NSX vs Girl Friend

[NSX UNITED]

To those guys who've found their girl friends/fiances/wives capable of living in the same dimension as the NSX or understand our passion towards car caring and motorsports, congrats. Otherwise, feel free to share your experiences. Okay, I'll start first...

I've been dating this really nice girl for quite sometime now and inevitably, people do have flaws, especially me. One of the things she couldn't stand was my car. I have to admit, if I weren't driving the NSX, none of this BS would exist. She dislike the fact I've to warm up/cool down the car and think it's a waste of time. She dislike the ride because it's not smooth and bumpy. She dislike the way I avoid even the smallest pothole as if it was a mine. She dislike the way I've to find a good enough parking spot (so I wouldn't get scratched) instead of the tight space right in front of the restaurant/store... etc.

Let me get this straight, she does understand the way car enthusiasts think but understanding doesn't mean accepting. To her, a car is just a car. It doesn't matter if it's a Ferrari or a McLaren, she pretty much prefer a car that can take her from point A to point B without wasting time. This is partially the reason why I'm getting a second car, too. However, this doesn't really solve the problem, it's pretty much like a cold medicine that can only numb the pain / hide the symptoms. I even had a thought of selling my car and no, letting go of my date is not an option.

Anyway, I guess posting this topic is just a way to let things outta my chest. I didn't post this in OT because this topic can't be more NSX related.

 

[ALLAN]

no offense, but if my wife were like that...
she'd hit the road jack and dont you come back no more,no more, no more. im sure you have to put up with things she does that dont make sense to you, and im sure she has something shes over the top on that annoys you.

 

[ALLAN]

oh my god, i just read that you thought about selling your car! are you nuts? obviously your girl dosnt care enough about you to let you enjoy something that you hold dear to you. i'd definately give her something to think about!

 

[Zuerst]

Here's a solution for ya... I'll take your NSX, and you buy that 2nd car of yours. Your GF won't b!tch no more and I'll be happy too...

 

[NSX UNITED]

No offense, Allan, but you're the last person in my mind that will reply to my post! I was surprised by your reaction when I talked about selling my car cuz I thought you don't like the NSX much since you've so many other choices

Back to the girl issue, it's crytal clear that I obviously don't have the upper hand. Worst part is, I'm quite emotionally attached to her but I do want her in my life. I've read your posts a few times now and you definitely do have a point. In fact, you sounded just like my friends whom I asked advices from. What will you do if you're in my position?

 

[NSX UNITED]

Haha, Zuerst.

Remember the keyword, I "thought" about selling it

 

[Tom Larkins]

Originally posted by NsxJoy:


it's crytal clear that I obviously don't have the upper hand. Worst part is, I'm quite emotionally attached to her but I do want her in my life. B]

With that statement; Its crystal clear that you shouldn't worry about what she thinks as long as your respectful, unless she is going to be part of you life in the future "Marriage"

 

[winreboot]

Yea, I know what you mean. I had the same problem. Sweet girl Awsome Awsome body and this and that, but when ever NSX was in conversation it ended up with argument that I spend more time on it then her and spend more money on NSX then her.....
Well I found new girl that likes my NSX and everything is fine now

 

[MYNSX]

I totally feel that if my significant other (wife,fiance',girlfriend)can'not tolerate my passions.(NOTICE I SAID TOLERATE,NOT AGREE OR APPRECIATE)I find another "significant other" as for the upper hand thing "that is irrelivant to me requardless".
You mentioned something to the effect about "your" friends telling you (or suggesting)to go a certain route all I can say is ....
If you find 1 person tells you (you look like a horse,ignore it)
If 2,3,4 friends tell you (you look like a horse)
BUY A SADDLE!!

