^ hahahahahaha love that one
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? for you married guys
- Thread starter TURBO2GO
- Start date
if u dun have plans for kids just have a GF....
i can't tell u how many times there are the weird conversations:
"hi this is my wife such and such"
"nice to meet ya,..... so do u have kids?"
"no we dont"
"........ *are u infertile or something?*"
i can't tell u how many times there are the weird conversations:
"hi this is my wife such and such"
"nice to meet ya,..... so do u have kids?"
"no we dont"
"........ *are u infertile or something?*"
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Haven't you heard of identify theft. Someone like Brylek could easily assume my identity and start doing group buys.
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I love some of the well thought out responses guys. Especially from the married guys. Thank you.
One last thought from me. Since I'm on my second marriage, and for my wife this is her first marriage, this is what I always tell her.
Marriage #1 is for Love. Marriage #2 is for money (She's also a doctor). And Marriage #3 will be solely for looks, a trophy wife. She agrees, and says her second marriage will definitely be for money. LOL
Marriage #1 is for Love. Marriage #2 is for money (She's also a doctor). And Marriage #3 will be solely for looks, a trophy wife. She agrees, and says her second marriage will definitely be for money. LOL
I've been married for almost 7 years now...I think finding a woman to marry is much like buying the right NSX:
Why are you getting married?
How many miles can she have on her?
stock or are mods ok?
Accidents ok?
clean carfax?
is all her maintenance up to date?
How many owners has she had?
As long as you're ok with the answers, then your marriage should be fine. Being honest and realistic with yourself and her are the most important things. If you can't do that, you shouldn't be getting married.
Why are you getting married?
How many miles can she have on her?
stock or are mods ok?
Accidents ok?
clean carfax?
is all her maintenance up to date?
How many owners has she had?
As long as you're ok with the answers, then your marriage should be fine. Being honest and realistic with yourself and her are the most important things. If you can't do that, you shouldn't be getting married.
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ROFL! You guys are the best.
I see the single old people in my life. Life is tough when you're old and alone. The practical truth is.. unless you have a lot of money and can afford to pay for help, it's nice to have people who care about you help take care of you when you're old (i.e. Kids, and SO)
What's the number one cause of divorce? Marriage!!
I have my own personal opinion on marraige, I feel more inline with a lot of Europeans, they have life partners but arent' married. I think once you are married, it's easy to fall into the mind set that that person will always be there despite how you treat them. I think you need to constantly "date" your signigicant other or wife, do things as opposed to taking the easy route and sitting on the couch. That's when people get bored and discontent and start to look elsewhere for "neural" stimulation.
I have my own personal opinion on marraige, I feel more inline with a lot of Europeans, they have life partners but arent' married. I think once you are married, it's easy to fall into the mind set that that person will always be there despite how you treat them. I think you need to constantly "date" your signigicant other or wife, do things as opposed to taking the easy route and sitting on the couch. That's when people get bored and discontent and start to look elsewhere for "neural" stimulation.
"Marriage is like having a roommate you can bone"
- My friend from high school
- My friend from high school
That's true. But the numbers are also skewed the other way by people marrying later in life(less time for multiple divorces) and by people deciding not get married at all.
Honestly, more guys get laid that aren't married than the married ones do. At least after a couple years of marriage. No facts to back it up but I'll bet it's true.
I am not a guy but I was with my (ex) husband 10 years (off but mostly on) before we got married at 26 years-old. He changed, in my eyes. He was fun and happy and then became negative and nasty. I still wonder about what was in his head, although we haven't lived together for 7 years and have been divorced for 6 years. We were married for 23 years before the divorce was final. I know my reasons for being much happier without him in my face but I also know it would be wonderful to find a man I'm compatible with who overrides my need for full independence. In the meantime, I love my freedom. I've got guy friends, naturally, since I'm a tom-boy car girl, but no one special. I'm still looking.
