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Parents & Growing Up

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MsKadyB

Experienced Member
Joined
9 February 2004
Messages
331
Location
Orange County
At what point in your life did you stop seeking your parents' approval on choices that you make regarding your personal life? I'm at this point in my life right now where I know I am old enough to make my own decisions, yet a part of me still feels as if I should still run things by my mom. Thoughts? :confused: :(
 
18, Truly. Right after high school. Among entering college. I was truly on my own. I still talked to my mom about things, but I have not asked her for anything or money since my freshman year in college.
Moms will always be mom, if you have a great one. always let her be a part of your life. When you need insight, ask her. Ultimately, you are going to do what you really want to do anyway. It's just a matter of time. We are never too old to ask of those that have traveled down roads before us.. Just by your posts I would say that your mom has done an awesome job.

By the way, you have great posts.
 
MsKadyB said:
At what point in your life did you stop seeking your parents' approval on choices that you make regarding your personal life? I'm at this point in my life right now where I know I am old enough to make my own decisions, yet a part of me still feels as if I should still run things by my mom. Thoughts? :confused: :(
Click to expand...


If it'll make you feel better go for it.

I don't know, I don't really run things by my parents. They rasied me and instilled their values into me, I figure the choices I make would most likely run along theirs.
 
started making my own decisions at about 14 when they separated and I realize they didn't have any more clue than I did. :p
 
NEVER.....

You will never stop wanting or seeking the approval of your parents. You will of couse make your own desicions in life, but you will always want their approval. Im 28 and still seek the approval of my parents. The only thing is that now I make the desicions based on my approval and hope that they will approve as well. If I were you, I wouldn't worry about it. Just be thankful that you have the relationship with your parents that you do. And that their approval means something to you. The thing to think about is, do you NEED your parents approval before you make your desicions?
 
loNfastNSX said:
...you will always want their approval. Im 28 ...
Click to expand...
You can hardly say "NEVER" at 28 years of age. No disrespect intended. ;)
 
The parents..

The older I get, the smarter my parents seem to be.
Now if I could only get my kids to think that ... :D

Joel 91 Black/Ivory
 
Hi mom,

These are my friends "nagging doubt" and "anguish ball".

They were my friends until I took a risk and set on my own apart from my parents. In the end, they just want you to succeed and do well and all they know is their way. Im not slamming parents at all, I really appreciate what they did for me, but what worked for them, did not work for me. They seemed to do all the wrong things for the right reasons.

I think any parent would realize that once you show yourself to be responsible and mature they will leave you your own devices. You will always be their "child" though. :)
 
Mr.Wolf becomes Dr.Phil?

There is nothing wrong with consulting your parents regarding personal matters, MsKadyB. If you do not, you are shutting them out of your life. This will impact the intimacy of the relationship with your parents and only serve to hurt them.

Speaking of personal matters, when are you and I going to meet? Your mom already told me it is okay. :D

Most sincerely and gentlemanly,
Love
Winston. :D
 
donwon said:
Hi mom,

These are my friends "nagging doubt" and "anguish ball".

They were my friends until I took a risk and set on my own apart from my parents. In the end, they just want you to succeed and do well and all they know is their way. Im not slamming parents at all, I really appreciate what they did for me, but what worked for them, did not work for me. They seemed to do all the wrong things for the right reasons.

I think any parent would realize that once you show yourself to be responsible and mature they will leave you your own devices. You will always be their "child" though. :)
Click to expand...

I completely understand what you are saying. After graduation my mom wanted me to move back home because things would be easier for me financially and I would be close to my family. I know that she means well, yet I know that if I moved back home, my life there would be too easy and I wouldn't learn what it's like to manage my life on my own. I thanked her for being concerned and looking out for me, but I said that I would rather work hard and learn to be independent. She has given in to the fact, but she continues to lecture me every time I call home. Because of things such as this, I hesitate when telling her about things in my life for fear of disapproval. At the same time, I can see where she is coming from because I am her oldest daughter and she told me that I will always be her baby.
My aunt was being insightful and said, "Sweetie, your mom will always nag at you. Just accept it and learn to compromise. Look at me, I'm 40 years old and your grandma still tells me what to do." Hehe...
 
Re: Mr.Wolf becomes Dr.Phil?

Mr.Wolf said:
There is nothing wrong with consulting your parents regarding personal matters, MsKadyB. If you do not, you are shutting them out of your life. This will impact the intimacy of the relationship with your parents and only serve to hurt them.

Speaking of personal matters, when are you and I going to meet? Your mom already told me it is okay. :D

Most sincerely and gentlemanly,
Love
Winston. :D
Click to expand...

