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What would you do if your wife did this???

That's and absurd and demonstrably false "obviously".

Individuals generally do behave consistently while under the influence given similar circumstances and stimuli. There is a reason that the phrase "asshole drunk" was coined.

It has been my experience that a given set of behaviors can be expected from individuals while they are under the influence. While exactly the same actions may or may not be repeated, the same can be said for people not under the influence.

In the context of this woman's behavior, she drank a sufficient amount of alcohol to mitigate inhibitions and judgment that would normally be present when sober. By definition, the behavior she exhibited was a result of her uninhibited desires.

I really doubt any would defend her had she instead shot someone in anger, nor do I think anyone would claim that in such a case her anger was "caused by alcohol".

Again, just because an inhibition is suppressed does not make that behavior a "true self" behavior. One cannot remove the suppressing of desires from the "true self." Many people have a desire to do lots of things, like rob a bank for example. But because they may rob the bank if that inhibition is chemically suppressed does not exactly make that the true behavior of that person or their true desire.

People's perception of a given situation is inherently distorted when drunk so any behavior they display in reaction to a situation, suppressed inhibitions or not, isn't based on reality anyway. So the very situation to which one is responding is distorted as well.

Your declaration of alcohol as a fool-proof truth serum is just completely baseless and not supported by any evidence or logic.
 
"I didn't realize that drinking would turn me into a whore."

That's a sorry excuse that a few guys in here are swallowing whole. How would this excuse work if, in her drunken stupor, she were to drive a car or get in a fight?

You guys are idiots. But don't be mad at me for saying it - I'm drunk.

If one had never consumed alcohol before that would possibly be a valid defense. Still responsible for the actions in question but clearly not the actions of a normal, reasonable person.

If alcohol gets you into trouble the problem is the alcohol. The drinking needs to stop, and that needs to be recognized. If you can't stop, there are often other problems leading to the alcohol problem and steps to take.

But while people are 100% responsible for their behaviors while under the influence to say that they were in control of their faculties and were making rational decisions is absurd.

Clearly, if a guy comes home and finds his wife in bed with another man, and that man kills the other man in rage, he is not thinking clearly or rationally at that moment. He is under the influence of chemicals that are not normally present in those amounts in his brain. Still responsible for the action, yes, but clearly the fact surrounding the event would not put him in the same ethical category as Ted Bundy even though they both are murderers.

I think it's important to note the difference between one's wife deciding, clear-headed and rationally, to have sex with another man and her doing so completely drunk. The ethical issue of intent can't be ignored. Now, if the drinking persists we now have intent since the decision to start drinking is being made rationally and with full judgment beforehand knowing full well what the likely outcome is if they become intoxicated.
 
Stop with the circuitous arguments.

She intended to get drunk and impair herself. She's responsible for putting herself in that state and therefore her subsequent actions.
 
Im sorry, but she was sober enough to be able to walk to a restroom without help, Im sure she had some sense of what she was doing. DIVORCE!!!!
 
Again, just because an inhibition is suppressed does not make that behavior a "true self" behavior.

Of course it does. The behaviors one would engage in if they were not inhibited by societal and other pressures are a better indicator of true personality than anything else I can think of. For example, a person who would steal except for the threat of being caught and punished is not a trustworthy person.


One cannot remove the suppressing of desires from the "true self." Many people have a desire to do lots of things, like rob a bank for example. But because they may rob the bank if that inhibition is chemically suppressed does not exactly make that the true behavior of that person or their true desire.

It depends if the inhibition is self actualized of the result of outside pressures. A self actualized person still may have desires to rob a bank, yet never act on them, even absent of the threat of being caught.

Your declaration of alcohol as a fool-proof truth serum is just completely baseless and not supported by any evidence or logic.

Of course it is, and I am surprised that you think I would consider a simple declaration to the contrary by you to be an effective counterpoint, given the fact that I reject your original conclusion "This was caused by alcohol" out of hand.

Had you instead said something akin to "This was precipitated by alcohol", then I would have concurred with your assessment.

"Caused by alcohol", by extrapolation, would require that anyone who drank to the same amount would behave in a similar manner given a similar circumstance. That is clearly not the case. Indeed, I have drank myself blind several times in the past, and have never banged a complete stranger in a bathroom stall. Even when I was not married.
 
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Of course it does. The behaviors one would engage in if they were not inhibited by societal and other pressures are a better indicator of true personality than anything else I can think of. For example, a person who would steal except for the threat of being caught and punished is not a trustworthy person.

The fact is that this is the case with many, many people. If there were no consquences, or consequences were not seen as important, people would do many things they wouldn't ordinarily do. but they are trustworthy since they will never do them. How can you call someone a thief who has a desire to steal but never does for whatever reason?

Many, many men would cheat on their wives if they were preseted with an opportunity to sleep with a Playboy centerfold and could absolutely be guaranteed no consquences. Does that make most men untrustworthy or cheaters?

The argument that having a desire that is normally inhibited is the true self is ludicrous, period. The desire itself may become exposed but the fact that it is inhibited is a healthy thing and not the behavior of a clear and rational brain. The existence of a desire is meaningless. If you don't think most married couples have a desire, however small, to sleep with someone else you are living in a fantasy world, my friend.

The intoxicated brain, by the way, perceives reality and situations differently than a normal brain does and is making decisions based not on the reality perceived by the normal brain. So you have a brain perceiving a distorted reality and inhibitions removed. How exactly are you able to seriously consider that the "true self"?
 
It depends if the inhibition is self actualized of the result of outside pressures. A self actualized person still may have desires to rob a bank, yet never act on them, even absent of the threat of being caught.

How exactly do you go about determining a given individual's level of "self-actualization"? What exactly is this theory based on? Is this a personal theory that you alone formulated?

And what if the "self-actualized" person is normally fine but is drunk and all inhibitions are removed vs. someone who never even thought about the action or behavior before or never had the desire until that very moment?

Just doesn't hold water. Too many logical holes. You'll never know what's inside a person's head and an intoxicated person is not a normal person. You must be very paranoid around everyone you meet wondering if they've ever had a small desire to steal a stapler but the only reason they didn't was fear of getting caught.

The chances that anyone's spouse has had had a desire to sleep with someone else is very, very high. Most are very, very small desires that gain virtually no traction and we'll probably never know about them. They certainly won't tell you if you hold it against them. Just keep telling yourself that they have never had that desire and it will be true. :rolleyes:

If one puts themselves in a position to create severe consequences the act of putting oneself in that position should be corrected. That's like blaming the bullet for killing you when you commit suicide. :confused:
 
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How exactly do you go about determining a given individual's level of "self-actualization"? What exactly is this theory based on? Is this a personal theory that you alone formulated?

I see. You are apparently one of those people that have incorrectly conflated smarmy argumentative questions with discussion and winning with being correct.

No thanks. The internet is too big for me to try to straighten you all out.
 
I see. You are apparently one of those people that have incorrectly conflated smarmy argumentative questions with discussion and winning with being correct.

No thanks. The internet is too big for me to try to straighten you all out.

LoL I thought we were all agreeing to disagree...

BTW- to answer the OP question What would I do?

Wouldn't happen to me. My wife doesn't drink.

P
 
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