PS... I don't know you at all "but" based on what I've heard you say I would not even concider it a "MARRIAGE" when both party's dont have similar interests and NO-ONE get's the upper hand.I have better marriages working w/ people than that.(and yes,I am aware you are not married YET) and hopefully not to this one.
(I dont exactly have the upper-hand)
THAT STATEMENT MAKES ME WANT TO SET FIRE TO MYSELF AND JUMP OFF A TALL BUILDING ASAP.
Good Luck....

 

[Jimbo]

I have no idea if what I'm about to write applies to you or not...just take it for what it's worth and please don't take it personally....

It doesn't matter if the passion is an NSX or stamp collecting. Sometimes people with deep passions can get self-centered and oblivious to the outside world and to the needs of other people.

If your girl friend is understanding and open minded, she'll understand about your passion...just as long as you don't make it an obsession to the exclusion of everything else in your lives.

Getting a second car is a great idea but I think it's more than that. I can imagine that when it's time to spend some quality time with your GF and to do something that she likes, that it could be annoying to still have to put up with the "NSX ritual" that we all here live and breathe (finding the perfect parking spot, etc). If you try and put yourself in the other person's position, you might see where it can get tiresome.

A time and place for everything.

Just a thought...

-Jim



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1992 NSX Red/Blk 5 spd #0330
1991 NSX Blk/Blk Auto #3070 (Sold)
1974 Vette 454 4 spd Wht/Blk
Looking for 76-79 Honda Accords

 

[steveny]

Originally posted by MYNSX:
I totally feel that if my significant other (wife,fiance',girlfriend)can'not tolerate my passions.(NOTICE I SAID TOLERATE,NOT AGREE OR APPRECIATE)I find another "significant other" as for the upper hand thing "that is irrelivant to me requardless".
You mentioned something to the effect about "your" friends telling you (or suggesting)to go a certain route all I can say is ....
If you find 1 person tells you (you look like a horse,ignore it)
If 2,3,4 friends tell you (you look like a horse)
BUY A SADDLE!!

PS... I don't know you at all "but" based on what I've heard you say I would not even concider it a "MARRIAGE" when both party's dont have similar interests and NO-ONE get's the upper hand.I have better marriages working w/ people than that.(and yes,I am aware you are not married YET) and hopefully not to this one.
(I dont exactly have the upper-hand)
THAT STATEMENT MAKES ME WANT TO SET FIRE TO MYSELF AND JUMP OFF A TALL BUILDING ASAP.
Good Luck....

I will jump with you. It sounds to me like a bad situation right out of the gate.

 

[Ag NSX]

I'd like to add that out of all the things you mention that she dislikes, none of them are excessive, even with a lesser car I would warm it up, avoid potholes and watch where I park. Can I ask if she takes care of her things? I mean, if she had a car, she would run over potholes without a second thought and squeeze into tight spaces so she could get dinged? Personally, I could not take this and would reconsider my options. It just doesn't sound like the NSX is the problem, sorry.

 

[Michigan NSX]

Originally posted by NsxJoy:
...Back to the girl issue, it's crytal clear that I obviously don't have the upper hand...

You are all done right there. If you let her decide what's important to you then you might as well sell your NSX and buy and apron!

Your post asks "NSX or Girlfriend?". My vote (from what I've read in your posts) is NSX!

------------------
'91 Black/Black

 

[MYNSX]

It just doesn't sound like the NSX is the problem, sorry.[/B]

No the NSX is DEFINATELY NOT THE PROBLEM.
Then that only leaves one "or TWO" things that could be
1---YOUR EXPECTATIONS (WHICH IN REFERENCE TO THE CAR (I THINK ARE REASONABLE)
2---YOUR GIRL???
THESE ARE THE FACTS.IN MY EYES.

 

[NSX UNITED]

Wow!! Look at all the replies, no wonder I love this board

Seriously, thank you all for the advices. I'll definitely spend sometime and digest all the different opinions, hopefully I can come up with a solution.