Turbo2go, we've PMed before. I'm older than you and I have grown successful kids; a 25 year-old son and a 26 year-old daughter. I have no need for a man's money. I live well. But the truth is, a special love is what I want. If I never find it, oh well. I always remind myself that it's much better to be alone than to wish you were. :smile:
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I would like to think that when I'm pushing up the daisies, I will have left some sort of notable impact on the world I leave behind. In my case it will likely be my children that will be my legacy. If you want to have children, I think it's important to them that you are married and in a stable relationship. But it's a catch-22. My relationship with my wife completely changed when we had kids. My wife is no longer the person I married, not even remotely close. I still love her dearly, but I can't say I'm happy, however I will do whatever I have to to make sure my children grow up in a house with two parents. We don't argue or fight, we just pretend everything is fine and our kids don't know any better. I would not have married the woman my wife is today. She rarely laughs anymore and is grumpy far too often. Would she have married me if she knew me then as well as she does now? Probably not. But without that marriage, I wouldn't have the amazing kids I do today. And without the kids, my wife wouldn't have changed into "mom mode" and our relationship would likely be great! There's the catch-22.
Even if you don't want kids, it's nice to have a best friend with you, sharing all your adventures and someone to grow old next to. I wanted that, and kids. Would I do it all over again? You betcha, I love my kids that much. If I hadn't married, I wouldn't have them. Their well being and happiness is far more important than my own.
Even if you don't want kids, it's nice to have a best friend with you, sharing all your adventures and someone to grow old next to. I wanted that, and kids. Would I do it all over again? You betcha, I love my kids that much. If I hadn't married, I wouldn't have them. Their well being and happiness is far more important than my own.
This is an interesting topic to me. I wish I could answer the original question, but I've never had a long-term girlfriend.
I'm thinking at this point I will not be getting married again and only do a very-long term relationship if I meet the right girl... I met my wife in our early twenties. We were married in our early twenties and now we are both about 30. 7 years of marriage and now we're getting a divorce. She is the only woman I've ever spent a significant amount of time with. I will now definitely be dating a woman for several years before I marry her, if at all.
My wife and I started out great. She was the perfect wife. Everybody else told me so too. I started out a bit selfish and she made a point of changing me... To great success. After a few years, I started to really become unselfish and almost the "perfect husband". Even now, in divorce, she would tell anybody that's true.
But, after a few years, she became more selfish. She grew bored. Always having trouble with her jobs and never keeping one for very long. I started to see her change. She was becoming more unhappy. I've tried my best to make her happy but there was always so much BS going on in her life. Then I started to really notice her change. She was becoming more selfish. I became suspicious. I found out she had an affair. So, now it's over. She is moving out on saturday...
But it's not over... This process will drain the next few months of my life and is going to cost me big, financially. It's going to be tough but in the end I know I'll be better off. Now, I have to most likely sell my house and start renting again. I'm worried about my dog most of all. He's a pit bull and I don't think I'm going to find a decent place for us to live together without having to pay much more than my current mortgage, only renting. I can't keep my house, but can easily afford it. It's very frustrating! Not to mention, I have a very good opportunity to start another business in november but I'm afraid this whole ordeal will ruin my chances, somehow.
Moral of story... People change. Sometimes you can't do anything about it. Selfishness is the biggest cause of strain on relationships. If both of you aren't working on being selfless then it's pointless.
I'm thinking at this point I will not be getting married again and only do a very-long term relationship if I meet the right girl... I met my wife in our early twenties. We were married in our early twenties and now we are both about 30. 7 years of marriage and now we're getting a divorce. She is the only woman I've ever spent a significant amount of time with. I will now definitely be dating a woman for several years before I marry her, if at all.
My wife and I started out great. She was the perfect wife. Everybody else told me so too. I started out a bit selfish and she made a point of changing me... To great success. After a few years, I started to really become unselfish and almost the "perfect husband". Even now, in divorce, she would tell anybody that's true.
