I will have a year waiting around for you to show up. Do you know how phucked up my PC will be by then?
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Aging - some personal thoughts
- Thread starter robr
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I will have a year waiting around for you to show up. Do you know how phucked up my PC will be by then?
will we still have PCs then? IIRC you're very slightly older than me, I turned 40 on 9/11. again, this is like that movie I saw yesterday, one guy waiting for the other to die and join him.
I will be 42 in March. The ladies tell me I don't look day over 25 though. Renee is looking over my shoulder and says I definatly look over 25 now:frown: I just had a sudden sharp pain in the back of my head too.:biggrin:
Now she says I look younger than 35. That cost me a hundoe. :biggrin: :biggrin:
Now she says I look younger than 35. That cost me a hundoe. :biggrin: :biggrin:
Shoot for a 'hummer' then :biggrin: ?
due to very difficult family circumstances, my father and i weren't especially close during my childhood... in fact, i didn't see him from the time of my 11th birthday until just after i'd turned 18 and was entering the air force.
i'm now 54, my father is 82. he lives ~500 miles away so i make a point of flying up to visit him for 2-3 days every 3 months or so. i call him every sunday and wednesday morning to talk for a few minutes and since he can't hear for sh*t - especially on the phone - i got him a presto printer that allows (approved list) people to email him invites for dinner, catch up on latest news, etc.
while my father and i are very different people, i've come to believe i do these things out of respect for him as my father and my respect for myself as part of what i believe a good human should do. finally, i hope to offer my behavior to our sons and their families as to how i'd like to be treated when they're in my shoes, etc.
family matters.
Great stuff Queen.
I didn't even meet my father until I was 12 and didn't see him again until I was 18 then again at 30. He finally paid me a visit when I was 32. I am 42 now and I have not seen him since I was 35. We talk on the phone about once a year. Same goes for my step dad. He left around the time I was 12 I didn't see him again until I was 18 and then he vanished again until I was 35. I talk to him on the phone about 3 times a year. I feel really bad for him as he is a big dreamer but has no ambition.
I am pretty much waiting for my step mother to die and then I will visit my dad again, maybe even move him up here to NY from Florida. His wife is rotten to the core. She hates everything and everyone, even herself. I can't imagine what life must be like for my dad living with her.
My father and I live 20min's from each other yet we only talk or see each other every few month's for the past 20yr's. It kill's me that this is how our relationship is but I know it hurt's him even more for not being the father he should have been, he has realized that in the past 10yr's.
One cannot make excuse's for their parent's behavior but only try to keep them within your life. My dad and brother are only 3 day's apart with their birthday's and are like two pea's in a pod and me and my mom are only 5 day's apart in our birthday's and are also like two pea's in a pod.
When I spend time with my pop's none of the past come's up unless we laugh about something or I hear his regret's which I feel so bad about. We bond like father and son should but we both have so many regret's it's very painful.
My dad has been married 5 time's which I believe has led to most of my personal relationship issue's. Thank god he finally found true love in his wife of the past 20yr's yet I feel alot of his history has had such a dramatic effect on me it has ruined a few of my relationship's due to the issue's I have from the past.
I did have the pleasure of raising my god daughter Desire' who taught me what true love is all about but also made me realize what I have been missing :frown: !
True, some respect for the elderly instead of hiding them away(making it to old age alone should be revered not reviled!) would be nice too. Hiding the unpleasant reality of aging/death doesn't help us prepare for it.
The original posters predicament i completely understand, i'm almost 35 and am starting to feel it. Then again other days, rock on! At least you realised life was important. Don't regret it. Enjoy what many take for granted. I gotta go lie down my back is hurtin'.
Man, I'm really in kind of a funk again with age. Just got back from visiting my parents in Florida, that seems to be a trigger for these kinds of moods. They make such light of their health. They tell me they were both diagnosed with some skin cancer but downplay the whole thing like it's nothing. They don't bother to tell me until I see them face to face and can see the scar on my mom's face where it was removed. My dad had some cancerous mole type things removed from his back while I was there. I had to be the one to tell my brother, they didn't bother. They have no idea if they got it all and my mom doesn't have health insurance, so they may not follow up for her 
. WTF. They're only 61 but act like they're 80 and my dad is on enough pain killers to put down a rhino because of spinal problems he can't afford to have surgery on and his insurance won't cover. I can only hope they're around long enough for my financial situation to change so I can help, but it still pisses me off that they aren't helping themselves all that much. Dad continues to smoke, though at least he has lost some weight and looks pretty good.
Then a couple of days ago I had some business in the town I grew up in. I had some time to kill before a meeting and drove by the house I grew up in and my old jr high and high school. It was very strange to see kids playing in the streets and at the house where I used to play when I was 6-15. It brought back some bad memories driving by the jr. high and seeing the ropes hanging down in the window of the gym I never could climb in gym class.