Haha...I like your Dr. Phil caption and...are you SURE my mom said meeting you was ok? She STILL tells me I'm too young to have a boyfriend. :p :)
 
KadyB, I think i know where you're coming from. You don't need your parents approval, but you'd like their blessing.
Its good if you can share almost anything with your folks. The more you can, the more of a transparent person you are.

Do you mind me asking what 'issue' has caused you to question this?


BTW, i think Mr.Wolf is hitting on you... :eek: Way to go! MsKady! :D
 
At what point in your life did you stop seeking your parents' approval on choices that you make regarding your personal life?

When you feel mature enough to make your own decisions. :rolleyes:
 
NeoNSX said:

Do you mind me asking what 'issue' has caused you to question this?


BTW, i think Mr.Wolf is hitting on you... :eek: Way to go! MsKady! :D
Click to expand...

Neo,
Well, hmm... basically, it pertains to things I want to do in my life which my mom may or may not agree with, but yes, like you said, I would like her blessing. I'm very close to my mom and would not like to disappoint her, however I realize that she won't agree with me all the time and I can't always let her opinion be a determining factor in the decisions I make.

Winston,
I appreciate your kind words and your somewhat bold nature. You sound like an interesting individual and maybe someday we'll have an opportunity to make each others' acquaintance. :)

Karen
 
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Happiness...

You need to do what makes YOU happy...

Your parents love you and ultimately wish for your happiness.

If you are happy, than they will be happy that you are happy.

You seek their approval for things because you want them to be happy and support your decisions, but sometimes that doesn't happen right away. You are a good hearted person, close to your family, and that is why you seek their approval to make yourself feel happy.

I am 28 and I still seek approval from my parents from time to time, but they don't always agree with my decisions. However, they ultimately are happy that I made a decision that makes me happy.

-Michael.
 
ditto FlightNSX's comments.

Interesting to hear all the varied responses.. MsKadyB, sounds to me like your parents were successful ones in raising you.. I'm sure that they only want your happiness whether or not they approve of what you may want initially. I have a great relationship with my mother although we don't always see things the same.. I think that you are a good daughter for considering your parent's feelings in your decisions but sometimes you just have to do things for you. I have with some success and some failures but in the end, they supported me no matter what I decided.. that is what being parents is all about.. god bless them all!:)
 
I sometimes seek my parents' opinion on matters, but I'm still young (or old?) enough to think I know better! :p

There's nothing wrong with moving back home after school, especially if it'll allow you reach your financial goals quicker. As for the nagging part, just tell her you'd only consider moving back if there were no strings attached. She's not going to be around forever to protect you, plus you are an adult, so she needs to let you make your own choices and learn from your own mistakes.
 
The older I get, the smarter my parents seem to be. jsmdmd
Click to expand...
Very true...

MsKadyB, I actually made up my own decision since very young... basically all the rebel things I've done :p You sure did couple of "wrong things" and have been doing things exactly the opposite of what your parents told you before, right?.

The older I get, the more I realize my parents are not Eistein or Super man, I actually talk more to my parents and seeking advises..

I can see Mr. Wolf "consulted" by their parents about blowing people's head off and putting the dead body in nsx's trunk.. :D
 
I always like to ask my parents for advice, nice to know its coming from people that care about you and not for other nefarious reasons. In my case anyway. Approval is nice but not a necessity. Especially for that whole 'ID' theory :)

Yay, i got to use the word 'nefarious'!:D
 
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MsKadyB said:
basically, it pertains to things I want to do in my life which my mom may or may not agree with, but yes, like you said, I would like her blessing. I'm very close to my mom and would not like to disappoint her, however I realize that she won't agree with me all the time and I can't always let her opinion be a determining factor in the decisions I make.
Click to expand...

Karen,
Just remember that your Mom might not always like the decisions you make, but she will always love you. It sounds to me you have a great Mom and that you respect her opinions, but she should also respect your opinions and decisions. You are the only one who really knows the relationship you and your Mom have, so I wish you luck with whatever differences you have between each other.

Just my .02,
Dave
 
tochigidream said:
Karen,
Just remember that your Mom might not always like the decisions you make, but she will always love you. It sounds to me you have a great Mom and that you respect her opinions, but she should also respect your opinions and decisions. You are the only one who really knows the relationship you and your Mom have, so I wish you luck with whatever differences you have between each other.

Just my .02,
Dave
Click to expand...

Thanks Dave...I appreciate the feedback everyone has given me. It helps a lot to hear from people who have been there and done that. I have learned that growing up will cause many trials and tribulations that we may or may not be prepared for. Some affect our lives more than others. Family has always come first with me and I know my mom will always be there, but I just want to make her proud and feel confident that she instilled the correct values in me to be successful.
 

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