But, after a few years, she became more selfish. She grew bored. Always having trouble with her jobs and never keeping one for very long. I started to see her change. She was becoming more unhappy. I've tried my best to make her happy but there was always so much BS going on in her life. Then I started to really notice her change. She was becoming more selfish. I became suspicious. I found out she had an affair. So, now it's over. She is moving out on saturday...
But it's not over... This process will drain the next few months of my life and is going to cost me big, financially. It's going to be tough but in the end I know I'll be better off. Now, I have to most likely sell my house and start renting again. I'm worried about my dog most of all. He's a pit bull and I don't think I'm going to find a decent place for us to live together without having to pay much more than my current mortgage, only renting. I can't keep my house, but can easily afford it. It's very frustrating! Not to mention, I have a very good opportunity to start another business in november but I'm afraid this whole ordeal will ruin my chances, somehow.
Moral of story... People change. Sometimes you can't do anything about it. Selfishness is the biggest cause of strain on relationships. If both of you aren't working on being selfless then it's pointless.
I grew up in Cancun, while there I worked at pretty much all of the clubs. The number of woman that I have been with for a couple nights or even for a couple months at the time its pretty damn ridiculous.
But when I met the woman that now is my wife I knew she was the one to keep or how do we call them? Oh yeah a "Keeper". That was 11 years ago, but it really does feel like it was two years ago.
Im so happy with my choice, Im one of the few ones that actually gets to shop around... a lot, before finding the "one". And she's extremely hawt!
But when I met the woman that now is my wife I knew she was the one to keep or how do we call them? Oh yeah a "Keeper". That was 11 years ago, but it really does feel like it was two years ago.
Im so happy with my choice, Im one of the few ones that actually gets to shop around... a lot, before finding the "one". And she's extremely hawt!
It's my 11th wedding anniversary today. I just happened to pass a florist today and bought my lovely Wife a bunch flowers for something different.
I am now under suspicion ????
Moral , Don't skew from the norm
I am now under suspicion ????
Moral , Don't skew from the norm
This is a good thread. I got married later in life (at 37) because my girlfriend of eight years got pregnant with our first son. We now have three boys and have been married going on nine years. Are we happy? Not all the time. Marriage is like a roller coaster and if you're not up to taking the ride you'd had better think twice about it. It's very easy for folks these days to give up at the first sign of adversity. One thing I will say is that if you are going to get married do you best to respect your vows. It's very easy to cheat and it's like cancer to a relationship. As a man you are going to take a bath if you get divorced. It may be hard to find someone in your age bracket that does not have loads of baggage. That can make things a bit more difficult. Good luck to you.
I couldn't have said it any better than myself. I was with my HS Sweetheart for almost 6 yrs. What a waste of my life... thankfully I realized it and cut and run before we ended up hitched. Now, with my current fiance/mother of my child(ren)/wife (We're common law married, so we'd have to get a legalized divorce - were slated to get married Aug 17 of this yr, but she is pregnant again so we pushed the wedding), I honestly couldn't be happier. She gets it, plain and simple. She lets me pretty much do what I want when I want while trusting I won't fuckup. I wont. Also I am gone A LOT for work, but she understands the only reason I do what I do is to support us and provide the capability to live the way we do. It's not extravagant by any means, but we do have a few toys (all paid for), a nice modest home, a beautiful son and IMO the best part is we don't live paycheck to paycheck like both of our families did growing up. For 28 and 25 I would say we are extremely responsible, which also has helped. Financial issues can be a huge problem within in relationships, fortunately we don't worry about it often.
We also both believe in the idea that divorce is not an option and if we do have any issues down the road we will work them out. Being married is great when it is to the right person, however I have friends who are definitely hitched to the wrong person and their lives are miserable. Just remember at the end of the day life is all about what you make it my friend.
Edit: And on the florist note, buy your wife/significant other flowers, all the time - even if they're grocery store florist flowers for $8. They eat that shit right up.
Edit V2.0 - Make sure you find someone you have fun with and can laugh with. Make sure she makes you laugh and you guys get each other. Hide nothing about yourself. Be who you want to be and if she likes it, it will work out.