As for Ag NSX,

Yes, she does take care of her things or at least she tries to (don't wanna get into details) but cars is definitely not one of them. Like I said, she just want a car to go from point A to point B. If it gets trashed, she'll sell it and buy a new one. There's nothing wrong with it, in fact, if I put myself in her shoes, it's just one less thing to worry about. Getting a nice car to her is just like adding stress to yourself.

"I mean, if she had a car, she would run over potholes without a second thought and squeeze into tight spaces so she could get dinged?"

10 points.

 

[NSX UNITED]

One more thing, the originality of this post is that I'm wondering if anyone here shares the same or similar experience and to get some advices from different people. I didn't mean "help me to choose my car or my girl" because I'm sure there must be a middle ground for us

 

[cobalt]

It sounds to me like you need to have a heart-2-heart with your g/f. All relationships are about compromise and understanding. While I prefer understanding and tolerance over avoidance, in this case, if you really do love your g/f, then your decision to get a second car may be the solution. When you go out with your g/f, take the other car, and when you go out by yourself, then take the NSX.

Also, if you attend NSX gatherings, perhaps you should have her come with you, so she can see for herself that it is not just YOU that treats the NSX in a "special way"...but all NSX owners! Maybe then, she'll cut you some slack.

I liken this to being impatient about being picked up 10 or 15 minutes late...or getting upset when you are stuck in traffic...basically, a low tolerance when things don't go "exactly your way"...I also think that this type of personality has may negative implications for relationships, but that's JMO.

I once had a g/f who was really nice that I liked very much. But there were two occasions where I was 5 to 10 minutes late in picking her up due to traffic...and she was angry as all hell, even after I explained the situation to her. However, when she was late many times to meet me or pick me up, she didn't think twice about it. Bottom line, I dumped her cold turkey...and was happier for it. I'm not suggesting that you dump your g/f...but just see if the source of her impatience with you and the NSX is a sign of a deeper personality "flaw", i.e. is she helplessly self-centered?

-Andie

 

[SUPO]

Last time I checked, there were 254 million people in the US and 60% women. Also, her bitching about this is like your guardian angel showing you this crystal ball into the future. You need her like Boris Yeltsin needs a drink. Remember, by nature's design - you're the man and she's the woman. You're the valuable commodity and she's the depreciating liability. As sexist as this sounds, it's also life's rules and I didn't write them but I certainly recognize it through taking a step-back and observing this. You tell her to "deal" with "her" problem with the car or as David Spade would say "Buh-bye".

 

[MYNSX]

I didn't mean "help me to choose my car or my girl" because there must be a middle ground for us.
Yes if your dealing with someone who you allow to controll you.

.basically, a low tolerance when things don't go "exactly your way"...I also think that this type of personality has may negative implications for relationships, but that's JMO.

No IMO it has many positive implications in my case it help's weed through the bull sh!t.
And not waste time in pursuit of my goals.
And my fiance' leads in some things /I lead in others PERIOD.I've had many,many opportunities to be married and until recently (engaged "happily")there was always some one who ALWAYS had the upper hand.
MYNSX



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[ALLAN]

never said i dont like my nsx, just that there are other cars i like better. i noticed in your post, you wrote" if she had a car" does she not have a car? she considers your car to be transportation from point a to point b as you drive her around? i dont know about you, but unless your missing limbs, have a third eye or just lost your virginity, but girls are a dime a dozen, and im sure you can find another one to atleast share a common ground with and one who would respect you as you obviosly respect her. if it were me, she'd be history. i really dont think i could be with a women who atleast didnt respect cars. not saying she has to be nuts about them as i am, but atleast pretend to be interested. my wife isnt crazy about cars, but acts interested, just as i dont care about clothes, but act interested when she drags me to the mall.

 

[BoneZ]

Someone want to change this forum to "Relationships 101", its more fitting.

Thanks

---

But on a serious note... just remember your partner/mate/fiance/gf/significant other etc etc etc.... is indeed just that, and they and your family and friends should always come first in your life, because when your life takes tumbles both up and down, they are the ones who will be there for you, not your NSX.

