a gunslinger into a bar, throw down a big wad of money and yell ‘make me happy’. Works every time!!!” as he heads out the door whistling.
As I watch him go, I realize it’s time to throw the checkers on this chapter of yellow journalism. I almost regret seeing this gig come to an end. Oh yeah, I’m supposed to say it’s been a nice change from writing comic books, and not really all that dissimilar from my normal genre. And that’s all true; I am all fired up now and my next comic book should be really bizarre. But the truth is, here comes my standard disclaimer, I been writing this NoSeXPO stuff for a “Deep Throat” in the Sacto Chapter who pays me off with a lunch at Jack’s Urban Eats once a week and bottle of Jack Daniels. He whispers an idea and lets me have fun with it. But, alas, it wasn’t paying the bar tab and wasn’t helping me take V-tec out like I’m s’posed to. So, now I need to get a real job. And you, Mr. or Ms. cool NSX owner/driver/racer/poser, need to get your ass up to NSXPO. In case, you haven’t been payin’ attention, the cut-off for registration is only a coupla weeks off and if you want to sign up after that, well, let’s just say “It’ll cost ya.”
Oh, and one last thing. When you’re up there having huge gobs of fun, be sure and look around once in a while ‘cause you just might see an Avocado Green Integra parked across the street with a guy reading a newspaper behind the wheel. Just smile and go on about your business. C’ya.
Hmmmmm????
Well, this thread was getting so lonely I haven't been checking in very much. Drinking Schlitz now, what's next Jake, Keystone?
Well I must have had a real bad case of "red mist" cause I don't even remember talking to you, but once again being the Super Sleuth that you are, the facts you managed to drag out of me are correct. And those guys @ Comptech are a bunch of straight shooters, I'm still wondering what mods you put on that '87 Integra.
Still wondering who you are, you'll have to catch me when on not on my way to Comptech.
Well, this thread was getting so lonely I haven't been checking in very much. Drinking Schlitz now, what's next Jake, Keystone?
Well I must have had a real bad case of "red mist" cause I don't even remember talking to you, but once again being the Super Sleuth that you are, the facts you managed to drag out of me are correct. And those guys @ Comptech are a bunch of straight shooters, I'm still wondering what mods you put on that '87 Integra.
Still wondering who you are, you'll have to catch me when on not on my way to Comptech.
show us the pictures!!
the crowd chanted.
So, you suggesting I made this stuff up? I think you should post pictures of each one of you guys described here and let the NSX community at large decide how much of this stuff is fiction.
the crowd chanted.
So, you suggesting I made this stuff up? I think you should post pictures of each one of you guys described here and let the NSX community at large decide how much of this stuff is fiction.
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