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This is a good thread. It's nice to see people who are honest giving some insights.
Curious if anyone here listens to Tom Leykis?
It's just a talkshow guy who talks about this type of stuff.
Probably not good for people who are with someone they like.
http://blowmeuptom.com/
.
Curious if anyone here listens to Tom Leykis?
It's just a talkshow guy who talks about this type of stuff.
Probably not good for people who are with someone they like.
http://blowmeuptom.com/
.
That explains it.......
shawn110975
Suspended
AlumiNSx wow you nailed it I was in the same boat.
with GF for 1 year got preg, I tried to marry her before my son was born but she didnt want a big belly on her wedding day, so we held off for another year got married then we had our daughter
reading your life I was like man that exactly me. getting married later in life when you more layed back steady job, not needing to go drink the weekend away with all your single buddies.
turbo2go has discovered that he is missing something in his heart. that only children can bring and the single life isnt cutting it anymore. would I go back in time and Aim better as to not get my GF preg so I could still be single /unmarried
NOT ON YOUR LIFE. MY KIDS are the best thing I have ever helped make. and would Literally Jump in front of a car to save their life.
as the pages of my life are at the halfway mark. and now its my kids pages that need turned.
hard to explain I guess but dont jump into marriage you dont get enough sex is the only real bad thing I can think of all the rest is easy
with GF for 1 year got preg, I tried to marry her before my son was born but she didnt want a big belly on her wedding day, so we held off for another year got married then we had our daughter
reading your life I was like man that exactly me. getting married later in life when you more layed back steady job, not needing to go drink the weekend away with all your single buddies.
turbo2go has discovered that he is missing something in his heart. that only children can bring and the single life isnt cutting it anymore. would I go back in time and Aim better as to not get my GF preg so I could still be single /unmarried
NOT ON YOUR LIFE. MY KIDS are the best thing I have ever helped make. and would Literally Jump in front of a car to save their life.
as the pages of my life are at the halfway mark. and now its my kids pages that need turned.
hard to explain I guess but dont jump into marriage you dont get enough sex is the only real bad thing I can think of all the rest is easy
There are so many insightful post's on this topic that I'm glad that I read through it.
As far as being married goes. It's been 5 years for me and my wife. We have two wondeful boys ages 3 and 3 months. As many have said. Marriage is a compromise 100%, sometime you both compromise 50/50, other times its goes to 70/30 and can everywhere in between. Just learn to be selfless.
I know for a fact that if it wasn't for my wife, my life would have been harder and the children I would have had with someone else would not be able to enjoy life as much as my boys do. My 3 year old loves being in the nsx and wants me to buy another one (yellow) just because. My wife's love, support and understanding is why im able to be a part of this community w a nsx instead of just hoping and dreaming of owning one.
As far as being married goes. It's been 5 years for me and my wife. We have two wondeful boys ages 3 and 3 months. As many have said. Marriage is a compromise 100%, sometime you both compromise 50/50, other times its goes to 70/30 and can everywhere in between. Just learn to be selfless.
I know for a fact that if it wasn't for my wife, my life would have been harder and the children I would have had with someone else would not be able to enjoy life as much as my boys do. My 3 year old loves being in the nsx and wants me to buy another one (yellow) just because. My wife's love, support and understanding is why im able to be a part of this community w a nsx instead of just hoping and dreaming of owning one.
- Joined
- 25 February 2012
- Messages
- 2,165
Yes, I started a thread when he came back online after a few years of silence, just to let anyone who might have listened in the past know about it.
This is probably the wrong thread for it though. Different strokes for different folks. His philosophy is more about starting your own business and being satisfied by your success in that, and having that be your legacy. Other people want children to be their legacy.