I realized this in my life ... when it was too late.

Just my 2 cents...

-B

 

[MYNSX]

But on a serious note... just remember your partner/mate/fiance/gf/significant other etc etc etc.... is indeed just that, and they and your family and friends should always come first in your life, because when your life takes tumbles both up and down, they are the ones who will be there for you, not your NSX.

I love people and "use" things............


(and if those people happen to die)
Whe'll theres a sh!tload of fine replacement leather for your seat bolsters and steering wheel so they will always be w/ you)

JUST MY THOUGHTS

 

[NSX UNITED]

Allan,

She does have a car, the "if she had a car..." line was a quote from Ag NSX. Ultimately, she sees cars as transportation only, that's why she doesn't take care of her own ride. She thinks that buying a sports car in general is a wate of money but at least she understand that I'm a car enthusiast. Therefore, she's not that self-centered of a person and actually, she treats me quite well.

BoneZ,

Man, I don't need a relationship course, I know what I'm doing. The primary purpose of this post is that I'm complaining about my situation, i.e. the 2 things (which happens to be an NSX (that's why it's NSX related) and my gf, let's leave family aside for now) I love the most in this world don't happen to get along. Either way, I respect the way you see things, that's why I even thought about selling my car. Then again, a 2nd car solved this problem.

MYNSX,

Dude, you're so baaaaaad!!

 

[NSXLNT]

Jimbo had very good advice above. Sometimes our passions cloud our outlook on the rest of life's details. Try to step back and look at this from a third person's objective. Are her concerns legit? If you've done everything you can to accomadate her, giving equal time to non-car pursuits, then the issue is not the car. She WILL always find a replacement for the car to justify her actions. Could be any hobby, your job, favorite TV show,.....
IF you've been doing everything to please her, what is she doing for you? What's the pattern? Sometimes the fear of being alone outweighs our self-respect and we end up letting people take advantage of us. That WILL lead to resentment, and somewhere down the line that resentment will explode. If you are not happy with who you are and the things you do(job/hobbies/interests), no person can ever fill that void.And it is not healthy to allow someone to dictate to you what your passions should be, or where/when/how you should pursue them (all within the law, of course).You may need to consider taking a break from this relationship in order to look at it objectively. If that ( a break ) causes it to fall apart irretrievably, then it wasn't meant to be anyway. A healthy relationship is a subtle dance of give and take. Make sure you're dancing, not crawling.

 

[huckster]

this is rather entertaining--some interesting responses...

inanimate objects, even spirited ones like the nsx cant bring you what a person you love can add to your life.

however, if you are placing the nsx over her then that would explain her irritation.

if she is irritated with your car without real cause, then that says something about her personality and your relationship with her will be colored by that.

my wife said little about my buying the nsx. she didnt understand it, and she didnt think it was a smart thing to do(waste of money). HOWEVER, the final thing for her was, "if you really want it, you should get it. you work hard and you deserve it." this was smart of her, because with marital permission came the responsibility of considering her desires/feelings as well. hey, personal fault of mine, if you tell me i cant im driven to do.

so, i wound up working harder to make her feel special. (lets be honest, we dont always dedicate the same consistent amount of energy to our relationships--there are crests and troughs).

what i was trying to say with this roundabout; this nsx problem is probably not about the nsx--its about her, or its about the quality of your relationship with her, or you may just be an annoying nsx-holic.

im personally a car-abuser EXCEPT for my nsx. so i can understand her 'whys a car important' attitude. there is one thing you could do that would demonstrate how important she is to you, and solve your problem as well(get you your answers). suggest to her that you both go to some relationship counseling/workshops. dont laugh, chicks dig it. and it tells you a lot about the relationship you are driving.

good luck. ps: if she didnt care about you she wouldnt have an issue with the nsx.