Yeah my gay neighbor's boyfriend has one too. You know, I'm sure they are good cars... but personally I have always found them to be a little odd. Everything is like "oh ok I get it" but then moments later you kind of go "but hmmm".
For example, the BMW-esque interior is what you would expect... but then like what's with the gauge placement? It's like the senior engineers left on vacation and the intern designer Kim Kong just took the project right over. When I first sat in one I was like... is that a sun dial in the middle of the dash? Oh hmm. So then is this so my passenger can tell me how slow I am going? Maybe they put it there because for 23 grand it's just best that I don't know...
Speaking of performance, I've never been in the base coupe. But I had a opportunity to take in a few laps in an S this year. I kind of felt bad. It handled very well, but most of the day I was on the student like "ok WOT" "WOT" ... then we swapped seats and I finally drove it.
About half way down the front straight I was like "Oh..." "Oh..." "I see..." "Huh." "So... this is the Supercharged version... " "That's nice." Brain fart: The Pontiac G6 coupe I rented at the airport felt like a rocket ship compared to this thing. As you would expect, handling was the redeeming value, but In the back of your mind, you know it's not translating as you would come to expect. I don't think it even develops any downforce, which is good because then it would be drag limited at 39mph.
All in all, for 23 grand, I just don't see where this thing is supposed to fit. It's not really fast/fun. It's not terribly practical. You can't tow or carry much of anything in it. You only put people you don't like in the back seat. Yeah it can get 30mpg but so do most cars. I guess you could say the mini has it's place. I'm sure mini-mouse think's it's cute....
Based on your asks, I'd suggest an STI with a few little tweaks. You can put a roof rack on it, have more cargo space, clearance... and it develops enough torque by 4K RPM to get your blood boiling.
Anyways, hope that helps the cause.