I haven't really seen my perspective mentioned yet in all the posts thus far, so I will throw in my 2 cents. I was with my now wife for many years prior. We also lived together for many years prior to ever getting married. We eventually married simply because we chose it was the right time to do it. We could have just as easily never married and been perfectly happy. Nothing is different... nothing has changed. It feels the same as it did before. Prior to marriage we already knew we were right for each other... long after the "honeymoon" phase ended and having lived together for years. We even owned a house together and were never married. I have never liked the government being in my business or having more control than they already do... so to me this marriage certificate/government contract was never necessary and initially scared me. We could have stayed together for the rest of our life without marriage, children or not, and been just as happy. The paper was not necessary to remain faithful or be happy, just as the same piece of paper is no guarantee that the relationship won't fall apart. And whether or not you continue to have sex daily or you stop altogether over the years has nothing to do with that paper. I'm sure many won't agree and I wouldn't fault them for their view, but to me marriage is simply a government formality and contract. None of it is necessary for what my wife and I have together and none of it has changed after we chose to do it. We had our own private ceremony with only the universe as a witness that actually meant something to us. At some point later, we quickly did something at a local court house with no more drama or flair than grabbing lunch together. The state ceremony and paperwork just wasn't significant.
Whether a long term partnership works out for you or not should have nothing to do with a piece of paper the state provides. It's simply the bond between the two of you and whether or not it eventually runs it's course. Whether it's approved by the state or not should have no bearing on it. If you took that marriage certificate away from me tonight I can't honestly say I would really care. The sun would rise tomorrow and nothing will have changed. So try not to see marriage as this binding social construct with religious roots we are all indoctrinated to believe in.
In our group of friends, most of us are in the same boat. Maybe like attracts like. Most of us are in long, happy relationships and marriages that are very strong. Some have children and some do not. We go out and club, party, dance, drink and hang out as if we were single and have a blast together. That also holds true for the select few people I have met over the years from this Prime family. I won't name names, but just about every one that I met over a dozen years ago is still in long, happy marriages and would not change what they have for the world. One couple doesn't even own or wear wedding bands... they just do not care. And from my admittedly limited experience, the secret ingredient is there is no secret ingredient (cue kung fu panda music). We were lucky enough to eventually meet the right people at the right time in our lives... and were completely committed to each other long before marriage and that piece of paper came into play. So when the time did come, it was just a fun formality and maybe a party. There was no commitment made on that wedding day that didn't already exist years before.
There are as many scenarios and flavors of relationship as there are people on this planet, so I don't presume my situation applies to everyone. But that's my contribution and I can say I'm not alone in feeling this way. Now it's time to get back upstairs to the wifey for a night of anime and
Whether a long term partnership works out for you or not should have nothing to do with a piece of paper the state provides. It's simply the bond between the two of you and whether or not it eventually runs it's course. Whether it's approved by the state or not should have no bearing on it. If you took that marriage certificate away from me tonight I can't honestly say I would really care. The sun would rise tomorrow and nothing will have changed. So try not to see marriage as this binding social construct with religious roots we are all indoctrinated to believe in.
In our group of friends, most of us are in the same boat. Maybe like attracts like. Most of us are in long, happy relationships and marriages that are very strong. Some have children and some do not. We go out and club, party, dance, drink and hang out as if we were single and have a blast together. That also holds true for the select few people I have met over the years from this Prime family. I won't name names, but just about every one that I met over a dozen years ago is still in long, happy marriages and would not change what they have for the world. One couple doesn't even own or wear wedding bands... they just do not care. And from my admittedly limited experience, the secret ingredient is there is no secret ingredient (cue kung fu panda music). We were lucky enough to eventually meet the right people at the right time in our lives... and were completely committed to each other long before marriage and that piece of paper came into play. So when the time did come, it was just a fun formality and maybe a party. There was no commitment made on that wedding day that didn't already exist years before.
There are as many scenarios and flavors of relationship as there are people on this planet, so I don't presume my situation applies to everyone. But that's my contribution and I can say I'm not alone in feeling this way. Now it's time to get back upstairs to the wifey for a night of anime and
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