. WTF. They're only 61 but act like they're 80 and my dad is on enough pain killers to put down a rhino because of spinal problems he can't afford to have surgery on and his insurance won't cover. I can only hope they're around long enough for my financial situation to change so I can help, but it still pisses me off that they aren't helping themselves all that much. Dad continues to smoke, though at least he has lost some weight and looks pretty good.Then a couple of days ago I had some business in the town I grew up in. I had some time to kill before a meeting and drove by the house I grew up in and my old jr high and high school. It was very strange to see kids playing in the streets and at the house where I used to play when I was 6-15. It brought back some bad memories driving by the jr. high and seeing the ropes hanging down in the window of the gym I never could climb in gym class.
Man, I'm really in kind of a funk again with age. Just got back from visiting my parents in Florida, that seems to be a trigger for these kinds of moods. They make such light of their health. They tell me they were both diagnosed with some skin cancer but downplay the whole thing like it's nothing. They don't bother to tell me until I see them face to face and can see the scar on my mom's face where it was removed. My dad had some cancerous mole type things removed from his back while I was there. I had to be the one to tell my brother, they didn't bother. They have no idea if they got it all and my mom doesn't have health insurance, so they may not follow up for her
Then a couple of days ago I had some business in the town I grew up in. I had some time to kill before a meeting and drove by the house I grew up in and my old jr high and high school. It was very strange to see kids playing in the streets and at the house where I used to play when I was 6-15. It brought back some bad memories driving by the jr. high and seeing the ropes hanging down in the window of the gym I never could climb in gym class.
You can not change people, you can only learn from them. My mom still smokes and drinks a good bit and I try to make bets with her to stop but I just don't see that's going to happen. I will say I setup a diet plan for my dad and he did it lost 25 pounds and both him and my step-mom got a personal trainer after watching me get strong and in shape. That does make me feel good. Make sure you take care of your health and don't like the past rune you future. Also I read somewhere that 80% of peoples thoughts are negative so leave the past in the past.
i tried the same approach with my sister years ago - "sis, if you can stop smoking for a year, we'll take you to paris and london with us for a 2 week vacation".
when several years went by with no action on her part - and me tired of being a nag - my wife and i finally accepted that she couldn't stop smoking and that we weren't going to change that fact, so we asked her to join us on our vacation.
i'm really glad we we did because she died from undiagnosed brain cancer last april, < 3 yrs after her dream vacation to paris and london.
enjoy life, change what you can and accept what you can't... life's way too short as-is.
hal
Re: Tomorrow, we say goodbye
Tomorrow, my wife, mother in law and I go to the hospital and watch the ICU staff stop the blood pressure medicine that has kept my father in law alive for the past 4 weeks. He will be gone in a matter of hours. He is 78 and has been losing the battle after an abdominal aorta anuerism surgery did not go well. We have had a few days foreshadowing the meeting with the doctor that happened a few hours ago.
We cry not for him but for us left behind who will feel the loss. It somehow feels better to know that we are suffering, not him.
Tomorrow, my wife, mother in law and I go to the hospital and watch the ICU staff stop the blood pressure medicine that has kept my father in law alive for the past 4 weeks. He will be gone in a matter of hours. He is 78 and has been losing the battle after an abdominal aorta anuerism surgery did not go well. We have had a few days foreshadowing the meeting with the doctor that happened a few hours ago.
We cry not for him but for us left behind who will feel the loss. It somehow feels better to know that we are suffering, not him.
Ted- same feeling I felt as I watched them take my grandmother off life support as she laid there helpless. Inside I felt relieved that her suffering will end and that our entire family can begin to mourn/move ahead.
To the OP- I hear the second part of life begins at retirement age. However, most of my patients over 70 have already come to realize that they might not be around too long. I'm just glad to still see them at their 6 month check-ups!
To the OP- I hear the second part of life begins at retirement age. However, most of my patients over 70 have already come to realize that they might not be around too long. I'm just glad to still see them at their 6 month check-ups!
You know Im 35 now and I think that aging bothers me sometimes. For the most part I stick to my new rules.
Go where I want
Do what I want
Dress how I want
Act how I want
Believe what I want
and on and on...because the fact is NONE OF US ARE GETTING OUT OF THIS ALIVE.
Unless you freeze your self. You wont be alive OR dead. Im considering that option.
Go where I want
Do what I want
Dress how I want
Act how I want
Believe what I want
and on and on...because the fact is NONE OF US ARE GETTING OUT OF THIS ALIVE.
Unless you freeze your self. You wont be alive OR dead. Im considering that option.
WOOHOO, supposedly I'm going to live to 92!!!
Sarge, since a rather young age I've had a fascination with being frozen when I die. I think it's a natural fascination and a facet of our psyche seeking out ways of self-preservation.
Sarge, since a rather young age I've had a fascination with being frozen when I die. I think it's a natural fascination and a facet of our psyche seeking out ways of self-preservation.
You can save a lot of money and climb out of your death bed and get to the top of mt. everest. Tons of people frozen solid up there.
Mine ended up being 87. My dad is 86 right now and not doing well- hopefully he will make 87 in February.
My mothers boyfriend (Vern) of 30 years is 85 and he is doing pretty darn good. He was working up until last year but his boss went to jail for killing his wife so he stopped working for that guy.
I am always amazed when I see Vern and he is doing as good as he is. He has slowed down a bit since he stopped working. I love those older people because they are so damn smart.
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